New and need HELP!

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MaryFF

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I am a Third Order, “Committed” but before my Commitment, I had told the head of the group I really felt called to make Vows. I was told there was no way possible, except as a Diocesan.

In Spiritual Direction I found out about Consecrated Vowed Laity. I know about the Secular Institutes, but feel called to make the Vows with a community.

So I know of two women’s religious communities that allow Vow Laity: the Cenacle Sisters and the Disc. Carmelites. Are there any others? I don’t care about letters after my name of a habit in my coffin. What is important to me is the Vows, not Commitments or Promises.
 
There’s another group, the Sisters Of Charity Of Ottawa, but I haven’t written to them yet. This information is so hard to find!
 
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The information is hard to find because such a situation is rare.

I’d be getting with the diocesan vocations director on this. They likely have more information.

I know a lay person can develop a personal prayer rule, and habit, and present the rule to the bishop and ask for a letter recognizing them as a lay contemplative. No vows, though, AFAIK.
 
I did get with the Archdiocesan Vocation Director. It was a BIG MISTAKE! Within 10 minutes and not even knowing me, he claimed that my call to make Vows could really be the call of the devil to destroy religious communities! NOT going back to him, but did pick up a Spiritual Director who told me about the Institutes, and then bashfully admitted her community had Consecrated Vowed Laity, after she got out of me “why?” the Vows were so important.

What I am trying to do now is discern, but it’s hard to do if you only have 1-2 choices out there. I may have lucked out and God brought me right to the Cenacle’s, but still need to do due diligence and know what I am discerning and with who?

I did approach a community I like a lot, at least what I see on the internet about them, and asked if they would consider such a move and allow me to Vow as Consecrated Vowed Laity. Not sure if that will fly or if they want me to consider entering, which I feel at my age I don’t want to do at this point.

It’s rare but my situation is rarer. I tried to enter a religious community after College and was thrown into a tailspin. They were in flux (they’ve closed shop since) and said “no” while concurrently a group I met over a one week period tried to strong arm me, giving me 3 months to enter them. I was devastated as the Community I had thought I would be entering I had known and was working towards that since 6th grade. It was like having the carpet pulled out from underneath me.

While I still “match” at age 59 with @ 23 communities, it’s hard for me to make that move and take such a risk at my age. Consecrated Vowed Laity will allow me to age in place and continue in my ministry.

All I can say is it truly is about the Vows. I am a “committed” Third Order, but it is leaving me restless. I also don’t have the communal spirit I sought.

And while it’s rare to have Consecrated Vowed Laity, I think we will see more of it in the church especially in light of the recent abuse scandal and the fact that Laity are seeking stronger roles in the church. As for me, I’m just trying to finally keep my promise to Christ, a promise I made in 1972, but was not allowed to go forward with by who I thought was my spiritual family, and was pressured by another group who I knew nothing about that made me walk away. Telling someone you have 3 months to pack your bags and move 8 hours away when you knew NOTHING about them, is NOT the way to get Vocations and really wrecked havoc in my life. Plus remember, times were different. There was no World Wide Web and forums such as this to come to.

I can not even begin to tell you how much all of this affected my life, and am working out the pain in Spiritual Direction so I can move on and fulfill my Baptismal Call.
 
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You’re already committed third order? Which one, I might ask. There might be something that the Master of your order can accept. I know an OCDS who did deepen his commitment through actual private vows, but he had to ask the Father General for permission.

I’ve always said, “Look locally first.” If you’ve come back around to this one you’ve spoken of, then that might be it. Such a small pool is actually advantageous. The Holy Ghost works on attraction, so keep that in mind.

There’s Dedicated Laity out there now, which is what a majority of third orders are. As for vowed laity, that’s getting into something else. Secular Institutes have whatever form of commitment their founders gave them.

Learn to let go of that old experience. Visualize pouring the Precious Blood over yourself. Tell the Lord you made that promise in 1972, but did He actually accept it, and will He hold you to it? if so, He needs to let you know what to do. He usually speaks in a very, very imperceptible whisper in the soul, so you’re going to have to learn to be very quiet inside.

As for that archdiocesan vocations director, I would write everything down and send it to the chancellor. That kind of attitude is almost inexcusable. He’s there to help people, not drive them nuts.
 
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VMarist, Priest/Brothers Branch. I did write to the Provincial, but never heard back. I also wrote to the Marist Sisters and was told more or less that only Marist Religious make Vows. 😦 I wish they would think outside the box, but they won’t. It’s not easy for me to think of leaving the Marist. But the restlessness in my soul is calling me to Vows.

Ironically my SD is a Cenacle Sister which is how I found out about Consecrated Vowed Laity, that is after she drilled me about Vows, as they have Consecrated Vowed Laity. But to just stop there would not be discernment. That’s why I asked on this forum. I’ve tried the USCCB, Vocation Disernment websites and even asked “A Nuns Life” if they knew of this? Not finding any luck, but at least I’m up to three communities now.

Ironically, I still match with 23 religious *communities for entrance, but most of the Institutes wrote me off because of my age. I’m also seeing a cliquishness in them that is anything but Catholic. I know I am a sinner saved by grace. I’m not going to pretend to be anything better than anyone else nor do I want to be set apart with what I perceived is an air of superioritywith the Institutes.

As for letting go of old experiences, I am trying to do that now. The old experience was a rejection by a Community I knew all my life that I had wanted to enter after College, coupled by pressure to enter by another community I just met. That set me in a major tailspin that had me walk away from my entire Vocation. Now, I’m trying to make my Vows the only way I feel comfortable with at my age.
 
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Well in my own words, it’s taking the vows of Poverty, chastity and obedience but living in the world.

I just googled to get you a definition and this is from Boston’s archdiocean page.

Types of Consecrated Life:
Those who commit themselves to live the evangelical counsels in an institute approved by the Church. This structure reflects the inclusion of institutes as members of the peoples of God with a special calling within their vocation as Christians.
Type of CommunityNumber of Men’sNumber of Women’s
Apostolic3172
Missionary85
Contemplative35
Other Types of Consecrated and Non-Consecrated Life:
  • Secular Institutes (3) A secular institute is an institute of consecrated life in which the Christian faithful living in the world strive for the perfection of charity and work for the sanctification of the world especially from within.
  • Societies of Apostolic Life (1) Members without religious vows who pursue the particular apostolic purpose of the society, and leading a life in common according to a particular manner of life, strive for the perfection of charity through the observance of constitution.
  • Consecrated Virgins (10) Similar to other forms of consecrated life is the order of consecrated virgins who committed to the holy plan of following Christ more closely, are consecrated by the diocesan bishops, are betrothed to Christ and are dedicated to the service of the Church.
  • Canonical Hermits (3) Those recognized in the law of the Church as dedicated to God in a consecrated life, by publicly professing the three evangelical counsels confirmed by a vow or other sacred bond in the hands of the diocesan bishop and who observes their own plan under his direction.
  • Private Associations of Christ’s Faithful (2) Associations distinct form the institutes of consecrated life and the societies of apostolic life in which the Christian faithful, either clergy of laity, or both together, strive by common effort to promote a more perfect life to foster public worship, or to exercise other apostolic works, namely to engage in efforts of evangelization to animate the temporal order with the Christian spirit.
 
By the way CLOISTERS, my SD really did drill me on this thing with Vows. I’ll give you the same answer as her.

She asked me what’s stopping me from sitting right here before the Tabernacle and pledge my Vows. My response was simple but true: If I was a woman in love with a man would you tell me it’s ok to sit here before the Tabernacle and make wedding vows to him and be done with it? Or would you say “Get married?”

I am living the life. Now I want to formalize that which I am living.
 
Send that urge back to its source thrice. If it keeps returning, then act on it.

Love what the sister said. No chancery will entertain the thought of such a consecration unless the person has, indeed, lived the life.

Too bad the Marists are not willing. If they don’t see precedent, they won’t bother.
 
It won’t go away. That’s why Father sent me to the Archdiocean Vocation Director and suggested Spiritual Direction as well. I am very disappointed that it won’t even make Consideration with the Marist. Father Ed has been a wonderful instructor, mentor, cleric and friend and I so hate letting him down in the end.
 
She might be a woman under vows, but she would not be a “sister,” since that indicates relationship within community. A person under private vows is precisely that–a person under private vows.
 
No, you are not a Sister. You are Laity with Vows like a Sister would have.
 
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