Nephew's Father

[Stylus]

I have a baby newphew. I absolutely love him and the whole rest of my family is thrilled with him- except his father. He was very excited about having his first child but now it seems like he hardly enjoys the baby at all. He’s always happy when it’s the baby’s bedtime, I seldom here him say positive things about the baby, and says ‘no!’ to loudly to him when the baby does something only a little bit naughty. This is not how I expected my brother-in-law to be. Maybe he’s got to learn how to be a father, but it’s hard for me to see my newphew not appreicated by him.

 

[Stylus]

Sorry about the typos- nephew, not newphew. Well he is new! lol

 

[ElizabethJoy]

It’s possible that he just doesn’t know what an awesome responsibility he has. I didn’t have a clue, when my first two were born. I slogged along as best I could, but it wasn’t until quite a few years later that I began to have an inkling.

Or, it’s possible that the new mother has “hogged” the baby and pushed the father aside. (That happened with me, I have to admit. )

Mothers can be so perfectionistic about how the baby is to be diapered, dressed, fed, bathed, spoken to, played with … that she will intimidate everyone around her (including the baby’s father!) into just keeping hands off. Fathers have a tendency to think, “Well, she’s a mother, so she knows best” and they just go along with it all.

Mothers need to learn that while fathers’ ways with the children are different, they’re not wrong. We need to be less perfectionistic and protective.

Can you give them some books about parenting? Something that explains the kind of nurturing a child needs and how both parents have such a big responsibility and separate roles in the child’s life? Would that help them?