Need advise on a situation involving cohabitation

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kbwall said:
Any additional advise would be appreciated.
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You have already received the best advise.

Stop sleeping together. And that is said meaning, stop having sex!!!

That is step one. Anything else is, well, gravy.
 
kbwall said:
Any additional advise would be appreciated.
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Is there a buddy you can move in with for free or just a small contribution? That way you can continue to help pay with the bills and not be so tempted.

Otherwise, you need to discuss this with your girlfriend and come to an agreement/arraignment to not put yourselves in the near occasion of sin. If she is unwilling to do this, then I think you have your answer and it is time to just move out.
 
kbwall said:
Please, I need advise for my situation. I do not desire your judgement, I am well aware I made a mistake and should not have gotten into this mess. But that’s not exactly going to help me.

A couple months ago, against my better judgement, I made the hasty decision to move in with my girlfriend. Now I am realizing the spiritual error of my action, and I feel horrible about it. I felt like I have contributed to the part of society that I loathe, and that I have cheapened the entire union of marriage, But I am too financially committed to pull out now, and I love my girlfriend.

We go 50/50 on the bills, and neither of us could afford to live here on our own. I can’t, in good conscience, just abandon her to take care of all these bills that I said I would take care of (if anybody moves out, it’ll be me, since she paid for more furniture and stuff than I did). Likewise, I can’t afford her bills in addition to whatever bills I would have to pay if I moved. And since it’s a one bedroom apartment, she is unlikely to get a roommate to help her. I wouldn’t want to do that to anybody, let alone my girlfriend. Staying with parents is not an option for either us; hers are deceased and mine are not only unbearable, but in a completely different city than where my work and school are, and I can’t afford that kind of gas. I feel financially stuck. But it is about a lot more than the money.

I also really do love her, and I want to marry her someday. I would go ahead and marry her ASAP, but she has financial situations to resolve before she can get married (this can take anywhere from a couple months to three years), so it’s going to be awhile before we get married. It seems impractical to have a relationship continue chastely after fornication has already occurred. She is the most serious girlfriend I have ever had, and I love her so much, and the thought of leaving brings me pain and stress. On the other hand though, I love God, and I know fornication is wrong.

I just don’t know where to begin to resolve these issues.
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You do know, though. Marry her. There’s no financial situation you two can’t work out together.
 
If it were me, I’d head down to the nearest Catholic Church and ask the priest for help finding some place to live for a couple of months. Maybe that means living in the rectory and cleaning it on the weekends for free. Or maybe there’s a couple in the parish that can put you up until your lease expires. The Church is invested in helping young people live chastely, and a good priest will be eager to help you start over. And, bonus! You can take the opportunity to make a good confession so you can start receiving Holy Communion again and receive the graces necessary to make some hard changes in your life.

Good luck.
 
kbwall said:
The lease is six months. I forgot what the penalty is for leaving, but it’s an additional couple hundred dollars. Also, the place isn’t all that expensive, in fact it’s one of the cheapest apartments in the city, we’re just poor college students barely raking in $1000 a month. Technically we could afford bills 100%, but that would leave no money left for things like food.

We lived on campus. Financial aid paid our way for that, so we effectively stayed there for free. Neither of us had summer courses, so with recent, tragic death of her parents, she had to find a way to live over the summer. My parents were having their own problems with their house and I feared they may be evicted again, which would leave me homeless if I stayed with them. She suggested moving in together and it seemed like such a great idea at the time.

Of course, I only realize my mistake now. After the time for signing up for a dorm has come and gone. All the dorms on campus are already taken/reserved by now.

Well, I can be almost certain she is not using me or is a gold digger. For one, I have very little gold to dig at, so if she was, she would’ve looked elsewhere a long time ago lol. For another thing, I know her personality well enough to know that she wouldn’t be fake nice to somebody just for financial gain.

**I have not voiced my concerns to her yet, simply because I am scared of what might happen. She is also a Christian (albeit not Catholic), and she wrestled with the idea of moving in together too. Unfortunately, any qualms she had with it seem to have settled as she is very happy to live with me now, and me opening up old wounds will likely not be pretty.

Despite being a Christian, she outright stated that she feels no guilt in having sex. She had a little guilt about moving in, but as I said, that has faded by now**.
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Again, you don’t know. You didn’t talk to her because “opening up old wounds will likely not be pretty”? You need to talk to her.
 
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