Need suggestions on a penance

[esieffe]

Hi, I need to do a penance over a sin, for myself and to make good with the Lord. I need suggestions on how to craft a note to a department manager who was incredibly rude to me.

I have two jobs, my part time job is at a grocery store, and I work in produce. If I am called in to offer non-scheduled help, the Kronos time clock will not allow me to log in without an override from a supervisor.

The front end supervisors [Head Cashier or front end manager over the cashiers] have a beef about this, and give attitude about having to accommodate this rule. This sets the stage for conflict against departments. This rule is in place so people wont clock in and steal time, and suggestions on improvements or changing the “culture” of this store are not well received.

Yesterday, I was asked to come in, and I simply went to the intercom and paged a manager or supervisor for a time clock override. The front end manager, whom I refer to as Mortisha Adams, as I don’t know her name and they look much alike, had a cow after I did this and chastised me in front of customers. She said paging someone for this was not allowed.

The HEAD store manager said it was fine. I told her this and she chastised me again and said the manager would not have said this. I just turned around and walked off.

I don’t get angry very easily, but this time, I was furious due to the public humiliation. I repeated the story to several people to vent, I would have even complained to the vegetables, if I thought it would have done any good.

I am still mad, yet last night I prayed for her in earnest, yet this morning my co-manager called me over something he wanted me to do tonight… and I complained again.

At this point I think I have sinned over all of this, and am considering writing her a note, not because I fear losing my job, she has no authority over me, but I am sure she is fussing over me as she is a poorly trained manager, rather I want to do the right thing by God and our Lord, I think this might defuse my anger and hers, promoting harmony instead of hatred and anger. I thought I would write her a note, but it will defeat the true purpose and intentions if she thinks I am doing it out of fear. It’s a minimum wage job, it is not fear, LOL.

Sorry this is so long.
Your thoughts, prayers and suggestions are most welcome. Thanks

 

[the_phoenix]

Pray for her.

 

[Jon_S_1]

Hi, I need to do a penance over a sin, for myself and to make good with the Lord. I need suggestions on how to craft a note to a department manager who was incredibly rude to me.

I have two jobs, my part time job is at a grocery store, and I work in produce. If I am called in to offer non-scheduled help, the Kronos time clock will not allow me to log in without an override from a supervisor.

The front end supervisors [Head Cashier or front end manager over the cashiers] have a beef about this, and give attitude about having to accommodate this rule. This sets the stage for conflict against departments. This rule is in place so people wont clock in and steal time, and suggestions on improvements or changing the “culture” of this store are not well received.

Yesterday, I was asked to come in, and I simply went to the intercom and paged a manager or supervisor for a time clock override. The front end manager, whom I refer to as Mortisha Adams, as I don’t know her name and they look much alike, had a cow after I did this and chastised me in front of customers. She said paging someone for this was not allowed.

The HEAD store manager said it was fine. I told her this and she chastised me again and said the manager would not have said this. I just turned around and walked off.

I don’t get angry very easily, but this time, I was furious due to the public humiliation. I repeated the story to several people to vent, I would have even complained to the vegetables, if I thought it would have done any good.

I am still mad, yet last night I prayed for her in earnest, yet this morning my co-manager called me over something he wanted me to do tonight… and I complained again.

At this point I think I have sinned over all of this, and am considering writing her a note, not because I fear losing my job, she has no authority over me, but I am sure she is fussing over me as she is a poorly trained manager, rather I want to do the right thing by God and our Lord, I think this might defuse my anger and hers, promoting harmony instead of hatred and anger. I thought I would write her a note, but it will defeat the true purpose and intentions if she thinks I am doing it out of fear. It’s a minimum wage job, it is not fear, LOL.

Sorry this is so long.
Your thoughts, prayers and suggestions are most welcome. Thanks

My opinion would be to just apologize to this person in person verbally. It’s simpler and generally received better.

Praying for you.

 

[pianistclare]

My opinion would be to just apologize to this person in person verbally. It’s simpler and generally received better.

Praying for you.

Agreed. She does have power over you. If she says you are doing something she doesn’t like you don’t have to like it, but you have to accept it. I worked for years in a grocery chain (during college). I was always asked to work late at night because I could run the front end without calling for help constantly, like the flirty cashiers did. They liked having the guys stop what they were doing in the back to run up and open another register and then get to talk to them. The guys quickly saw through this, and didn’t schedule them. So, I had to work awful hours because others couldn’t get the job done. But they were “cute” so they got away with it. Here’s my point: the silver lining was that I made much more money than they did. They always asked to go home if it was slow, but were always disappointed on payday. Meantime, I made bank.
You get to work extra hours, be glad. And using the intercom for personal (although work-related) assistance is indeed a no-no. Just walk up to the boss and ask.
In the meantime, just say: “sorry I used the intercom the other day…I’ll remember from now on.” It wasn’t right for her to yell at you in front of customers. But they’re not stupid. She probably looked like a bad manager in their eyes. that’s her problem. She doesn’t sound like the sort that will respond well to a note. Face-to-face. Just like she spoke to you, only way nicer.
Peace.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

Some time when Mortisha isn’t throwing an obvious tantrum about anything, approach her and ask if she has time.

Do not accuse her of wrongdoing.

Say how you felt when she did it, and why. But do NOT say you felt that way “because” she did it; just “when” she did it. The difference is huge. The first one is blaming.

And do not use any terminology that increases it, but only recalls the incident.

Say, “Mortisha when you have a couple of moments I have a training question to discuss.”

Then when she does make time, use the “I feel X when you did Y because Z” formula, like I said, do not say “I feel X because you did Y” or you will be worse off than having said nothing.

“Mortisha, the other day when I paged you and it upset you, I felt confused because I thought I required your approval to sign in to work, when I’m not scheduled. What should I have done instead?”

And if there is no right answer, or if she throws a tantrum, then you may have more on your hands than you can hope to change. If the workplace environment is oppressive and those in charge are feuding among each other, then really about all you can do unless you are good a changing ingrained cultures of negativism (which excludes most of us except God) is keep your head down, do you best, and either get used to it or seek another job.

 

[esieffe]

Sage and kind advice, thank you everyone!

 

[tawny]

Some time when Mortisha isn’t throwing an obvious tantrum about anything, approach her and ask if she has time.

Do not accuse her of wrongdoing.

Say how you felt when she did it, and why. But do NOT say you felt that way “because” she did it; just “when” she did it. The difference is huge. The first one is blaming.

And do not use any terminology that increases it, but only recalls the incident.

Say, “Mortisha when you have a couple of moments I have a training question to discuss.”

Then when she does make time, use the “I feel X when you did Y because Z” formula, like I said, do not say “I feel X because you did Y” or you will be worse off than having said nothing.

“Mortisha, the other day when I paged you and it upset you, I felt confused because I thought I required your approval to sign in to work, when I’m not scheduled. What should I have done instead?”

And if there is no right answer, or if she throws a tantrum, then you may have more on your hands than you can hope to change. If the workplace environment is oppressive and those in charge are feuding among each other, then really about all you can do unless you are good a changing ingrained cultures of negativism (which excludes most of us except God) is keep your head down, do you best, and either get used to it or seek another job.

Well stated.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Well, I think Mortisha is correct.

You should not use the store intercom for issues between employee and manager.

The intercom is for servicing customers and calling a manager when that service is required.

In all, it’s your ego that is hurting. So, you need to get into the present and stop dwelling on the past.

An apology to Mortisha would be good for your position at work and good for your own peace of mind. If she refuses the apology, it’s then becomes her problem.

Whether this is a sin or not is difficult, because the rules between Mortisha and store manager aren’t clear.

The only sin would be to hate Mortisha and refuse to see her as a person.

In all, pray and go to confession and discus it with a priest. That is penance in itself.

But learn to quiet the ego by being mindful of being in the present. The ego will dwell on the past, and try to make plans in the future for it’s own build up. In the present, it has no where to go and being in the present is where reality is, not what your ego will convince you of.

Jim

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

Whether this is a sin or not is difficult, because the rules between Mortisha and store manager aren’t clear.

Yes, this was the part that most concerns me. Having unclear directions, and especially having conflicting orders from two bosses. I’ve had bosses that play their underlings against each other for executive display, and it can be very hard to even tread water in that situation, much less win.

If nothing else, having an employment contract with a company implies that they give you clear instructions about what you are expected to do. If they are unclear, then it isn’t that you have a bad attitude (you may have but not necessarily) but that you need to know what you are supposed to be doing for your pay.

I used to go into a particular Wal-Mart at early morning hours, and with only a few customers, at like 5 in the morning, they had this one manager who would just go off about the employees and about how they need to shape up and even specific items they need to cover in a meeting. That was all over the loudspeaker. I was shocked and amazed; the employees learned to take it in stride, which was both sad and good for them, because plenty of other people had apparently complained and it was still going on.

 

[glendab]

Go to Confession and ask your Priest for Penance and do it. Pretty simple if you ask me. Extra penance can be any and all prayers you do. it can also be all your daily tasks if offered up as such. Try fasting or abstinence and see if that helps. For instance, offer up your distaste for Mortisha when you punch in as a penance for her sins as well as yours. Might give new meaning to her toxic rub on your personality and smile at her every time you see her in a penitential spirit. If anything, it will drive her nuts knowing she can’t blow your cool.

Glenda

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

If it continues to happen, stop coming in when they call you to come in and explain why. This is actually workplace harassment.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

This is actually workplace harassment.

:sad_yes:

 

[janiruchan]

In my case in prayer…I complain to God first. I tell him all of my anger. I think you know what would be best in that situation…For instance, If the person is more open (no pride issue) it would be best to talk to her…However if the person has a soft spot (but has some pride issue) maybe a letter will do…If none of the above, I believe prayers are enough.

One way to lessen ones anger is to think of what the other person is going through as well. May be you have been the perfect lamb to vent out her anger/anxieties… God allowed it to so you could intercede for her. I believe as well, God is teaching you humility and dying to oneself.

Everytime I’m put into such situations, I’d honestly react badly…and I’d remember how Jesus reacted when he was put to shame, mocked etc…and I’d see I’m far from the Lord.
I believe really that this is grace for you—to be like the Master…to share in His insults. I mean I’m not romanticizing anything, but this is one of the hardcore ways to show love despite humiliations.

I am in an abusive company…but God adjusted things slowly for me to work well. If we couldn’t change things, God will.

 

[ClearWater]

Hi, I need to do a penance over a sin, for myself and to make good with the Lord. I need suggestions on how to craft a note to a department manager who was incredibly rude to me.

I have two jobs, my part time job is at a grocery store, and I work in produce. If I am called in to offer non-scheduled help, the Kronos time clock will not allow me to log in without an override from a supervisor.

The front end supervisors [Head Cashier or front end manager over the cashiers] have a beef about this, and give attitude about having to accommodate this rule. This sets the stage for conflict against departments. This rule is in place so people wont clock in and steal time, and suggestions on improvements or changing the “culture” of this store are not well received.

Yesterday, I was asked to come in, and I simply went to the intercom and paged a manager or supervisor for a time clock override. The front end manager, whom I refer to as Mortisha Adams, as I don’t know her name and they look much alike, had a cow after I did this and chastised me in front of customers. She said paging someone for this was not allowed.

The HEAD store manager said it was fine. I told her this and she chastised me again and said the manager would not have said this. I just turned around and walked off.

I don’t get angry very easily, but this time, I was furious due to the public humiliation. I repeated the story to several people to vent, I would have even complained to the vegetables, if I thought it would have done any good.

I am still mad, yet last night I prayed for her in earnest, yet this morning my co-manager called me over something he wanted me to do tonight… and I complained again.

At this point I think I have sinned over all of this, and am considering writing her a note, not because I fear losing my job, she has no authority over me, but I am sure she is fussing over me as she is a poorly trained manager, rather I want to do the right thing by God and our Lord, I think this might defuse my anger and hers, promoting harmony instead of hatred and anger. I thought I would write her a note, but it will defeat the true purpose and intentions if she thinks I am doing it out of fear. It’s a minimum wage job, it is not fear, LOL.

Sorry this is so long.
Your thoughts, prayers and suggestions are most welcome. Thanks

That must be hard.

Still, I don´t think a letter of apology would work. First of all, you would need to be sorry or have something to be sorry for, and you don´t, and you’re not.

Until you do, I’d suggest not writing a letter you don´t really mean, because it will probably only come across as insincere.

I’d just say to try to let this one go.

Can you start looking for another job if that’s what it’s going to be like?

 

[ClearWater]

But if you are serious about penance…stop referring to her as “Mortisha”. On some level, if you are thinking in this line, it will somehow leak out, if no other way, then through your body language.

How do the other seasoned, experienced, veteran workers, handle that situation?

I’ve never worked in that line of work, so I’d be at a loss, as well. If you can´t do as you tried, what ARE you supposed to do?

You say you don´t care about this job. Are you sure about that?

I would recommend trying hard, easier said than done, not letting on how unhappy you are…till you can at least line up another job, first.

Even when you leave, best not to burn bridges, because you might one day need a reference. Try to end on good terms with them, if at all possible.

 

[esieffe]

Yes, this was the part that most concerns me. Having unclear directions, and especially having conflicting orders from two bosses. I’ve had bosses that play their underlings against each other for executive display, and it can be very hard to even tread water in that situation, much less win.

If nothing else, having an employment contract with a company implies that they give you clear instructions about what you are expected to do. If they are unclear, then it isn’t that you have a bad attitude (you may have but not necessarily) but that you need to know what you are supposed to be doing for your pay.

I used to go into a particular Wal-Mart at early morning hours, and with only a few customers, at like 5 in the morning, they had this one manager who would just go off about the employees and about how they need to shape up and even specific items they need to cover in a meeting. That was all over the loudspeaker. I was shocked and amazed; the employees learned to take it in stride, which was both sad and good for them, because plenty of other people had apparently complained and it was still going on.

Thanks for the post. It was humiliating to be chewed out in front of customers. That is most definitely, a no-no. She is not my supervisor, though clearly since she is a manager, even of another department, she deserves respect, even if she does not earn it. During the “situation” I asked the General Manager, the big cheese, if paging someone for an override was ok. He said yes, and I almost broke a leg running up to go tell the front end manager all about it. She had already made her firs error, but this was the start of MY error. Two wrongs do not make a right as it is said.

I basically stepped into an on-going feud between the “front end” and the rest of the store. People have had this problem on occasion [not getting an override] and simply left the store. The bottom line is this in my eyes. The front end manager was rude and made an error chastising me in front of customers. I was wrong to argue with her out of anger for her rudeness. The rule is ambiguous and the GM has not or will not properly address the ongoing situation.

I will apologize to this woman, as it is the right thing to do. You are all right about that. I took a bad situation and made it worse, but the GM said paging a manager was not wrong, even in this instance. However, I am not going to turn up the heat of this ongoing conflict again. I will just find someone on foot, rather than risk another run in.

If after I apologize there are any further abusive chew outs, I will call HR, or transfer to another store.

Thanks everyone!!! Lets all have a good 2015! I am enjoying all of your helpful posts.

 

[pianistclare]

Thanks for the post. It was humiliating to be chewed out in front of customers. That is most definitely, a no-no. She is not my supervisor, though clearly since she is a manager, even of another department, she deserves respect, even if she does not earn it. During the “situation” I asked the General Manager, the big cheese, if paging someone for an override was ok. He said yes, and I almost broke a leg running up to go tell the front end manager all about it. She had already made her firs error, but this was the start of MY error. Two wrongs do not make a right as it is said.

I basically stepped into an on-going feud between the “front end” and the rest of the store. People have had this problem on occasion [not getting an override] and simply left the store. The bottom line is this in my eyes. The front end manager was rude and made an error chastising me in front of customers. I was wrong to argue with her out of anger for her rudeness. The rule is ambiguous and the GM has not or will not properly address the ongoing situation.

I will apologize to this woman, as it is the right thing to do. You are all right about that. I took a bad situation and made it worse, but the GM said paging a manager was not wrong, even in this instance. However, I am not going to turn up the heat of this ongoing conflict again. I will just find someone on foot, rather than risk another run in.

If after I apologize there are any further abusive chew outs, I will call HR, or transfer to another store.

Thanks everyone!!! Lets all have a good 2015! I am enjoying all of your helpful posts.

God bless you!
(apply at Publix )