I did get with the Archdiocesan Vocation Director. It was a BIG MISTAKE! Within 10 minutes and not even knowing me, he claimed that my call to make Vows could really be the call of the devil to destroy religious communities! NOT going back to him, but did pick up a Spiritual Director who told me about the Institutes, and then bashfully admitted her community had Consecrated Vowed Laity, after she got out of me “why?” the Vows were so important.
What I am trying to do now is discern, but it’s hard to do if you only have 1-2 choices out there. I may have lucked out and God brought me right to the Cenacle’s, but still need to do due diligence and know what I am discerning and with who?
I did approach a community I like a lot, at least what I see on the internet about them, and asked if they would consider such a move and allow me to Vow as Consecrated Vowed Laity. Not sure if that will fly or if they want me to consider entering, which I feel at my age I don’t want to do at this point.
It’s rare but my situation is rarer. I tried to enter a religious community after College and was thrown into a tailspin. They were in flux (they’ve closed shop since) and said “no” while concurrently a group I met over a one week period tried to strong arm me, giving me 3 months to enter them. I was devastated as the Community I had thought I would be entering I had known and was working towards that since 6th grade. It was like having the carpet pulled out from underneath me.
While I still “match” at age 59 with @ 23 communities, it’s hard for me to make that move and take such a risk at my age. Consecrated Vowed Laity will allow me to age in place and continue in my ministry.
All I can say is it truly is about the Vows. I am a “committed” Third Order, but it is leaving me restless. I also don’t have the communal spirit I sought.
And while it’s rare to have Consecrated Vowed Laity, I think we will see more of it in the church especially in light of the recent abuse scandal and the fact that Laity are seeking stronger roles in the church. As for me, I’m just trying to finally keep my promise to Christ, a promise I made in 1972, but was not allowed to go forward with by who I thought was my spiritual family, and was pressured by another group who I knew nothing about that made me walk away. Telling someone you have 3 months to pack your bags and move 8 hours away when you knew NOTHING about them, is NOT the way to get Vocations and really wrecked havoc in my life. Plus remember, times were different. There was no World Wide Web and forums such as this to come to.
I can not even begin to tell you how much all of this affected my life, and am working out the pain in Spiritual Direction so I can move on and fulfill my Baptismal Call.