Need suggestions for inactive 7yr. old

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dizzy_dave

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We have four children and the oldest boy is 7 years old. He does not want to play like the other kids do. Every time we turn around he is sitting around watching T.V. We are constantly telling him to go play. We don’t like our kids watching too much T.V. When he goes outside he just sits there. We have to force him to get up and do something. The only thing he seems to do is talk alot or sneak and watch cartoons. Has anybody else been through this situation or have any ideas on what we can do for him. We just don’t think this is right. Thank you and God bless!
 
Some kids are more passive, and/or not very god at unstructured play. Does he have a bike, scooter, rollerblades? Have him ride his bike up and down the street a few times. Are there kids in your neighborhood his age that he gets along with? Encourage him to run around with them. Sign him up for swimming lessons at your local pool, or soccer, or baseball. The command “Go play” may leave him all :confused: :bigyikes:. He may be more reponsive to lets go to the pool and swim a few laps. Or practice his kick in the yard.
 
I am a little biased here, but get him into martial arts! They do so much wonderful stuff for kids in addition to the physical exercise they receive.
 
Turn off the TV! That might not get to the heart of the problem, but having it playing is just enabling him. If you can’t get rid of the thing, set strict TV hours and limits.

I grew up (happily) without TV, but I know as a 7 year old, I would have chosen it over outdoor activities any day. I wasn’t given that option!
 
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dizzy_dave:
We have four children and the oldest boy is 7 years old. He does not want to play like the other kids do…The only thing he seems to do is talk alot or sneak and watch cartoons. Has anybody else been through this situation or have any ideas on what we can do for him. We just don’t think this is right. Thank you and God bless!
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I have no children. I’m thinking…maybe he’s bored. Since he likes to talk alot, how about enrolling him in an activity that will allowing him to use communication skills - team sports - maybe he becomes team captain.

I am curious. What does he talk about?

I assume this is happening at home. So there’s no concern for the environment.

And is he not getting up to play because he’s just had lunch and needs time for the food to digest?

Have you ever asked him what his fasination with cartoons is?
 
I bought our son a pool, just a small 3’x12’ pool ($98 Walmart special) but now he would rather play in the water than watch T.V.
 
Does your local library have a summer reading program?

My kids are older, but they’re busy winning prizes by reading books.
 
Please don’t take this as criticism or an attack on your parenting skills, but more just some things to think about and maybe your answers don’t fit. but…

4 children and the oldest is 7…wow, you guys have your hands full. I can just imagine how busy your household must be just to get through the machanics of life.

It is *possible * (and here is were you can decide my suggestions don’t fit) that your older son is being left to his own devices while you and your wife are busy with the younger children? Does the family do lots of group activities that are geared to the younger ones and he is bored? Does he get much chance to do stuff with kids his own age? Does he get to do 7 year old stuff with the parents?

7 year olds are starting to want to increase their social circle and make friends outside the family. Some kids are better with structured situations. Can you brainstorm with him activities that he might like to pursue…martial arts is awesome. Is he more athetic…soccer, t ball, swim team and the like. If he is a talker, would he enjoy dramatics, maybe children’s theater. If he likes cartoons, is he artistic? Would he enjoy animation or drawing?

Its possible he could need help to give him some direction. Some kids can “go out and play” and you don’t see them all day. He may just need some help.

Just some ideas…like I said they could all miss the mark.

Arlene
 
Do you have a local parks and rec or YMCA??? Or how about those trampolines with the net around them???
 
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tkdnick:
I am a little biased here, but get him into martial arts! They do so much wonderful stuff for kids in addition to the physical exercise they receive.
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I agree 100%. My son and I train TKD and my daughter who is not of age yet loves TKD also. Try and make it a family thing. Maybe your child needs to be challenged. He may be a very bright kid but nothing that he does is challenging. Sign him up for martial arts because it will challenge him physically and mentally. As parents why don’t you all sign up for martial arts. Do it as a family maybe that will work. 👍
 
My 7yo daughter is similar, although since we restrict her to PBS only she gets bored with it quicker. Although now she’s discovered computer games, so we are having to put restrictions on her computer use.

I used to think my 7yo was lazy or maybe she didn’t like to run because she seemed clumsy, but then we discovered that she actually fell down a lot because her legs are growing crooked! Poor girl! So she will have surgery this fall to correct it and hopefully by next year she will be able to run better and participate in sports more. It’s a very slim chance your son has this problem too, but it’s worth looking at if your son’s legs seem “knock-kneed.” (They won’t line up straight if his ankles are touching.)

My daughter liked taekwondo when we lived in an area close to a dojang (school). It’s good exercise but check out the instructors carefully.

The other thing of course is that you could lock up the TV and computer for the summer, although this may inconvenience the rest of the family. Or put your son on a schedule for media. Like he could earn 30 minutes of TV time by taking the dog for a walk, or playing with his younger siblings outside for equal (or greater) time. We currently have a 30 minute limit for our 7yo for computer and cartoons only in the a.m. before breakfast. For summer vacation, this is fine. During school, we limit to one or two shows after school OR 30 minutes computer time.

My 7yo is definitely more interested in media than her sisters. My 5yo has rarely if ever asked to put on a video or watch TV. She is just by nature more social and active (and physically you can see that–she is a string bean whereas my 7yo is plumper, always has been). But kids go through stages where they are fascinated by stuff. My 2yo likes certain videos and couldn’t care less about toys. She only likes to play outside and jump on things. Much more physical then both of the other two combined!
 
lock up the TV, have a pre-set time for viewing, give kids turns for picking the show, perhaps one hour a day or less, the rest of the time TV is OFF (unless dad wants to watch a game). Also put computer off limits unless they are actually doing school work and always monitor computer use. Grandson has to be dragged kicking and screaming away from the computer. Also limit time with video games, and dad keeps the controls.

martial arts is a good idea, also gymnastics, swimming, some of the sports where an individual tries to increase his best performance, rather than competitive team sports.

we had a rule that each kid had to do one active sport and one other activity each school year, i.e., gymnastics plus scouts, or volleyball plus band.

how active are you, your wife and the other kids, there is great dad-kid quality time throwing a ball around, riding bikes, walk around the block, cleaning the yard together etc.

would he be interested in gardening? grandkids take care of a garden plot, started when oldest was 3, they each have jobs to do in the garden each week, and surprise, surprise, actually eat the vegetables they raise.

also don’t make their room so plush they love to hang out there, no TV, etc., have the kids play outside after school and start homework later, they need the exercise, after a healthy snack. Ideally they should by outside until it starts to get dark.

the last issue of either RD or Prevention had parent-kids outdoor exercises to do together to get kids moving.

we stopped buying toys for them, and contribute to one outdoor item a year, the first year a climbing gym, then little tykes slide, last year a trampoline which they use a lot.

DD got that dance pad thing for exercise, the kids like it so much she had to order another one for them.
 
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tkdnick:
I am a little biased here, but get him into martial arts! They do so much wonderful stuff for kids in addition to the physical exercise they receive.
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Couldn’t agree with this more. 👍 👍 I signed my 2 boys up nearly a year ago, and it’s been one of the best things we could have done. It’s only 40 minutes a day, but they use a burn of energy in those 40 minutes. My home is SO much mellower in the evenings after they’ve been to class. It has also had other benefits - confidence, self-control, etc - different benefits for each kid.
 
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tkdnick:
I am a little biased here, but get him into martial arts! They do so much wonderful stuff for kids in addition to the physical exercise they receive.
Click to expand...
That was my first thought! 👍
 
Did you try unplugging the TV and taking him by the hand and going outside? He is watching TV because YOU allow it.
~ Kathy ~
 
I will second the advice from two others:

1- Unplug the TV
2- Get him into martial arts
My father started me in martial arts when I was 5yo. Besides physical activity, it taught me many lessons that I carry with me and apply to my life everyday.
 
Let him choose 1-one hour show or 2-half hour shows(provided you approve of them) and that’s it for the day. By completely taking away the TV will not really work. You’ll just end up in a back and forth struggle. Get inexpensive yard toys, although a little late in the year, have him even plant his own garden (my son when he was young was so proud of “his” tomatoes) Someone also suggested a pool. We have a small 4ft-12 ft diameter that the kids loved, with a safety ladder to keep babies and toddlers out (in fact it was the best investment–the pool is going on 15 years now.) Also if you can, put the little ones in strollers and go for a family walk. He will get fresh air and exercise and everyone could benefit. My children, now grown, I miss those walks, but when We get the grandkids,:love: out comes the strollers:thumbsup:
 
kaymart beat me to the Family walk suggestion, but it’s a good one.

I second trampolines, pools, and playing catch. My son and dh play catch all the time—great dad/son time and my son is now good enough to be playing tournament ball.

I’d limit TV to 1 or 2 shows a day, but ONLY after chores are done—make sure he has 3-4 daily chores to do. Also, my kids can only do sitting around stuff (i.e. computer, TV, PS2) for 30-45 mins. at a time, then they have to take an “activity break” for and 1-2 hours–even if they have friends over.

How old is the next sibling? Make sure they have a few board games or other activities that they can do together. It increases sibling relationships and gets them away from the TV!!!
 
Definitely limit the TV- maybe an hour of morning cartoons and an hour after dinner. Unplug it otherwise. The martial arts suggestion was also good- my husband did that as a child and loved it so much that he’s recently joined another dojo.

If he’s not the martial arts type, see if your community has a daycamp at a park or something (I did this for a couple of summers and it was fun). Also make sure that you have stuff geared to a 7-year-old. Duplo blocks and Hot Wheels trikes aren’t going to interest him. A “big-kid” bike (as long as he knows how to ride it) or scooter will likely be popular. I was the most unathletic kid possible, and I still loved to spend hours on my bike. A pool was another good idea. The 3-ft. deep inflatable ones are fairly inexpensive, and several families in my neighborhood have them and enjoy them.

Someone else mentioned gardening- I loved to do that as a kid. It’s satisfying to watch something you planted grow massively and produce food for the family, plus a child is more likely to try a new veggie if he or she has grown it.

And- set up a reading area in a shady part of the yard and make frequent trips to the library. Those were always like mini field-trips for me when I was younger (actually they still are).
 
No child ever died from TV deprivation.

Put your TV away; take it out only for special occasion shows. Or use it as a positive reinforcement / reward.

Does your child / children see you being active?

Sloth and gluttony(of TV) are real vices that kids need to be steered away from, starting young.

Can you plug him into the local library instead? Reading all day might not give him exercise, but the benefits of reading are a thousand times better for him, now and in the long run.

Good luck!
 
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