Need to go to confession again?

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DanteAlighieri

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ARGH!

I just went to confession today because of, er, purity issues. Then, this afternoon, I found myself a few times “checking out” a couple of women.

The first one I believe was more of a habitual thing: I didn’t seek to look her over; I found myself doing it and stopped when I realized it. The second woman, however, I turned away from…and then, I turned back.

Now I’m wondering if I ought to go to confession AGAIN before I receive the Eucharist, or if I’m being overly scrupulous about this. Intellectually, I would’ve denied a desire to check out that second woman, but I question whether that’s enough reason to say there wasn’t full consent of my will.

On top of that, I’m not even sure where the line is. Surely it’s not immoral to admire a beautiful woman, but at what point does it become lustful?

This has been troubling me for some time; I appreciate any advice you can give. My inclination is to confess this, but I don’t want to reinforce any scrupulous tendencies. On the other hand, I don’t want to presume I’m in a state of grace if I’m not!

Help!

Peace,
Dante
 
DanteAlighieri said:
ARGH!

I just went to confession today because of, er, purity issues. Then, this afternoon, I found myself a few times “checking out” a couple of women.

The first one I believe was more of a habitual thing: I didn’t seek to look her over; I found myself doing it and stopped when I realized it. The second woman, however, I turned away from…and then, I turned back.

Now I’m wondering if I ought to go to confession AGAIN before I receive the Eucharist, or if I’m being overly scrupulous about this. Intellectually, I would’ve denied a desire to check out that second woman, but I question whether that’s enough reason to say there wasn’t full consent of my will.

On top of that, I’m not even sure where the line is. Surely it’s not immoral to admire a beautiful woman, but at what point does it become lustful?

This has been troubling me for some time; I appreciate any advice you can give. My inclination is to confess this, but I don’t want to reinforce any scrupulous tendencies. On the other hand, I don’t want to presume I’m in a state of grace if I’m not!

Help!

Peace,
Dante
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Welcome to humanity. No, being physically attracted to a person is not sinful. Moreover, I will go out on a limb here and say that even doing a double take does not rise to the level of mortal sin. Only you and God know what was in your heart at the time. Therefore, the question can only be answered by one of you two. If, when you did your double take, you were engaging in sinful imaginings, then perhaps you should go to Confession. If however, the double take was followed by the simplistic thought of simply “Wow!” then I would not worry about it. On a personal level, I find that when I am in similar situations, an Our Father, a Hail Mary, and a Glory Be recited in my mind are very effective in distracting a wondering mind.
 
DanteAlighieri said:
ARGH!

I just went to confession today because of, er, purity issues. Then, this afternoon, I found myself a few times “checking out” a couple of women.

The first one I believe was more of a habitual thing: I didn’t seek to look her over; I found myself doing it and stopped when I realized it. The second woman, however, I turned away from…and then, I turned back.

Now I’m wondering if I ought to go to confession AGAIN before I receive the Eucharist, or if I’m being overly scrupulous about this. Intellectually, I would’ve denied a desire to check out that second woman, but I question whether that’s enough reason to say there wasn’t full consent of my will.

On top of that, I’m not even sure where the line is. Surely it’s not immoral to admire a beautiful woman, but at what point does it become lustful?

This has been troubling me for some time; I appreciate any advice you can give. My inclination is to confess this, but I don’t want to reinforce any scrupulous tendencies. On the other hand, I don’t want to presume I’m in a state of grace if I’m not!

Help!

Peace,
Dante
Click to expand...
I think this does not rise to the level of Lust, and is not sinful.

“Checking out” someone is not sinful, in and of itself. Unless you imagine impure acts.

God Bless, and don’t be too hard on yourself
 
Thanks for your thoughts, guys. I decided the best course of action was to receive the Eucharist and then confirm my thoughts by speaking to the priest after Mass. He agreed that I probably didn’t sin, and that scruples are beginning to be a problem for me. 🙂

I appreciate your replies.

Peace,
Dante
 
I pray that you are relieved of the scruples. I feel like I have been haunted by scruples quite often myself. I like to use this examination of conscience often:

catholicparents.org/oxcart/Examination%20of%20Conscience.pdf

Take a look at the venial sin/imperfections section under the 6th commandment.
  • Lack of custody of the eyes (looking inappropriately at others)
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This is especially tough for me. I usually pray the Hail Mary immediately when thoughts start brewing.
 
When you find yourself “checking out”, thank God for the beauty that he’s created in this world. Regular confession should take of anything that passes over the line; no need to go again.
 
Dante,
This aspect of your encounter was not explored. God made women beautiful so that we would be attracted to them and thereby continue the human race . We can and should appreciate Gods handy work by looking at them with admiration. That in and of itself is not wrong. It’s what we do with the thoughts after we admire them that can be sinful. Lets look at another situation. You see a girl across the street on campus. You do the double take and then again but you follow her into a coffee shop. You strike up a conversation and several months later you’re engaged and then later married. It all started with a look then a double take etc. etc. Remember only you and God can determine if your thoughts crossed the line.
 
there is a large difference between walking into museum, looking at a picasso and saying 'ahhhh, beautiful"
versus walking into the museum with a razor knife in your pocket saying…“oh, yeah… that’ll look nice hanging up over MY fireplace. i’m taking you home.”

the first one will cost you a $12 admission, the second one is grand theft larceny with a mandatory 20 years.
 
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