Need a direction in life

[WanderingDream]

Hello I am a 15 year old teenager. I’m asian and currently in high school. I’m sorry, but I don’t know where else to discuss this.

My family is heavily Catholic, except my family. I have two older sisters and a mom and dad. I do go to church sundays and when required. I’ve also been confirmed, but I’m starting to doubt I’m a good Catholic. I used to go to Catholic school, but my parents couldn’t afford it and I didn’t like how I was being treated. I weak, small and sensitive, all features a guy shouldn’t have. Though I am in honors classes I am struggling very much. I’m not even good at math, which I am expected to be. Though my writing may be good, when I speak I am awful. I am really antisocial and I don’t have any special hobbies (I am too embarrassed to talk about) and I don’t know what I want to become. I noticed that I am interested in many things but give up on the way, because I really don’t know what I want to do. I am actually well known in school and well liked, but that’s that. I do have friends, but I don’t consider them REAL friends, you know where they can understand you and you can talk to them about anything. Or is that something a girl should only say? I feel that I don’t have any where to go any more. My life is empty and I’ve been wasting my parents money on stupid stuff. I am sorry for writing in such a manner, but I don’t know how to organize this correctly since I’m just writing my feelings down. I know worse Catholics than me, but I sometime doubt why God has me alive right now.

Since I was born in America I speak English, but my family speaks another language too, which I am trying to learn, but I can’t. I feel outcasted by my family (cousins, in laws, etc.) since we have get togethers all the time. I feel deeply ashamed, they told me I could speak the language perfectly when I was little, but now I’m just another “american.” They didn’t say that, but thats how I feel. My grandparents are going to die soon and I can’t even talk to them. Both in their 90s and one has Alzheimer and the other can’t walk.

I was in the middle of my summer homework while writing this and there is only one day until school starts. I don’t have the strength to finish it… I procrastinated until now because I was lazy and I… don’t have the “will” to. I’ve even masturbated… I felt disgusted with myself after doing it, but more disgusted that I’ve done it more than once. I don’t know what to do any more, I don’t even have friends to talk to… I feel like sleeping and having nice dreams more than living…

Some people ask why I don’t have a girlfriend, but you can’t love someone if you don’t even care about yourself, right? I have lost my will to live… but God is keeping me alive for a reason, right? I don’t like living right now, its too painful… I’m sorry for my layout and paragraphs to be in a strange and bad way, but I guess I feel better now. I don’t think I’ve written own everything that is bothering me, but thanks for reading…

 

[TheQuestioner]

Hello I am a 15 year old teenager. I’m asian and currently in high school. I’m sorry, but I don’t know where else to discuss this.

My family is heavily Catholic, except my family. I have two older sisters and a mom and dad. I do go to church sundays and when required. I’ve also been confirmed, but I’m starting to doubt I’m a good Catholic. I used to go to Catholic school, but my parents couldn’t afford it and I didn’t like how I was being treated. I weak, small and sensitive, all features a guy shouldn’t have. Though I am in honors classes I am struggling very much. I’m not even good at math, which I am expected to be. Though my writing may be good, when I speak I am awful. I am really antisocial and I don’t have any special hobbies (I am too embarrassed to talk about) and I don’t know what I want to become. I noticed that I am interested in many things but give up on the way, because I really don’t know what I want to do. I am actually well known in school and well liked, but that’s that. I do have friends, but I don’t consider them REAL friends, you know where they can understand you and you can talk to them about anything. Or is that something a girl should only say? I feel that I don’t have any where to go any more. My life is empty and I’ve been wasting my parents money on stupid stuff. I am sorry for writing in such a manner, but I don’t know how to organize this correctly since I’m just writing my feelings down. I know worse Catholics than me, but I sometime doubt why God has me alive right now.

Since I was born in America I speak English, but my family speaks another language too, which I am trying to learn, but I can’t. I feel outcasted by my family (cousins, in laws, etc.) since we have get togethers all the time. I feel deeply ashamed, they told me I could speak the language perfectly when I was little, but now I’m just another “american.” They didn’t say that, but thats how I feel. My grandparents are going to die soon and I can’t even talk to them. Both in their 90s and one has Alzheimer and the other can’t walk.

I was in the middle of my summer homework while writing this and there is only one day until school starts. I don’t have the strength to finish it… I procrastinated until now because I was lazy and I… don’t have the “will” to. I’ve even masturbated… I felt disgusted with myself after doing it, but more disgusted that I’ve done it more than once. I don’t know what to do any more, I don’t even have friends to talk to… I feel like sleeping and having nice dreams more than living…

Some people ask why I don’t have a girlfriend, but you can’t love someone if you don’t even care about yourself, right? I have lost my will to live… but God is keeping me alive for a reason, right? I don’t like living right now, its too painful… I’m sorry for my layout and paragraphs to be in a strange and bad way, but I guess I feel better now. I don’t think I’ve written own everything that is bothering me, but thanks for reading…

Ahhh the teen years. So much insecurity and self-doubt. Don’t worry. Things will get better. Some issues you seem to be worried about that aren’t issues at all are…

I weak, small and sensitive, all features a guy shouldn’t have

What do you mean weak? Do you mean not physically strong? Physical strength or size doesn’t really matter. What makes a man a man is his willingness to sacrifice himself for others. Be there for others, study hard and keep on trying. Follow God with all your heart. This is what will make you a man.

I’m not even good at math, which I am expected to be.

Don’t feel bad because you do not adhere to a stereotype. You may have other talents that you are better at. It’s not a shame to be bad at anything, especially to be bad at being a stereotype.

 

[colmcille1]

Focus on you good points.
You are Loved immeasurably by Him.
God Bless,
Colmcille.

 

[reindeer]

I never had children (I’m 62) I would have loved having you as a son or grandson.
It breaks my heart to hear of your suffering. Telling you it will be OK later, doesn’t
help you now. Especially with your family situation. I would prefer to hear that your
family was more loving and supportive and that you were rebelling against them
like most teenagers. I also understand how you feel about your physicality. My
brother felt the same way because he had asthma really bad and it made his
arms skinny and his chest cave inwards.
Is there a priest or other adult catholic that you could develope a relationship with?
Please know that I will pray for you daily.
Lorraine

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee.
Blessed art Thou among women and
blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

 

[taylor2]

You sound like me in a lot of ways when I was 15. I felt hopeless in a lot of ways. My two brothers we sporty and I was not. I didn’t have a girl friend (and I thought I would never get one). I also had “friends” who were not really friends.

When I really hit the bottom, I eventually met a Christian who taught me a lot about God. I started reading the bible, going to church and studying my Catholic faith and started praying more. Well I am 39 now, married an excellent woman (who I met through a church retreat) and have an excellent 8 year old boy. God does really help those who seek him.

I would suggest that you stay positive and get involved with church activities. You never know the surprise that God will put in your life. Pray to him everyday and ask that he help you, and he will.

God bless you.

 

[GratefulFred]

Our two oldest grandchildren are 17 and 12. So it is the third time through the teen years for us. Our own, our kids, and now our grandkids.

First, your feelings and awareness of them is well within the bounds of normal. The fact that you can express them is a strong indicator that you will come through this period of your life just fine.

I told my kids, “Life is like an ocean. No landmarks, no true sense of progress, no beach on which to rest. But as as long as you keep on swiming you will not drown.” By that I mean, small, consistent efforts day by day will get you across that ocean.

Christ said we are many parts but all one body. God has given each of us certain talents. Our talents may or may not be those others in our family have. I’m a pension auditor. My sister is a nurse. Our mother was a factory worker. One daughter is a tax specialist, the other a teacher. In taking those small consistent steps day by day, you will discover what talent God wants you to develop.

The age of personal discovery is, I think, the ten years from age 15 to 25. The unknown can SEEM frightening (the ocean), but it is also exciting (hey, I CAN swim, I AM interested in what God has in store for me when I reach the other shore - true adulthood. I’ll keep swimming, I know that God is indeed with me and things will be clear in their proper time.)

In sport, a basic rule is “Keep your eye on the ball.” The same is true in life. The ball being God. God made us to know Him, to love Him, to serve Him, and then to be happy with Him in Heaven forever. God knows we are imperfect. Perfection is NOT the standard, but rather the goal. We will always see that we are not perfect in this life, but we know that God does appreciates our best effrots and our constant call for His help. We know that we are to prepare ourselves as best we can to be of service to God. We serve Him by serving those we encounter. We love Him by loving others as He would love them. It is a great priviledge to be alive with the opportunity to love and serve.

Keep your eye on that ball - Love and service for the love of God. And everything else will sort themselves out in your life. Be patient. Keep taking the small steps day by day.

Say this short prayer as often as you can:

JESUS, I TRUST IN YOU. SHOW ME THE WAY.