Need Direction

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DAK

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I’m not as knowledgable nor as devout as many here. I’m actually boozed right now. I’m sure that disgusts many here. My apologies - no offense meant. Just establishing a significant truth. I know a significant amount about the Catholic Faith and embrace it fully. I love the Tradition, depth and fullness that is fulfilled within Catholicism. I also believe that with the gifts God has given me, I should be evangelizing this Truth much more than I am.

I’m a huge sinner. I’m not proud to say that I’m currently living in mortal sin. Therein lies my problem, as I’m in mortal sin often, and yet, I feel responsible for spreading God’s word. It seems incongruent and paralyzes me. I firmly believe I have much to offer my fellow parishoners/friends/luke-warm Catholics, etc., but also believe it should come from a much more devout Catholic than I. But, am I being remiss in my obligation to evangelize the Truth of our faith, due to my continual faltering within it. I’ve been in my ArchDiocese Bible Study and have wanted to start an informal Bible Study for the past two years, but have found many excuses not to; Some founded, others not. There are many, many Catholics who need and desire additional knowledge of our Faith, but for various reasons do not engage.

I grew up Catholic, became Agnostic, then “born-again” Catholic in the past several years. Yet, I sin often. Not trivial and venial, but consciously. Still, even boozed, I know God has given me gifts that I should be using proactively, and could/should be doing now. But, I’m uncertain if it’s my “Catholic guilt” or laziness or something else that is preventing me from doing what should be done. How can a dirty vessel present Jesus properly? Yes, we’re all sinners, but we should all be striving to no longer sin. So, if you continue to sin unabatedly, then how did you truly confess and rebuke your sinful ways? Referring to the Bible, they all sinned no more. I continue to sin, without abatement it seems.

Anyway, I’m rambling… I apologize to all who’ve read the above. It was therapuetic (sp?) in itself. I only have one prayer that I try to pray daily if not more: I pray for the health and safety of my family. Then, I know it should be more prominent, but I pray that my children may know Jesus more fully and that I may be a good father in teaching them our Faith.

My prayer request: Take away my free will. Please. Just kick it out and let me do nothing but God’s will all the time. Just take away my ability to do wrong. Cause I choose it too often and it makes me sad. Very sad… I’d gladly give up free will if it were taken by God. That’s my request… Just stop me from me and let me do Your will. Cause I fail too often and it makes me cry. I’m sorry. Thanks.
 
I am glad you felt you could come here. You are loved by God and by your brothers and sisters here. We are all sinners and constantly seeking forgiveness and closeness with God, fall to sin often. We ask God’s forgiveness, pick ourselves up and try to do better, again and again.

I am sorry you are struggling and going through such trouble. We all go through trials at one time or another and some very difficult. Pray constantly and ask God to open your heart up so He can enter in. The sacrament of Penance is a good starting place, and by going there and confessing your sins, you are pledging yourself to sin no more because you love God so much you don’t want to hurt him any longer. We are encouraged to keep going no matter how bad the sins, or how often we commit them.

Your free will is a wonderful thing and it is good to have. God gave us this free will to either accept or reject His love. He wants us to come willingly and lovingly to Him, otherwise we are like robots. We need to show we love God by giving up what we selfishly desire in this life, and to do what He wants, because we love Him more than anything.

I will pray for you, that God will enter into your heart so you can love God with all your heart and soul. May God give you strength to have perseverance in prayer, and in doing what is good and holy.

The Rosary is a powerful prayer and was given to us by Mary so we should become closer to her Son.

Blessings
 
:gopray2: pray4peace’s answered you beautifully. Thank you for coming here for prayers, and for your honesty. We are all striving to be better Catholics. I will pray for you and your family. God bless you.
 
Your post was very moving and I think you need to talk to a priest, either in Confession or by appointment…and I too underscore what Pray4Peace has said. Your heart is troubled and not at Peace and probably wont be until you go to Confession. I read somewhere that saints are sinners who go on trying - dont give up and speak with a priest. We are all sinners, all of us, we differ only in kind and degree.

“Why is it that I continue to do the things I have made up my mind not to do?” (St. Paul)

“Burnt offering from you I would refuse,
but my eyes are drawn
to the person of humble and contrite heart”

Keeping you in prayer.

Blessings and Peace - Barb
 
Thank you all for your replies. I was chagrined this morning, debating whether I should attempt to remove my original post as I’m aware and humbled that my issues are minor compared to those who suffer much greater challenges.

Reading the replies, I wanted to express gratitude and heartfelt appreciation for your interaction with me. There’s so much that I’d like to convey right now, but believe I’ll be as succinct as possible and say thank you and will follow the advice given. I did noticeably feel God’s presence today and I’m certain it’s due to your prayers. I’ll refrain from the other 3 pages of thoughts I have, as I committed to not being wordy. 🙂

May you and yours experience God’s Peace at all times.

That’s in my prayers tonight.

Be Well.
Doug
 
O God, our help in time of need, Who are just and merciful, and Who inclines to the supplications of His people. Look down upon Doug and have mercy on and deliver Doug from the trouble that now besets him. Deal with us not according to our iniquities, but according to Your manifold mercies, for we are the works of Your hands, and You know our weaknesses. I pray to you to grant Doug Your divine helping grace, and endow him with patience and strength to endure hardships with complete submission to Your Will. Only You know our misery and sufferings, and to You, our only hope and refuge, he flees for relief and comfort, trusting in Your infinite love and compassion, that in due time, when You know best, You will deliver Doug from this trouble, and turn his distress into comfort. We then shall rejoice in Your mercy, and exalt and praise Your Holy Name, O Father, Son and Holy Spirit, both now and forever and to the ages of ages. Amen
 
Prayers :gopray2: Think of the many times Peter and Paul went wrong - both before and after they converted to Christ. His grace is sufficient for anything and anyone. There is always strength and hope in Him.
 
DAK said:
My prayer request: Take away my free will. Please. Just kick it out and let me do nothing but God’s will all the time. Just take away my ability to do wrong. Cause I choose it too often and it makes me sad. Very sad… I’d gladly give up free will if it were taken by God. That’s my request… Just stop me from me and let me do Your will. Cause I fail too often and it makes me cry. I’m sorry. Thanks.
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That’s a beautiful prayer. I pray that God grants you His will, so that you can live fully for Him.
 
Doug, may God richly bless you for your honesty, & for your courage in asking for prayer. I am praying for you, right now.:byzsoc:
 
Wow! It’s true what you say DAK. A lot of people are in the same situation as yourself. We are all sinners, we just in to ask for forgiveness. But also learn from our sins, and learn not to make them no more. I have been a catholic since birth, because of my family. But it seems like ever since I was a child we didn’t go to church. I started going when I was in my early teens with my younger brother and we loved it. Since I have been confirmed at 15 y/o. For some reason I stopped going to church. Now as an adult my fiance and I go, and some times we don’t feel like it but I feel that is the demons that doesn’t want us to go. Even though my fiance works weekends I go to church by myself. So, you also have to fight those demons and do what is right. I will be praying for you, and welcome to the forum. 🙂

God Bless,

Gladys

:harp:
 
May God Bless you all for your kind words and especially prayers.

I’m blessed and thankful.
 
When we loose our free will how can you choose God? You say you need direction, how about seeing a priest and explaining to him what you so easily described to us. I will pray not for you to loose your free will, but for you to gain from your own lesson. Peace be with you
 
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