Need advice: Going to a civil marriage ceremony?

[rooners]

I need some advice…

I have a “Catholic” friend. And I say that in quotes because she does not know if she is any more and I have no idea if she recieves any of the sacraments anymore.

She is getting married to a non-Christian(athiest) in a park by a judge. I was asked to be in the wedding and here’s my dilema: Me being Catholic, am I able to be in the wedding or even to be at the wedding ceremony?

Also, she has made it clear to me that she is not receiving a dispensation but a Catholic priest has agreed to make a blessing at the ceremony. Can a priest bless a marriage without it being valid in the Church?

 

[Verbum]

Hi Rooners,

I find the presence of a priest rather unorthodox. But that’s neither here nor there. It is not the blessing that makes a Catholic marriage, but the consent of the spouses before the priest, who receives,is a witness to it and records it.

As for the rest, your being present at a civil wedding cerermony is an act of politeness and/or friendship. It is in no understood as an approval.

Verbum

 

[stbruno]

First of all, more than likely the priest is a so-called rent–a-priest and he probably does not have faculties in the diocese where this is going on. These men are popping up all over especially on cruise ships.
Say thank you, but no thank you to standing up to the wedding. Maybe they would like to learn more about marriage in the church, but going to a new website called www.inthespiritofcana.org.
click on the search…Marriage of a Catholic and a non-baptized person. They will get the information necessary.
If they decide to hold their wedding in the park…you need not attend the service at all.
This is always a dilemma, more so when it becomes a family issue rather than just a friend. Preach often and when necessary use words (St.Francis of Assisi)

 

[rwoehmke]

Sounds like a very screwed up situation, I think I would find myself “out of town” on the day appointed. I don’t think I would want friends that don’t seem to have a scruple in their head.

 

[Deacon_Tony560]

Good points given here, but the final decision is up to you,of course. One of my Moral Theology teachers had to face a similiar situation with his own sister. He went as he was “Family.” Later he regretted not taking a stand to show his sister that he could not compromise his beliefs.

May God give you wisdom, as you decide.

 

[rooners]

Thank you for your thoughts everyone. I have told her I will not be in the wedding and explained to her why. She doesn’t get it, though I think she’s been brainwashed a bit. She doesn’t understand why a priest has to be there when it’s the couple making the commitment. She thinks God will bless them no matter where and what kind of a ceremony they have. She will not listen to me about why it is so important to have a sacramental, valid marriage. I still have yet to decide whether to attend the wedding. She is almost like my sister and in fact both of my sisters have agreed to be in the wedding.

Say a prayer for me that I may do God’s will.