Need some prayers over separation

[Mblusih]

My husband of 26 years has been going through some mental health challenges. He hasn’t been himself since March last year. He went through a deep depression and it turned into him being angry at everything. He has been telling me for months that he feels he just needs time alone to clear his head. I’ve encouraged him to see a doctor and he hasn’t. He refuses to go on medication. He decided to rent an apartment a couple of hours away. He says it is temporary and he has reassured me he loves me. He left Thursday. He has been seeing a therapist and a spiritual advisor. I really am still in shock. We’ve never had children and I am alone. I’m trying to stay positive. I hope with some time he will see that he really needs more than therapy. I’m just really struggling right now. I need strength.

 

[Psalm30]

I’m sorry this is happening in your marriage.

I have depression, so I’ll try to give you some insight into things from the perspective of the mentally ill spouse. Depression is a cross, both for the person who is directly afflicted and for the spouse. There are times when I get into depressive episodes and it’s as if I am literally unable to think a single positive thought. I love my husband very much, but when I get into these episodes, I have in the past said horrible things to him that I wish I could take back. I’ve since learned to recognize when an episode is flaring up, and I’m able to say, “I’m having a hard time right now. I’m going to go in the other room for a bit and calm down.” Then I return after the episode has let up a bit. It’s gone through my mind a great many times that I’d like to go somewhere for even just a couple days and be away from everyone so I can clear my head. Mental illness is exhausting and I do need alone time (which is a rarity with a husband and two kids). It doesn’t mean I don’t love my husband or my kids, it really is necessary sometimes to just be alone.

I guess the point I’m trying to make is that I believe your husband does indeed love you, even though he needs some time away. I realize that doesn’t make being separated from him easier. It’s just that needing to be away likely doesn’t have anything to do with you or whether or not he loves you.

 

[Inthesunshine]

Hang in there. My prayers are with you.

All I can say is that at least he has decided to take your advice and seek counseling. Maybe with time and patience this will bring healing. You have also picked up the cross by sharing in this difficulty. As someone also going through a separation, I know it is not easy. Don’t forget to take care of yourself and be patient with yourself during this time.