Need Encouragement Please

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powerandglory

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Posting as I could use some encouragement. As I’ve said here before, I joined as I’m looking to come back to Catholicism if I can get over some of the mental struggles and then bring my marriage into the church. Most suggested I speak to a priest. I reached out to a couple to see if some spiritual direction was possible and was turned down, kindly, but turned down nevertheless. Generally, I’m a pretty self sufficient person and asking for help in any way is very difficult for me. I dont want to have to keep asking, especially when it involves things that are so personal.
I’m ok reading and being my own teacher for now. I know that prayer and time with God has value no matter where we are in relation to him, and with that in mind I’ve been praying and even attending mass as often as possible.
That being said, I feel very discouraged. Deciding to try to return to the church meant a big lifestyle change for me. Every friend I had I knew through our shared occult practices. I could control my day, my life, with these practices and to put them down meant handing my life back to a God I could barely see or understand. When I walked away from the people I socialized with and those occult practices, I walked away from security and into a struggle.
I feel lost and without clear direction. I’m hoping for some encouragement and prayers here because I’m so tempted to return to the old life.
 
I’m sorry you weren’t able to find a priest to discuss your situation with. I would suggest that you contact your Diocese and see if they can refer you to a spiritual director who might be able to help you with your specific situation. It seems like, given your situation, you might need a priest with particular skills or knowledge. I will pray for you.
 
What do you mean by “reached out”… a phone call, or an email? And what do you mean by “some spiritual direction”?

I would suggest making an appointment to speak to a priest, not necessarily asking him to be your spiritual director but just a one time appointment. You may also want to consider joining a local parish. I would imagine that parishioners take priority in a priest’s schedule. He may want to know you are serious about what you’re doing, and you’re not just calling on a whim (not saying you are).

Also, go to confession. You can bring up one thing at a time there, you’re most pressing issue. Priests don’t want the confessional to be a therapy session, but he may give you some general advice where you need it the most.
 
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It sounds like youre feeling down because you’ve lost your family in a way. You’re right. God didn’t make us to be alone. We’re not wired for it. None of us. It’s only natural you’d feel this way now.

You’re doing a really great thing with Gods help!! The greatest thing any of us can do, to come home to Him.

I’m not a self sufficient person. But I am an anxious one. So, I also have a very hard time asking for help. & Who wants to make themselves vunerable over and over again when they’re already overwhelmed in a way??

I can tell you what helped me. Pray about it.
I googled catholic churches near me. I looked at their websites and the pictures they had of their sanctuary and staff. I even read the reviews for the parishes on google! I found one that seemed nice. The sanctuary was inviting. The priest’s smile was warm. And they had a church offive phone number listed.

I started going when I could. And eventually, with encouragement from people on here, I called the office and set up an appt with the priest. This is his calling in life. He wont turn you away. He hears everything imaginable in confessions. & I went.

I wasn’t very optimistic, but I went. And we ended up having an hour+ long conversation about just about anything that entered my mind. It was like a counseling session, but for my soul. I didn’t even know what to ask and questions were answered. Very laid back.

You must replace that lost community and that lost structure. God made you with this need, which is a big reason he made a church on earth for you too! And you cant do that alone. The first big step is talking to your shepherd on earth. He can introduce you to people ready to help and ways to get to know your flock. We’re not solitary animals. None of us can do this on our own.

You’re doing exactly what you need already… Reaching out. Welcome home!
 
Thank you so much! It’s really encouraging to hear others who’ve been in a similar circumstance! Yes, it’s not so much that I can’t find a priest for guidance right off the bat, but losing my safety net when I walked away from that other way of life, that has left me feeling this way.
 
One other thing to keep in mind is that many of us lost our security in some way.
I know in my case, I had to give up some bad relationships years ago, and I then lost the healthy, reliable relationships I had in my life to death.
I used to really rely on all these relationships (the bad and the good both) to just get through my day without imploding from anxiety, worry and stress.

Now, I turn to Jesus because I have no one else. Jesus and I have to get through each day one at a time. His mom and the saints help.

There are a lot of us in that situation. I sometimes think Jesus does these things to show us that he is all we need. He takes a lot of things away. I often wish I had not even bothered to have the relationships or whateve in the first place so I would not have to go through the pain of separation, but it seems like God had other ideas.
In the end, God is the only security you will ever have.
 
The best place to find Spiritual Direction is to contact the Diocese. Google “my city state Catholic Diocese” and ask to speak to the Family Life or the Religious Education office. They will get you to the right people. Another place is a local convent or monastery.
 
You are right that you have lost a family. We are not meant to be alone, as has been said. I would suggest you increase your time with people as well as with God. There are many ways to connect with God. You can listen to inspirational music, you can pray standard prayers or make up your own, you can take a long drive and marvel at the beauty that the Lord has made in our Earth, etc. These are all great ways to love the Lord, and I’m sure that you are trying many of them. I encourage you to continue! In addition to this, you may also want to increase your Catholic activities. We all need activities, and people, to fill our lives. The activities and people we choose very often influence how we live our lives. So, include more Catholic activities and more Catholic activities in your life to replace what you’ve lost. Have you considered volunteering? I’m sure a local parish needs help with reading at Mass, Eucharistic minister, teaching CCD, stocking and serving at the food pantry, etc. Most parishes also have scheduled book groups , prayer groups, apostolates, etc. Of course, finding a spiritual director is also very advantageous, however there’s a shortage of priests to begin with and it can be hard to find one. In the meantime, try some spiritual reading. My interests are probably different from yours, but spiritual reading that was really helpful for me included Story of a Soul by St. Therese and Confessions by St Augustine. When I first entered the church, I also enjoyed the book Ehy Do Catholics Do That. I’ve also found books by Peter Kreeft, Scott Hahn and Benedict Groeschel to be excellent guidance. The television station, EWTN, runs 24 hour Catholic programming and there is an EWTN app that you can download on your phone which includes many pre-recorded television and radio shows. I particularly like Father Spitzer’s Universe, as well as Called to Communion and Morning Glory. And, of course, there’s Catholic Answers Forums. So my suggestion to you would be to surround yourself with Catholic people, things and activities that keep you fulfilled and learning about your faith. In this way, you will replace occult practices with Catholic practices which will grow your soul and lead you to live a full life in His will and through His teachings. It’s a great thing you’re doing that will lead you away from death and into life!
 
Please pray for faith, hope, and love. Also, pray to be against temptation.
 
Occult practices? Oh my, those are terrible things to be involved in. You had no security with anyone whom you knew, you were all heading to a bad place. When I returned to the Church I just started going to Mass regularly and asking God to help me every day. I was single and I was going through some tough times, but God always let me know He really existed. Please do not return to the dark side, stay in the light. The words in the Scriptures are true - seek God first and then everything will be given to you.
 
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