Need Some Help

[theox]

My wife and I have been married for 6 years. When we were married, I was not a practicing Catholic (although I was baptized one) She was Baptist. We compromised and became Epsicopal. Neither of us we happy, and we quit going to church altogether. I am now ready to return to Catholicism and we are in the process o getting our marriage validated.

But, as you might expect, there are some sticking points. Her main question is: Why would you choose a faith that excludes me? This is very hurtful to her and she doesn’t understand that I didn’t choose this, but this what I believe. She is upset that she is not allowed to take Communion, that the Catholic Church is excluding a fellow Christian. I have tried explaining, but my own meager knowledge (which I am working diligently to expand) is not adequate to the task. She wants to know where all these “extra Catholic things” (meaning Doctrine) come from. I told her they are all based in Scripture and in Church Tradition, but she isn’t having it.

I don’t know what to do. She refuses to read any books I offer and doesn’t want to talk to a priest for fear we will “gang up” on her. How can I communicate the fullness and beauty of the Catholic faith?

PS: She was accepting at first of the validation, but I’m not sure she will continue now. She knows this prevents me from taking part in the Eucharist. I am at a loss.

 

[monicatholic]

How can I communicate the fullness and beauty of the Catholic faith?

by showing her that catholicism has made you a better person,. a better husband, a better employee, neighbor and if you have kids-- a better dad.

more thoughts in no particular order (it’s very late…)

*if she will not validate, have you considered living chastely so you can receive the Eucharist? your first vocation is to holiness, your next vocation is as a husband.

*your faith does NOT exclude her-- in fact as Catholic (meaning open to the whole world-- universal) your faith invites her more profoundly, more sincerely and more lovingly than any other faith. if she is excluded, it’s by her own free will.

*you may lovingly observe that your wife’s willingness to become episcopalian but emphatically NOT catholic demonstrates a bigotry that is unbecoming, unnecessary and unwarranted.

• never argue doctrine or merits. pray. i’m married to an ex-evangelical who swore he would never be catholic. when he converted (on the astonishing strength of John 6-- he wondered what he’d ever made of those passages before in his bible-believing evangelical days…) he became a sincere and dedicated catholic. these 14 years of his catholicism have been so blessed and increasingly happy.
• if you don’t have kids, this conflict may be a grave reason to avoid pregnancy just now.
• never argue. pray. if she won’t read books or pamphlets you offer her as a response, then offer nothing more but your actions.
• never argue. pray.

 

[LSK]

How about, when she asks a question, coming onto this site and finding the answer. Then download it, take it to her and say, “Look, honey! I found the answer to the question you asked!” and reading it together…then you both learn at the same time.

I would also be relentlessly cheerful and tell her that you are assuming that she asks these questions because she wants to know and not because she is trying to keep you from the Eucharist.

You are in my prayers…hang in there!