New Age Hangover?

[juliasmith]

Lately I have been having serious problems praying, going to mass, and staying focused on my spiritual studies. I keep getting thoughts that the scriptures and my faith are a lie, that the work of Christ on the cross is a lie. Then, I get thoughts of writing a ‘how-to’ spiritual manual that espouses eastern mysticism and golden dawn methods of ‘prayer’, that would include spells focusing on Christ and the Blessed Virgin.
Rationally, I know these things are wrong. I wind up arguing with myself over it. I pray and it only gets stronger.
I should ‘bother’ my priest over this one, shouldn’t I?
With a strong neo-pagan background, I need help with this.
But until I can get there, does anyone know some practical things I can do?
I use Holy Water, blessed salt, the St. Michael prayer, the rosary, and regular prayers to the Blessed Trinity. Anything else that someone can suggest might help. Thanks.

 

[Trishie]

Yes, "bother’’ your priest about it!

I’ll keep you in my prayers and Masses

 

[Trishie]

It’s natural that you would have some reversion to a culture you were raised in.

Write a book if that’s your talent, but in prayer with the Holy Spirit and true to the faith you have espoused. Perhaps the direction of your book, guided by the Holy Spirit, will in unfolding, deepen your Catholic faith and prayer. The spell idea has to go!. But belief in the power of the Spirit can grow. Set prayers are great, but there is also a need to grow in creative prayer with the Holy Spirit. You are a unique, wonderful person, and the dream of God of you, for you, and for others through you, is a unique wonderful language to be discovered.

What can I say to you to trigger the particular spark. I’ve a journal, "A Hanful of Wildflowers’ that’s over 100, 000 words, but I don’t know which meditation or prayer to choose to maybe light the spark that takes you through to the great discovery of your unique dialogue between God and you, and the unique way He can speak through you for others…so I pray that the Holy Spirit will give you your that breakthrough soon, into whatever He wants to say to us, to anyone He particular wishes you to, even from the wisdom of the light He throws on your past beliefs.

You clearly have a mind that has the capacity to create and to draw things together in a whole…so Holy Spirit please ensure that my sister is able to use her gifts for You delight and her own delight and growth…and others’ benefit!

 

[survive]

I know how it feels.
I was deeply into the New Age in the '80’s, involved in the hardcore occult for a little while – channeling, necromancy, spells – had a slew of spirit guides :hypno: bad things happened, a lot – discovered to my shock that the claims of Christianity are supported by data that can actually be found, all without leaving my body.
Became a Christian by intellectual assent and commitment of will and emotion, had some wanderings within Christianity before I was baptized. Baptized and renewed, I searched for a church where faith and miracles and real help for people including brave evangelistic techniques are normal. Found a storefront nondenominational church that seemed perfect. Jumped in.
It started to change. It got into the G12 movement – I’m just now coming to understand what happened then.:hypno:
So, while I would pray or get dressed for church, or do my intensive Bible study, sometimes I had experiences just like you have described above. At church, people suggested I rebuke it aloud, and get more plugged-in and committed and the like. But nothing worked. I was depressed, sick and worried all the time.
I decided to write about it. The idea was to save others using my great testimony. In several ways, that choice drew me into places where I found information and perspectives that showed me how much my church had changed and why I ought to look elsewhere.
To my shock, guess where I ended up? I was on CA home page and suddenly knew I had to read it, even though the group I was in was quite anti-Catholic. I found answers to my issues there.
I went to RCIA and I’m a neophyte now.
Now flashbacks to my Pentecostal days bother me, particularly often when I read the Bible or sing in charismatic meetings.
Apparently, these flashes can be part of a normal healing process. Your brain was trained to have certain thoughts, impulses and emotional associations. It still comes back at times, like when your fingers go to the wrong strings on an instrument – the chords of another song, one you used to practice daly for many years. Just keep learning the new song.
Since it could also be something spiritual, just keep praying and certainly ask your priest about it, too, and bless your home frequently.

 

[Angeluzza]

First, I just want to say that it is wonderful that you are being strong and fighting to stay in the light of Christ.

In regards to your thoughts about your faith, it may help to know that many people are attacked in this manner. Saint Therese of Lisieux underwent a long spiritual battle where she had all kinds of thoughts doubting her faith and all she believed in.

You mentioned that you argue with yourself over these thoughts. Please, do not argue with them at all. Such argument would be dangerous and would be precisely what the enemy desires.

Instead, run to Christ and ask Him to fight for you. On your part, tell Jesus how much you love Him, how much you believe in Him and His Holy Catholic Church. Tell Him you want nothing to do with the other pagan type beliefs. Tell Jesus you trust in Him. Affirm your faith and your Catholic beliefs to Christ. Renounce any beliefs that are not in accordance with all that the Holy Catholic Church teaches.

But I would not suggest getting into an argument or a debate with the thoughts where you suggest your points and the thoughts suggest theirs, and back and forth. The devil is the father of lies - if the father of lies wants to get into a conversation or a debate with you, run as fast as you can from him and his debates or conversations. The father of lies is far too cunning for me or you to argue with.

That is why I suggest running to Jesus, asking Jesus to defend you while you tell Jesus that you believe in Christ. When the thoughts arrive, just laugh at them as you would any set of lies and ignore them the best you can, but don’t engage them no matter what. Your lack of engagement with those thoughts is your strength through Christ.

I hope that helps - sorry if it was a bit repetitive. Just know you are not alone in this - many, many people go through this as well. It may have something to do with your past. I would definitely speak with a priest. You could ask to renew your baptismal vows with the priest, or even have a short prayer of exorcism said over you. I once had one of Mother Angelica’s nuns tell me that Mother Angelica told her, whenever she felt opressed by anything, to ask a priest to say a brief prayer of exorcism over her.

Stay strong and determined to defeat your enemy by not engaging him and turning in prayer and longing to Christ. You could also pray to Saint Christopher.

 

[beckycmarie]

Hi Julia,

This is the kind of thing that the SPCDC helps people with. When it comes to occult and new age involvement, there can be some problems that remain even after confession.

My first recommendation would be to say this prayer:

Renunciation Of Satan and Claiming the Full Victory

I claim the full victory that my Lord Jesus Christ won on the Cross for me. Having disarmed the powers and authorities, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross" (Col. 2:15) His victory for me is my victory.

In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ I renounce all the workings of Satan in my life in all its forms, whether brought into my life by my actions or by others. I break all attachments, ground, curses, spells, and rights Satan may have in my life whether such ground was gained through my actions or through others. Strengthened by the intercession of the Immaculate Virgin Mary, Mother of God, of Blessed Michael the Archangel, of the Blessed Apostles Peter and Paul, and all the Saints and Angels of Heaven, and powerful in the holy authority of the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I ask you Lord to command Satan and all his minions, whomever they may be, to get out of my life and stay out. With that authority I now take back the ground in my life gained by Satan through my sins. I reclaim this ground and my life for Christ. I now dedicate myself to the Lord Jesus Christ; I belong to Him alone. Amen.

What you describe doesn’t sound like a major attack - but it does sound like strong temptations from an enemy who wants you back in his camp. The best way to deal with those temptations is to cut them off at the thought, by refusing to dwell on the thoughts and reminding yourself that Christ is the way, the truth and the life. If the temptation continues despite your efforts to resist it, say a Hail Mary.

If you continue to have problems after saying the renunciation prayer and fighting the temptations with the truth and prayer, let me know (you can PM if you like) and I can send you a link to the next line of defense.

May God bless and heal you,
Becky

 

[juliasmith]

While outside tonight, I noticed the full moon.

Is it possible that this was triggered because full moons were a special part of my former practices?

Thanks for the advice guys. I had hoped to rejoin the church and live peacefully and quietly. Guess it isn’t going to be like that.

It sure feels like a major attack. Hate to see one of those if this is small one.

The prayers mean so much to me. I do not have words to tell what it means to me. Thank you.

 

[beckycmarie]

Thanks for the advice guys. I had hoped to rejoin the church and live peacefully and quietly. Guess it isn’t going to be like that. .

Actually Julia, once you do rejoin the Church and are receiving the Sacraments, this problem will likely come to a screeching halt. The primary means of deliverance are conversion and a return to the Sacraments if one has been away from them. As Michael Voris puts it, when Heaven enters the room, Hell leaves.

But know that there will be a battle in the meantime as the enemy doesn’t want to see the Kingdom of God established within you. Not only would the devil lose one more soul he’d like to destroy, but also every person living the Christ life does considerable damage to Satan’s ‘kingdom.’

Keep in mind that God makes all things, even this trial you’re experiencing right now, work for the good of your soul in the long run. (Romans 8:28) And, that God will not allow you to be tested beyond your strength (1 Cor 10:13). By bearing this cross faithfully, you will come out of this stronger in faith than you were before.

 

[AveSantaMaria]

Maybe it might help to fill your mind with saintly works to replace the occult knowledge.

I subscribe to a daily Catholic meditation email for faith, listening, and peace. Click HERE if you are interested. On 12/21/08 they sent me this meditation:

St. Ignatius learned about discerning God’s influence from the influence of others during his recovery of a battle wound in 1521. He would dream of doing knightly deeds but afterwards would feel sad and listless. On the other hand, he would dream of imitating the saints and would feel joyful and alive. It was through these daydreams that Ignatius came to see how God draws us toward a new way of life. Consider the primary thoughts that occupy your mind daily and how you feel afterwards.

In May 2002, America magazine published an article by William A. Barry, S.J. titled “How Do I Know It’s God.” See the full article for more on the life of St. Ignatius and how he came to the Rules for Discernment of Spirits in his Spiritual Exercises.

Perhaps acquiring a body of knowledge about the saints lives and Catholic theology on aspects of life such as the Crucifixion might help along with much much prayer. St. Louis Mary Grignon de Montfort recommended saying the full and complete Rosary daily if one could, which is more than one Mystery a day, and takes about an hour a day. St. Padre Pio prayed almost an entire day, saying as many as 90 Rosaries daily. His Holiness Pope John Paul spent many hours (can’t remember if it is 4, 5, or 6 a day in prayer) I have noticed that I sometimes have scary dreams that seem to touch upon evil, but the last time that I had this dream I ended the dream in prayer on my knees. I can only surmise that this is because daily prayer when I am awake has become such a way of life for me. I also am greatly motivated and inspired and spiritually taught by reading profound Catholic devotional work and saintly work, and it may provide something else to replace all of the occult space/connections in your mind. Instead of popping up with occult ideas you might pop up with saintly inspirations! Eucharistic Adoration is also great!

P.S. Another wonderful and powerful prayer is the
Divine Mercy Chaplet ewtn.com/Devotionals/mercy/dmmap.htm

P.P.S. Here is the list of reading that I have been positively affected by thus far.
True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin fisheaters.com/totalconsecrationmontfort.html
The Love of Eternal Wisdom ewtn.com/library/Montfort/lew.htm
**Secret of the Rosary ** montfort.org.uk/Writings/Rosary.html
Reflections on True Devotion to Mary by His Holiness Pope John Paul II http://www.michaeljournal.org/montfort.htm
**The Glories of Mary, ** by St. Alphonsus de Liguori, one of the 33 Doctors of the Catholic Church, explains Hail Holy Queen http://www.catholictradition.org/Mary/glories.htm
On the Dolors of Mary by St. Alphonsus de Liguori, one of the 33 Doctors of the Catholic Church, explains the sufferings of Our Lady http://writer.zoho.com/public/immaculate/Seven-dolors
Marialis Cultus (Apostolic Exhortation for the Right Ordering and Development of Devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary of His Holiness, February 2, 1974 by His Holiness Pope Paul VI ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/P6MARIAL.HTM
Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus en.wikisource.org/wiki/Devotion_to_the_Sacred_Heart_of_Jesus#FIRST_POINT._.E2.80.94_The_ardent_desire_Jesus_Christ_feels_to_be_with_us.
Diary of St. Maria Faustina Divine Mercy in My Soul saint-faustina.com/Diary/DMIMS1.shtml
Autobiography of St. Therese of Liseux: The Story of a Soul gutenberg.org/etext/16772
The Teaching of St. Therese of Liseux on Purgatory: franciscan-sfo.org/ap/litfwrpu.htm
The Way of Perfection: catholicfirst.com/TheFaith/CatholicClassics/StTeresa/way/wayofperfection.cfm
Commentary on Jonah: litteralchristianlibrary.wetpaint.com/page/Jonah+Chapter+3

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world!

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

 

[juliasmith]

I have recently begun to collect and read the works of Pope Benedict XVI and Fr. Benedict Groeschel. I am finding them immensely helpful.

Suggestions for saints, anyone?
I like Padre Pio. Thanks for your list. I’ll do some research now. God bless all of you.

 

[Angeluzza]

I have recently begun to collect and read the works of Pope Benedict XVI and Fr. Benedict Groeschel. I am finding them immensely helpful.

Suggestions for saints, anyone?
I like Padre Pio. Thanks for your list. I’ll do some research now. God bless all of you.

Therese of Lisieux. I really like “The Complete Spiritual Doctrine of Saint Therese of Lisieux,” and her biography.

Saint Teresa of Avila. You might find her very helpful in your situation - she knew a lot about fighting off bad things because she personally fought off much herself - even devils. Try her biography first, then any of her other books she wrote.

 

[juliasmith]

Actually Julia, once you do rejoin the Church and are receiving the Sacraments, this problem will likely come to a screeching halt. The primary means of deliverance are conversion and a return to the Sacraments if one has been away from them. As Michael Voris puts it, when Heaven enters the room, Hell leaves.

But know that there will be a battle in the meantime as the enemy doesn’t want to see the Kingdom of God established within you. Not only would the devil lose one more soul he’d like to destroy, but also every person living the Christ life does considerable damage to Satan’s ‘kingdom.’

Keep in mind that God makes all things, even this trial you’re experiencing right now, work for the good of your soul in the long run. (Romans 8:28) And, that God will not allow you to be tested beyond your strength (1 Cor 10:13). By bearing this cross faithfully, you will come out of this stronger in faith than you were before.

I have rejoined the church. I am, unfortunately, having to wait for an annulment (and praying it is granted) so I can have my current marriage blessed by the church.
Should I be making a spiritual communion daily?

I’ve been unable to make it to mass since Nov. 30. It started with a badly sprained ankle, then family visits through the holidays, and now I am down with a highly contagious bug that I would hate to give to anyone else. All this happened right after I helped a friend find a church, introduced him to the priest, and saw him on his way to conversion. No good deed goes unpunished, I guess.

Angeluzza, funny you should mention Teresa of Avila. I have a copy of ‘Interior Castle’ lying around here.

 

[Angeluzza]

I had a nagging feeling to mention Saint Teresa of Avila to you Perhaps that is why! “Interior Castle,” from what I know, is about developing that close, intimate relationship with God that makes one holy.

I would think that making a spiritual communion every day would be a good thing too

Let me know how you like the book!

 

[beckycmarie]

I would think that making a spiritual communion every day would be a good thing too

Agreed - it’s good to make these while you wait to be able to receive the Eucharist again.

 

[Catholic_JIMMY]

I know how it feels.
I was deeply into the New Age in the '80’s, involved in the hardcore occult for a little while – channeling, necromancy, spells – had a slew of spirit guides :hypno: bad things happened, a lot – discovered to my shock that the claims of Christianity are supported by data that can actually be found, all without leaving my body.
Became a Christian by intellectual assent and commitment of will and emotion, had some wanderings within Christianity before I was baptized. Baptized and renewed, I searched for a church where faith and miracles and real help for people including brave evangelistic techniques are normal. Found a storefront nondenominational church that seemed perfect. Jumped in.
It started to change. It got into the G12 movement – I’m just now coming to understand what happened then.:hypno:
So, while I would pray or get dressed for church, or do my intensive Bible study, sometimes I had experiences just like you have described above. At church, people suggested I rebuke it aloud, and get more plugged-in and committed and the like. But nothing worked. I was depressed, sick and worried all the time.
I decided to write about it. The idea was to save others using my great testimony. In several ways, that choice drew me into places where I found information and perspectives that showed me how much my church had changed and why I ought to look elsewhere.
To my shock, guess where I ended up? I was on CA home page and suddenly knew I had to read it, even though the group I was in was quite anti-Catholic. I found answers to my issues there.
I went to RCIA and I’m a neophyte now.
Now flashbacks to my Pentecostal days bother me, particularly often when I read the Bible or sing in charismatic meetings.
Apparently, these flashes can be part of a normal healing process. Your brain was trained to have certain thoughts, impulses and emotional associations. It still comes back at times, like when your fingers go to the wrong strings on an instrument – the chords of another song, one you used to practice daly for many years. Just keep learning the new song.
Since it could also be something spiritual, just keep praying and certainly ask your priest about it, too, and bless your home frequently.

This is very akward and personal but did you get possessed?

 

[GracieLou]

Julia,

First of all, if you are having recurrent obsessive thoughts that are scary and unwanted, and related to doubts about the faith or moral behavior, there is a good chance you have a medical condition called obsessive-compulsive disorder. You may also have other signs of anxiety or depression. The disorder in general responds well to certain medications that affect your serotonin level. Recommendation would be to seek medical help. There is no shame in this. Now, that does not mean there is not a spiritual warfare going on all the same. Both could be occurring at the same time - I would also talk to a priest.

And I think one of the best recommendations made - do not argue with the thoughts. Try to think of something else. If it seems you must have this internal debate, then put it off for now. Tell yourself you are suspending disbelief and this debate till later, and behave as if you have strong faith, and pray openly with God and trustfully. Now may not be the time to engage in this internal
intellectual debate.

Also - if you cannot receive Holy Communion, find an adoration chapel and go and adore! If doubts come, dismiss them, and throw yourself on His mercy - ask Him to increase and strengthen your faith.

And call out to name of the Lord Jesus Christ as your defense.
And your Guardian Angel.

Other saints you could read - St Catherine of Siena, Blessed Angela of Foligno (even Mother Angelica who is still with us), Blessed Teresa of Calcutta, St John of the Cross.

May God bless you and keep you.

 

[Lisa44]

Lately I have been having serious problems praying, going to mass, and staying focused on my spiritual studies. I keep getting thoughts that the scriptures and my faith are a lie, that the work of Christ on the cross is a lie. Then, I get thoughts of writing a ‘how-to’ spiritual manual that espouses eastern mysticism and golden dawn methods of ‘prayer’, that would include spells focusing on Christ and the Blessed Virgin.
Rationally, I know these things are wrong. I wind up arguing with myself over it. I pray and it only gets stronger.
I should ‘bother’ my priest over this one, shouldn’t I?
With a strong neo-pagan background, I need help with this.
But until I can get there, does anyone know some practical things I can do?
I use Holy Water, blessed salt, the St. Michael prayer, the rosary, and regular prayers to the Blessed Trinity. Anything else that someone can suggest might help. Thanks.

Study. I think your intellect will be your most valuable weapon to defeat this temptation. If I asked you, “what is wrong with being a pagan?” Would you be able to answer that? If I asked you “what is wrong with eastern mysticism?” What would you say?

I like these articles from ewtn
ewtn.com/library/indexes/NEWAGE.htm

I like your question, its very interesting.

 

[GracieLou]

I would not get into an intellectual analysis just yet.

It sounds to me this is not springing from intellectual curiosity but from 1 and/or 2 sources:

1. obsessive-compulsive disorder - if so, this is not the time to get on the intellectualizing merry go round. You’ll be tempted to – but it will be ruminative and won’t resolve anything right now. If you have OCD, wait till you are healthier to use your intellect. Your intellect can go into overdrive and not in a healthy way when you have this.
2. temptations from the enemy - you cannot outwit him or outargue him. Not that he is right - but he is clever and can use rhethoric to his advantage. Withstand the attack, then use your intellect after it subsides is my advice.

However spiritual reading can be good to some extent - and there will be a time to read to resolve nagging questions and doubts. I just caution over-reliance on the intellect right now - you need the Lord and possibly medical help ( I do not know - I just know it sounds like it could be OCD - since these thoughts seem to be intrusive and recurring).