Natural Family Planning in my 40's

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Hello!

I am looking for some insight into NFP. I am a 40 year old mother to 3 children, ages 11, 9 and 5. Up until 1+ years ago my husband and I chose let nature take its course and this meant sometimes abstaining and sometimes not.

After the birth of my 3rd child, we did much more abstaining than not. About a year ago, the idea of NFP popped in my head and I mentioned this to my husband. We took a class and have continued to use NFP since. My main reason for wanting to go to NFP classes was because I didn’t think it was right for us to continue to abstain and did not think that was what God was calling us to do. I want to be a good wife to my husband and do not want to lead him to sin in any way.

Our main thought while taking NFP classes was to use NFP to avoid pregnancy, with the understanding that if God decided that it was time to have another, we would both be open to that plan as well. Again I am not using NFP to get pregnant but my whole purpose for not using contraception is because I want to follow God’s plan and the Catholic Church.

Just recently I became more enlightened on the need for just or serious reasons to use NFP. My main reasons for using it is numerous. 1. I work full time as a teacher and have 3 kids to take care of at home as well. I find myself wanting to shut everyone out when I get home, as teaching simply is very emotionally draining. If I’m honest, I have a hard time wanting to “hang out” with my own kids when I get home and am currently working on being a more involved mother. 2. I have a lot of anxiety and scrupulous issues. Sometimes taking care of myself is difficult. Babies in general cause me a lot of anxiety and I’m not sure I’m very good at taking care of them. 3. I am 40 and while age isn’t everything it does create some anxiety about having a baby at this stage in my life. 4. I am finishing my Master’s degree this semester and am looking to possibly change teaching positions next year, using the new degree I will obtain. 5. I have hashimotos thyroid disorder. While my levels are being regulated with pills, during my pregnancies levels can go all over the place, with my 3rd pregnancy I ended up having lots of heart palpitations and cardio tests done as a result, which again leads to anxiety and stress.

I have asked a priest about these issues and his response was "you have already shown a desire to have a family and your current hesitance is in regard to your health and age, as well as the proper care of the children with which God has already blessed you. You readily admit a desire to be open to providence if God should desire that you have a larger family. Given all that you have told me, I see no problem with your use of NFP. "

What is your take on these thoughts? I don’t want to place myself in a situation of mortal sin.

Thanks!
 
What is your take on these thoughts? I don’t want to place myself in a situation of mortal sin.
I think your priest gave you good advice and you should trust him and not shop for second opinions. Relax.
 
What is your take on these thoughts? I don’t want to place myself in a situation of mortal sin.
You need to listen to your pastor and not strangers on the internet. Especially given your scruples. You have been given the answer, be at peace.

Just reasons are unique to the couple. You’ve discussed it with your spiritual advisor. You are not sinning.

Stay off CAF for moral guidance. You need to work with your regular confessor for your scruples and a mental health provider for your anxiety.
 
I think you should listen to your priest, it sounds like he knows you well and much better than us. Also if you asked him this during confession he was speaking in the person of Christ so that was Jesus telling you that, not just the priest and you can get no clearer answer than the Lord himself giving you the go ahead on NFP.
 
What is your take on these thoughts? I don’t want to place myself in a situation of mortal sin.
My thoughts are that, given all that you said, you aren’t committing a sin by abstaining from an act when you choose to abstain, nor by naturally completing those acts in which you engage.
Ditto on trusting what your Priest said.
 
I think your pastor’s advice is spot on. Also, a sin could hardly be mortal when you consulted a priest and took that advice.
 
My hometown priest didn’t give me a lot of advice, only to continue to pray on it. For someone who can be scrupulous that answer is difficult. So I asked Father Joesph Jenkins who has an ask a priest section on his site. He is the pastor in Mitchellville, MD. I have asked him for advice in the past. Is that okay to do when searching for better info?

Thanks for your comments! Have a blessed New Year!
 
For someone who can be scrupulous that answer is difficult
The answer is to get help for your scruples, not continue to seek out additional replies to this question which has now been answered several times over.

I encourage you to get a regular spiritual director trained in helping people with scruples.
 
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