Need Advice - Trying to begin RCIA, running into many roadblocks

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BettinaAnamaria

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Hello everyone. I’m new-as-they-come to Catholicism; I just attended my first Mass as an adult yesterday evening (my father took me a few times as a child), but I have not received any of the Sacraments. I have been feeling the desire to convert growing within me for about a year now, and I finally began to take action a few weeks ago by researching local parishes. Basically, ever since then, I have been running into obstacle after obstacle in my attempt to get into some sort of RCIA program:

1). After deciding on what I thought would be the right parish for me, I emailed the person in charge of RCIA as designated on the parish bulletin, but two weeks went by and I never received an answer. So…
2). I emailed the Father of the parish, and he sent me back a really snarky reply which made me feel really chastised and thoroughly unwelcome. Apparently, it was not the right parish for me after all. So…
3). I moved on to my second-choice parish. I called the Father, as directed on the parish bulletin. Several days went by without a reply. So…
4). I visited the parish, looking for some sort of registration form, as alluded to on the parish bulletin. There was a template posted on the bulletin board, but no blank forms. So…
5). I used a blank piece of paper I had floating around in my car to create a form, based on the template on the bulletin board, filled in all of my information, and placed it in the appropriate box, which stated that classes were to begin on 9/8. It was 9/3 when I placed my form in the box. There were several other forms in it in addition to mine. I never received a call, email, or any other form of contact.

September 8th has now come and gone. I am very worried that I have now missed this year’s opportunity to join RCIA classes. I just got off the phone from my second attempt to contact the Father of this particular parish - his voicemail states that he is out of town until September 25th! What should I do??? I truly, deeply feel that this is probably the right parish for me, for several reasons I won’t go into here (this is already a long post 🙂 ), and I cannot describe how eager I am to get started on this path. Any advice or guidance from the community would be greatly appreciated.
 
My gosh! That’s terrible! I’m so sorry. In that situation, I would be like you, not knowing where to turn. I guess I would keep trying parishes until I found one that would respond, but surely someone on the forum has a better answer than that.
 
BettinaAnamaria said:
Hello everyone. I’m new-as-they-come to Catholicism; I just attended my first Mass as an adult yesterday evening (my father took me a few times as a child), but I have not received any of the Sacraments. I have been feeling the desire to convert growing within me for about a year now, and I finally began to take action a few weeks ago by researching local parishes. Basically, ever since then, I have been running into obstacle after obstacle in my attempt to get into some sort of RCIA program:

1). After deciding on what I thought would be the right parish for me, I emailed the person in charge of RCIA as designated on the parish bulletin, but two weeks went by and I never received an answer. So…
2). I emailed the Father of the parish, and he sent me back a really snarky reply which made me feel really chastised and thoroughly unwelcome. Apparently, it was not the right parish for me after all. So…
3). I moved on to my second-choice parish. I called the Father, as directed on the parish bulletin. Several days went by without a reply. So…
4). I visited the parish, looking for some sort of registration form, as alluded to on the parish bulletin. There was a template posted on the bulletin board, but no blank forms. So…
5). I used a blank piece of paper I had floating around in my car to create a form, based on the template on the bulletin board, filled in all of my information, and placed it in the appropriate box, which stated that classes were to begin on 9/8. It was 9/3 when I placed my form in the box. There were several other forms in it in addition to mine. I never received a call, email, or any other form of contact.

September 8th has now come and gone. I am very worried that I have now missed this year’s opportunity to join RCIA classes. I just got off the phone from my second attempt to contact the Father of this particular parish - his voicemail states that he is out of town until September 25th! What should I do??? I truly, deeply feel that this is probably the right parish for me, for several reasons I won’t go into here (this is already a long post 🙂 ), and I cannot describe how eager I am to get started on this path. Any advice or guidance from the community would be greatly appreciated.
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Where in the world do you live?:eek: All right, go bang on the parish door and don’t go away until you get a satisfactory answer. It is not too late, next week is the first week for RCIA at our parish. Perhaps the pastors at the churches you visited are over worked, sick, or maybe the volunteer help is not very good. But don’t give up.

Linus2nd
 
I’ll wager you can join up after the start date, especially as father is out of town. WELCOME HOME!
 
Linusthe2nd said:
Where in the world do you live?:eek: All right, go bang on the parish door and don’t go away until you get a satisfactory answer. It is not too late, next week is the first week for RCIA at our parish. Perhaps the pastors at the churches you visited are over worked, sick, or maybe the volunteer help is not very good. But don’t give up.

Linus2nd
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I quite agree with Linus2nd. Don’t give up! 👍
God bless you! 🙂
 
It’s not like you have to attend EVERY single class, or that your missing the first class will exclude you from acceptance by the Church. God willing, anyway! It was not like that at my parish.

Just keep trying.
 
It almost looks like you are posting my story from last year, except I’m on the other end of the country from you. LOL
I had an awful time getting anyone to respond to my emails, phone calls. But I had started earlier in the year.
When classes started, I started, but there were several late starters also. Our classes started the first week of Aug. and people were still joining in Oct.
Fear not! They will get to you! I’m not sure why they are so slow to respond to someone so eager to get in, but I can assure you, you will enjoy!
Welcome Home!!
 
Do not mess around with underlings! It will only frustrate you. Go in person to the Rectory and see the Parish Secretary and make an appointment to see the Pastor of that Parish.
Tell him exactly what you have written on this thread. If, for some reason you do not get a satisfactory solution to your situation, try another Parish.
Please realize that even with priests, you are dealing with frail human beings.
If you live in a fairly large city that has several Catholic Parishes/Churches, see if you can find a Church that has either Jesuit or Dominical priests. You cannot get better instruction in the Catholic Faith that they give!
 
it shouldn’t be too late…at least in my parish the first several weeks are what they call and “inquiry phase” and people come and go regularly as they decide if RCIA is for them…

don’t give up, the enemy really does wander around like a roaring lion seeking those he would devour…

don’t give up.
 
Go and see the parish secretary! Often volunteers drop the ball on this stuff and many if the priests can get overwhelmed. Hopefully it’s just a matter of persistence. My parish has been great, but it did take a few weeks for them to contact me. Then after I met with them I thought they would contact me but after a month I called and they apologized for the slip up and got me started.
 
I live in another part of the SF Bay Area and in my experience is that you contact the DRE not the priest and that you need to email or call. Do not fill in a form; eventually the DRE needs to at least interview you on the phone.

You might try crashing the RCIA inquiry meeting if you know where and when it is held. You are not too late; our parish is just starting the RCIA thing for 2014. Now if you lived a little, well maybe about 50 miles, closer I’d have the parish for you.😉 I am assuming the location you list is accurate of course.
 
There are so many parishes in the Diocese of Oakland you should have no problem finding a RCIA class. There are 19 Catholic Churches in the city of Oakland itself.

My prayers are with you that you find the parish that is convenient.
 
BettinaAnamaria said:
Hello everyone. I’m new-as-they-come to Catholicism; I just attended my first Mass as an adult yesterday evening (my father took me a few times as a child), but I have not received any of the Sacraments. I have been feeling the desire to convert growing within me for about a year now, and I finally began to take action a few weeks ago by researching local parishes. Basically, ever since then, I have been running into obstacle after obstacle in my attempt to get into some sort of RCIA program:

1). After deciding on what I thought would be the right parish for me, I emailed the person in charge of RCIA as designated on the parish bulletin, but two weeks went by and I never received an answer. So…
2). I emailed the Father of the parish, and he sent me back a really snarky reply which made me feel really chastised and thoroughly unwelcome. Apparently, it was not the right parish for me after all. So…
3). I moved on to my second-choice parish. I called the Father, as directed on the parish bulletin. Several days went by without a reply. So…
4). I visited the parish, looking for some sort of registration form, as alluded to on the parish bulletin. There was a template posted on the bulletin board, but no blank forms. So…
5). I used a blank piece of paper I had floating around in my car to create a form, based on the template on the bulletin board, filled in all of my information, and placed it in the appropriate box, which stated that classes were to begin on 9/8. It was 9/3 when I placed my form in the box. There were several other forms in it in addition to mine. I never received a call, email, or any other form of contact.

September 8th has now come and gone. I am very worried that I have now missed this year’s opportunity to join RCIA classes. I just got off the phone from my second attempt to contact the Father of this particular parish - his voicemail states that he is out of town until September 25th! What should I do??? I truly, deeply feel that this is probably the right parish for me, for several reasons I won’t go into here (this is already a long post 🙂 ), and I cannot describe how eager I am to get started on this path. Any advice or guidance from the community would be greatly appreciated.
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:)You knew the date the first class started, why didn’t you just show up?
They had your registration form in the church. Besides it’s not as if you walked into classes and you’ll get kicked out for not having a registration form.
 
Jon_S said:
Go and see the parish secretary! Often volunteers drop the ball on this stuff and many if the priests can get overwhelmed. Hopefully it’s just a matter of persistence. My parish has been great, but it did take a few weeks for them to contact me. Then after I met with them I thought they would contact me but after a month I called and they apologized for the slip up and got me started.
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In my Diocese each parish has parish boundaries. When looking to start RCIA, I looked up the parish nearest to where I lived. I then called the parish secretary. She gave me the voicemail of Father to leave a message right away. She also said that there was a meeting by chance that night and that I should just show up. Our meetings were once a week on Monday nights. Father was there teaching and I could personally meet him after the meeting. Voila!

My suggestion? I would find out when and where the classes are and just go and introduce yourself. They will have everything that you need. It’s easy.

Welcome home!
 
fbl9 said:
:)You knew the date the first class started, why didn’t you just show up?
They had your registration form in the church. Besides it’s not as if you walked into classes and you’ll get kicked out for not having a registration form.
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I didn’t know the time or the place 🙂 I suppose I could have made a plan to hang out at the church all day long . . . but I think that would’ve been a bit, I dunno, uncouth. Maybe this is a good time to add that I have quite a bit of anxiety about even coming to Mass at this point, because I am so “green.” I don’t know any of the proper procedures, and that makes me feel really awkward. It was really a major production for me to go to Mass last night; it required a big self pep talk beforehand. Furthermore, due to a last-minute family emergency, I wasn’t even able to go to Mass at the parish I hope to join; I had to go to a later Mass at a different parish. See what I mean about roadblocks?
 
BettinaAnamaria said:
I didn’t know the time or the place 🙂 I suppose I could have made a plan to hang out at the church all day long . . . but I think that would’ve been a bit, I dunno, uncouth. Maybe this is a good time to add that I have quite a bit of anxiety about even coming to Mass at this point, because I am so “green.” I don’t know any of the proper procedures, and that makes me feel really awkward. It was really a major production for me to go to Mass last night; it required a big self pep talk beforehand. Furthermore, due to a last-minute family emergency, I wasn’t even able to go to Mass at the parish I hope to join; I had to go to a later Mass at a different parish. See what I mean about roadblocks?
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Dont create your own roadblocks!!

I stayed in the back and watched for a couple months, following along with the cue cards and participating as best I could.

No one will grade your performance 😉

It takes time to learn it all but you won’t really learn unless you go!
 
BettinaAnamaria said:
I didn’t know the time or the place 🙂 I suppose I could have made a plan to hang out at the church all day long . . . but I think that would’ve been a bit, I dunno, uncouth. Maybe this is a good time to add that I have quite a bit of anxiety about even coming to Mass at this point, because I am so “green.” I don’t know any of the proper procedures, and that makes me feel really awkward. It was really a major production for me to go to Mass last night; it required a big self pep talk beforehand. Furthermore, due to a last-minute family emergency, I wasn’t even able to go to Mass at the parish I hope to join; I had to go to a later Mass at a different parish. See what I mean about roadblocks?
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Now that made it difficult.
I wasn’t suggesting that.🙂 However you were planning on being at the church that evening. I am sure classes would have been announced at the end of Mass, or in the bulletin, which you would have been able to obtain if you could have followed your plan of attending Mass.

During Mass we worship God with our whole being, spirit and body.
Spirit is done through His grace.
Body is done by our posture, standing, kneeling.
 
  1. it’s the beginning of the year and a lot of parishes are starting up their “regular” programming now that summer is over. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, but rather, it’s a busy time of year, so unless you are in front of them yelling and screaming for attention, then you just might not get it.
For example, in my situation, I’m a bit annoyed because I’ve been trying to get an appointment with “father” for a few days now, but after looking at the calendar and how busy the church is right now, I can kind of see why nobody has returned my voice mail. Tomorrow, I’m going to call the parish secretary and see how to get an appointment because I really do need to talk to the guy. I would have called today, but the staff was on the “parish fall retreat”. (groan!) Sometimes, it really is bad timing and not anything you did.
  1. some RCIA directors have an “open door” policy. Meaning you can join at anytime before Easter Vigil and still be confirmed/baptized, regardless of when you join the class.
This is how the director at my parish worked. We ended up getting a new person in December and another couple in the middle of January last year. I thought the door was a bit too open, but that’s not my judgment call.

Just be patient and let God work in your life. You will find the right parish and the right RCIA class. Good luck! Others have offered good advice.
 
BettinaAnamaria said:
I didn’t know the time or the place 🙂 I suppose I could have made a plan to hang out at the church all day long . . . but I think that would’ve been a bit, I dunno, uncouth. Maybe this is a good time to add that I have quite a bit of anxiety about even coming to Mass at this point, because I am so “green.” I don’t know any of the proper procedures, and that makes me feel really awkward. It was really a major production for me to go to Mass last night; it required a big self pep talk beforehand. Furthermore, due to a last-minute family emergency, I wasn’t even able to go to Mass at the parish I hope to join; I had to go to a later Mass at a different parish. See what I mean about roadblocks?
Click to expand...
I know exactly how you feel, I’ve been there before! Its sad but, while this a life changing, center of all your thoughts, super exciting time for us…its often just another start of another year of RCIA classes for the teachers and volunteers that do it every year…and its only one of their many commitments. Its not right but its common to see them drop the ball.

However, it doesn’t mean the class will be bad when you get in. Does the church have a website? I would check that to see about a time or place, or another contact number you can try. Also check the bulletin on the website or pick one up at a sunday mass.

If the church has office hours try going and talking to the secretary or priest. Try hunting down a deacon either after mass or look for contact info on the website or bulletin.

Hang in there and be proactive! Try to go to mass as much as possible, it will get easier! I tried to sit in the back and just followed everyone else, don’t worry no one will judge you if you look like you don’t know what you are doing…just remember that you cant receive the Eucharist.

Welcome to the journey! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions…or need some pep talk…Ive had that same mass anxiety and sometimes still do, but Ive learned a lot of things that help…most importantly pray before you go, pray while you are there, it really helps!
 
I just wanted to provide an update - the happy ending to the story, so to speak - since so many of you were kind enough to offer advice to me regarding my dilemma. I prayed, prayed, and prayed some more about this problem, and eventually got an answer to my prayers (actually, I have been receiving very clear answers to pretty much all of my prayers lately, but that is a subject for another thread 😉 ) in the form of two emails: one from the Father of the parish, and one from the secretary and teacher of the RCIA class. Between the two, I obtained all necessary forms, information, and reading assignments, and this morning was able to attend my very first class, on-time, fully-prepared, bright-eyed, and bushy-tailed! 👍 It was everything I hoped it would be, and I feel I have finally come home. Thanks to all of you for providing moral support while I was in-waiting; I have a million more questions, but I will save them for fresh threads in the appropriate forums 😉

Thank you thank you thank you! 🙂
 
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