Need Advice

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Jordan_J

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Hello!

I’ll cut to the chase.
I am 16, and have a girl that I really like. She is quite a bit older than me, and almost 19. I have liked her for almost a year now, and we are pretty good friends.

I know I’m one of her good friends, but I pretty much know for a fact that she has a better friend than me (who is a guy). She doesn’t consider this other friend anything more than a best friend, however.

If she was younger, I wouldn’t be worrying about telling her I like her now, since I am still pretty young, but since she is older, I’m worried she might move on in life, and it’ll be too late for me to say how I feel.

What should I do at my current age? Would it just be best to wait and see what happens?

Thanks! If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
 
Just enjoy being friends. You are still in high school and she is not. You may find that your desire to be more than friends will not be returned and all you will end up doing is ruining a good friendship.
 
Irishmom2 said:
Just enjoy being friends. You are still in high school and she is not. You may find that your desire to be more than friends will not be returned and all you will end up doing is ruining a good friendship.
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Thanks for the advice!
 
Irishmom2 said:
Just enjoy being friends. You are still in high school and she is not. You may find that your desire to be more than friends will not be returned and all you will end up doing is ruining a good friendship.
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Sometimes a good friendship is better than a chance at coupledom.

Let the attraction go; such things in HS are of necessity transitional anyhow. You have a lifetime ahead to “find someone.”

ICXC NIKA
 
GEddie said:
Sometimes a good friendship is better than a chance at coupledom.

Let the attraction go; such things in HS are of necessity transitional anyhow. You have a lifetime ahead to “find someone.”

ICXC NIKA
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Yeah, that’s true.
 
I’m sure you’ll get plenty of advice.

Best advice I can give - speak with your folks.

I’ll tell you what I think of my 16yo with a 19yo -

Age difference is not an issue in general, can’t be with me, my wife and I are 4 years different in age.

But state in life is a problem.

I would not be ok with my high-school kid running around a college campus.

I’d prefer she keep high school, in high school. So far so good!
 
ffg said:
I’m sure you’ll get plenty of advice.

Best advice I can give - speak with your folks.

I’ll tell you what I think of my 16yo with a 19yo -

Age difference is not an issue in general, can’t be with me, my wife and I are 4 years different in age.

But state in life is a problem.

I would not be ok with my high-school kid running around a college campus.

I’d prefer she keep high school, in high school. So far so good!
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Thanks, that’s a good idea.
 
MchaelPatrick said:
I have to ask…Didn’t you get enough advice when you asked last month?

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=1047816
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Well, from what people were saying there, a lot of them suggested that I ask her out, and get the moment over with. My reason for creating this thread is that I think I’m too young to be doing things like that, and probably should just wait, which is what I am asking about now. But yeah, I probably should have just continued it on the old one 🙂
 
Here is another thought.

The fact that you have to ask all of this might mean you are not ready to date someone that is not also 16…
 
Irishmom2 said:
Here is another thought.

The fact that you have to ask all of this might mean you are not ready to date someone that is not also 16…
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Yeah, I think I am just going to let life go as normal for now, and see what happens in the future.
 
For matters of the heart - only the very few who know you well, and have experience, are able to advise you.

For matters of the head - there is much more to consider. Friendships can last a lifetime. But if one is hoping (even secretly) to turn a friendship into a relationship, one really needs to use one’s head.

Few of us seriously consider the consequences of getting serious too soon in life.

What evidence is there that one is ready for a serious relationship?
What experience has one had in dating others? How serious were those encounters?
Where is one in his or her educational development?
Is a decent paying job on the immediate horizon, say within a year?

All of us hate to acknowledge that we can become fathers much sooner than we planned.

So **PRUDENCE **and FORESIGHT, and TEMPERANCE and FORTITUDE - the 4 Cardinal Virtues - are most important in sorting it all out.

And constant prayer for the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
 
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