C
CHORE
Guest
Hi to everyone.
Being my first time here, this thread might look a little bit long, but I really want to explain it the best I can.
I met a Brazilian girl 8 months ago. I was working at a restaurant and she came to work there too. I’m never afraid of taking risks, and because my co-workers were challenging each other to be the one who wines her heart I really got attracted to her. In the beggining it looked to me that she was the typical brazilian stereotype (if we can say so), liberal, baptized but not practicing, totally out of my beliefs, and I tried to keep out of reach, but never could. We started out dating.
The environment at the restaurant was keeping me going out at night and drinking a lot. One day we both kissed, and I felt that something could come out of that. We dated still and one day I asked her to be my girlfriend, and told me that she couldn’t accept, because she had just broken up three months ago with a guy, and they lived toghether. (I have to admit that I’ve always had problems and still praying and working hard on abstinence and chastity) Any how, that broke my heart, even though I knew that, I kept on dating her. I thought there was really something!! and really didn’t want to give up on someone just because of that, was that a call??
One of those party days I was drunk and slept with her, two weeks after I confessed and felt a real relief, so I decided to tell her that she ment something to me, that wasn’t the way I wanted to have a relationship, 'cause wasn’t the way I preach and believe, and because she wanted to keep on seeing each other that way, we had to stop dating and seeing.
I really don’t know if my fears of falling again went away, or that I really put my thoughts and prayer into it, but after one week I dated her again, and told her that I rathered be with her than far from her, that I had to live the way I believe and if she agreed we could see each other again, so she did. I think some of you can imagine the next, I had premarital relations with her again, and felt really bad with my self, sometimes I told her that that wasn’t what I wanted but any way I kept on falling!!! One of those days she told me that for her, to abstain was hard, having the feelings she had for me and her beliefs, that approve all of it, but that she will be working for it if that was what I wanted.
Well we kept on dating four more months, she went back to Brazil and came back again before Christmas to spend a holiday, then I went to Brazil to meet her family and kept owr premarital status. Her family was once Catholic, and have a thong against cathoic, but not much that they know (somewhere I read only the 5% hate what catholicism is and the rest what they think It is)
Now I’m here back in Mexico, willing to see her again next month, having thoughts of marrying her and having a family, I think I would stand the discussions about values and morals, I think I would win some battles, not all, but when it comes to my best wish, which is to raise a large nice Catholic family, it makes me scared, what would grant me that it will be that way, am I going to spend the day long with them trying to keep away their Mother’s point of view?? Is it really going to work?? I’m still thinking that running and looking for a good Mexican catholic would be cowardice, and I’m still praying for God to give me chastity, love and after all to make me do His will. I’m still convinced premarital relations is not the way to direct a relationship to a saint marriage, and I’m working hard on my own will-power and prayer, but still need advice.
Probably this is not so clear, in my head and in spanish it seems enough, I hope to have replies and some prayer from you guys. And enjoy the reading it goes with my heart and desire to realize God’s kingdom on earth.
Blessings to all.
Being my first time here, this thread might look a little bit long, but I really want to explain it the best I can.
I met a Brazilian girl 8 months ago. I was working at a restaurant and she came to work there too. I’m never afraid of taking risks, and because my co-workers were challenging each other to be the one who wines her heart I really got attracted to her. In the beggining it looked to me that she was the typical brazilian stereotype (if we can say so), liberal, baptized but not practicing, totally out of my beliefs, and I tried to keep out of reach, but never could. We started out dating.
The environment at the restaurant was keeping me going out at night and drinking a lot. One day we both kissed, and I felt that something could come out of that. We dated still and one day I asked her to be my girlfriend, and told me that she couldn’t accept, because she had just broken up three months ago with a guy, and they lived toghether. (I have to admit that I’ve always had problems and still praying and working hard on abstinence and chastity) Any how, that broke my heart, even though I knew that, I kept on dating her. I thought there was really something!! and really didn’t want to give up on someone just because of that, was that a call??
One of those party days I was drunk and slept with her, two weeks after I confessed and felt a real relief, so I decided to tell her that she ment something to me, that wasn’t the way I wanted to have a relationship, 'cause wasn’t the way I preach and believe, and because she wanted to keep on seeing each other that way, we had to stop dating and seeing.
I really don’t know if my fears of falling again went away, or that I really put my thoughts and prayer into it, but after one week I dated her again, and told her that I rathered be with her than far from her, that I had to live the way I believe and if she agreed we could see each other again, so she did. I think some of you can imagine the next, I had premarital relations with her again, and felt really bad with my self, sometimes I told her that that wasn’t what I wanted but any way I kept on falling!!! One of those days she told me that for her, to abstain was hard, having the feelings she had for me and her beliefs, that approve all of it, but that she will be working for it if that was what I wanted.
Well we kept on dating four more months, she went back to Brazil and came back again before Christmas to spend a holiday, then I went to Brazil to meet her family and kept owr premarital status. Her family was once Catholic, and have a thong against cathoic, but not much that they know (somewhere I read only the 5% hate what catholicism is and the rest what they think It is)
Now I’m here back in Mexico, willing to see her again next month, having thoughts of marrying her and having a family, I think I would stand the discussions about values and morals, I think I would win some battles, not all, but when it comes to my best wish, which is to raise a large nice Catholic family, it makes me scared, what would grant me that it will be that way, am I going to spend the day long with them trying to keep away their Mother’s point of view?? Is it really going to work?? I’m still thinking that running and looking for a good Mexican catholic would be cowardice, and I’m still praying for God to give me chastity, love and after all to make me do His will. I’m still convinced premarital relations is not the way to direct a relationship to a saint marriage, and I’m working hard on my own will-power and prayer, but still need advice.
Probably this is not so clear, in my head and in spanish it seems enough, I hope to have replies and some prayer from you guys. And enjoy the reading it goes with my heart and desire to realize God’s kingdom on earth.
Blessings to all.
.