Thank you for your suggestions ClayPots47. My husband is very supportive of everything I am doing, but I guess I just feel that I still will be in an invalid marriage until the Convalidation process is complete (praying hard that this happens!) even if we live as brother and sister which is what we have been doing since I found out that it was a moral sin. I guess I just feel a moral obligation to do this. I hope I am doing the right thing. I guess this will be something else to bring up in our first meeting with the priest. Any advice you can give me on this?
Um. You’re getting some great support here.
I happen to be a catechist who has taught lessons on “sin” to teenagers for ten years. For whatever it’s worth that I’ve been a catechist, perhaps my thoughts here to you might be helpful.
I, for one, do NOT consider your position to be that as “in mortal sin.” To have committed a sin – mortal sin or venial sin – it’s required that before you do that action, you ALREADY KNOW that action is against God’s will. Also, that you freely choose – knowing that it IS against God’s will to do that action – to actually do that action.
Um. I don’t hear from what I read what you wrote that you already knew what you did was a sin, at all! Much less a mortal one!
So, by definition of the word “sin” – you have NOT committed a sin!
Ask your priest about that. Really. Once you’ve talked with him about this, he’ll be able to clear that up for you to your satisfaction.
Meanwhile, I encourage you to “trust your gut.” To continue to live as brother and sister with your husband.
Certainly – once you speak to the priest, tell him all of this. What you’re feeling. The good, the bad, and the ugly of it all. Frankly and truthfully. He’s heard it all before. He’s a pro at handling this kinda stuff!
Though I’d be remiss if I did not mention that you might want to mention to the priest ***that you’re sensing *** that you MIGHT be incorrect for “feeling a moral obligation to live as brother and sister until the Convalidation process has completed.”
I’m saying this to you here ONLY because I sense that by mentioning this concern of yours to your priest, you’ll feel more comfortable. This is NOT supposed to hurt. Be temporarily uncomfortable, sure. It IS a passage of sorts. That you brush against the sides of the passageway – is only part of the process.
Yeah. Trust your gut. Refrain UNTIL you officially “get the green light.”
That you “feel the moral obligation to do this” – in other words, refraining until the Convalidation process has been completely completed (sorry for the clumsy use of words there! tee hee!) → well, I’m not an expert nor am I a priest, but it seems to me that the reason you are feeling this way is EXACTY because it’s the message from the Holy Spirit, or your Guardian Angel, that it’s correct that you are feeling this way.
But don’t beat yourself up about feeling this way, either. That would be taking it to the opposite extreme.
God speaks in whispers. I do “think” that this is exactly what is happening. He, Himself, is validating your feelings for the position that you are currently, albeit temporarily, finding yourself until the Convalidation process has completed.
That your husband understands and supports you in this – is another way that God is speaking to you about all this. God DOES speak through others. Even through your husband. This is often one of the many fruits of a blessed marriage.
I’m keeping you, your husband, and your intentions in my prayers.
You’re doing the right thing – in the right direction – in the right way – in the right sequence.
“Unlax.” ~~ Bugs Bunny
It’ll come out okay. Really.
