Nephew was being abused

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UtahMaggie

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A few weeks ago we found out that my 13 year old nephew has been abused by his father. He is the oldest child of my sister. He lives with his dad and step-mom. While they were out of town, he was staying with his grandma (dad’s mom). She gave him the key to his dad’s house to go over there for some reason, to get more clothes or something like that. Anyway, he ended up bringing two friends and they started drinking. When his dad and s.m. returned from vacation, they could tell he had been in the house. And (you’re really not going to believe this part) his dad was angry because $200 of his marijuana was missing. So he hit my nephew several times, enough to leave bruises on his arms. This is the difficult part. He put his hands around my nephews neck and left marks. (now I’m crying). We then found out this is not the first time my nephew was beaten to this extreme.

Most importantly, my nephew is out of the home and living with his grandma. My sister is in no position to take him. I wish we could be we just can’t financially. He’s in good hands at his grandma’s. She took pictures of the marks left on him by his dad and has started child abuse proceedings against the dad. This isn’t the first time my nephew has been beaten for doing something wrong. I am just so stunned that the dad and s.m. are angry that their drugs are missing! I get so mad when I talk about it that I start shouting. Talk about messed up!

One more thing. My nephew used to live with my sister. When he was 5, my sister was living with my husband and me. She was going to the bars every night. When she would come home if my nephew was awake, she would go in her room and pass out. Yes, we were there to watch him but we didn’t feel like she was being a good mom. I called his dad and he had already talked to his wife. He said they wanted custody of my nephew. At first he was doing well. I really don’t know when everything went down hill. I feel very guilty because I’m the one who talked to his dad about taking custody of him. I feel like he went through this abuse because of what I did even though I had his best interest in mind. I never thought this would happen. This only happens to “other people”. Give your kids an extra hug today, whether they like it or not. Tell them you love them. Please don’t hit them.
Maggie
 
First of all, let me tell you, this is not your fault. You had no idea this would happen.

I am so sorry that this happened to your nephew. Hug him, pray for him, and most of all, let him know that he is safe now. Let him know that he can come to you about anything. Let him know that God loves him.

I’ll pray for him.
 
Maggie,
This is not your fault! You were trying to help. Is the grandma on the mom’s side or the dad’s? When it goes to court, blood is thicker than water, get a copy of those pics now!!!

My second sister is filing for divorce from her abusive husband. He also has hit his son hard enough to knock a tooth out. The fraternal grandparent took pics of the child (6yrs) but magically lost them when CPS wanted to see them. My sister is currently living with our parents, very devote catholics who take the children to mass everyday and rosary before mass. They are doing better, but it is a long hill to climb. I know what you mean about this only happens to others. I came from a very strong and close family, this is not something we are use to dealing with. (I did try to talk her out of marrying him on her wedding day, bad feeling and he was VERY drunk from his party at a strip club the night before.)

I actually do not hate my temporary in-law, I worry for his soul! He was brought up to be self centered, and it has progressed to self interst and control. He is so focused on hurting my family and his own self pleasures he forgets he has to children caught in the middle. He told my sister she can have the baby, he wants the son. He has also taught my nephew to lie, children are not born with this, they are taught it. He needs help.

I will pray for your peace! Place it in God’s hands, he has a plan, we just do not see it. Atleast now the brother-in-law will have to get some drug help (it will be court ordered).
 
Thank you for your posts. I know it’s not my fault. In fact my husband, who never raises his voice to me, looked me straight in the eye and with a very firm voice said, “Don’t you dare blame yourself for this.” Thank you for your bits of advice as well. And most of all, for your prayers.

Peace be with you,
Maggie
 
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