My grandpa once said to me " I can have a family reunion in a phone booth." I’m now 53 and boy does what he said hit home. I no longer have grandparents, a father, or even many aunts and uncles. My wife and I even lost a child due to a miscarriage. For me, I think with age you see death so much you get conditioned to the fear, it just becomes a natural part of life. When I was younger I wanted to live as long as Moses, but as I’ve gotten older I realize maybe that’s not such a grand idea after all lol. My everything hurts from years of hard work, I grow tired of fighting the same battles with sin, there is indeed a reason they call it resting in peace. There just comes a point of transition, a surrendering to our Lord, here i am Lord.
And just look at you, your fear made you turn to the Lord, not run away from Him. He gave you a cross because He loves you and knew it would draw you to Him. John 6:44 is for you…
“No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day.”
Try and see your fear as a gift from the Lord, embrace it and grow in your relationship with Christ. May God bless and keep you!