NFP after miscarriage

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My wife and I recently abandoned NFP and adopted a whatever happens attititude. Well, very quikly, it happend. Then this week we lost the baby. We knew for sure of it’s existace for less than 24 hours, and already we loved it more than we could imagine. Our OB/GYN wants us to wait for two cycles before concieving again. Just wondering where we are in the cycle now. My wife has always had very regular cycles, but I would imagine things will be a bit out of rythm now. Wondering what to expect.

So hard to believe that we created a life, and it is now gone before we could meet it.
 
Honey, I feel your pain, I also lost a baby through miscarriage.

I’m surprised your doctor said 2 cycles. I was told to not ‘try’ for a year for physical and psychological reasons. I know myself would not have been psychological ready for a year. But you know God willing almost exactly a year later (I think it was a little less) we conceived our son. He is 2 now.
So pray now and be with your wife. This is a very hard time. I still sometimes mourn for my lost child. At only 10 weeks of gestation I still knew the baby was real.
I wouldn’t rush into it too soon. Let God do his will.
 
My condolences. Losing a child is somehting I hope to never experience, just having one in NICU for a while wondering if that might happen was bad enough. I have heard of miscarriage support / healing steps that you might want to look into if you have not already (naming the child, etc).

As for your question, use the start of the miscarraige bleeding as the beginning of a new cycle and chart from there. The first cycle will be wierd and on the long side. If you take temps, expect some instability for a while, probably levelling off several days before ovulation. It is important to chart though, in case the charts are needed to try to pin down an underlying problem that may have contributed to the loss of the pregnancy.
 
do you guys use the Creighton model of NFP? sometimes low progesterone can be the cause of miscarriage–although there are plenty of other reasons–but a Pope Paul IV family care center should be able to look at your charting and p(name removed by moderator)oint what sort of support you might need in future pregnancies. sometimes women need hormone shots throughout their pregnancy.

Be vigilant about discerning whether any cervical mucus is present. if there is mucus, you are fertile. since you need to abstain for the next two months, just check several times daily (per Creighton model, if you are familiar with that) and if you see mucus, you know to abstain.

Whatever method of NFP you trained in, you could call your teaching couple or fertility care practioner and ask them what you should do.

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. You have a little saint in heaven praying for you now.
 
I’m terribly sorry for the loss of your dear child. My doctor also said wait two months but the other poster is right, in God’s time. Please know if it makes you feel any better that miscarriage is very common and no indication of a problem you’ll have in the future. It’s just one of those things. At least you know you can get pregnant and no doubt you will be again soon. In the meantime, peace to you both, CM
 
😦 I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray for all of you.

As far as your charting goes, the time after a miscarriage should be considered fertile, because ovulation almost always takes place before the next menstruation. Your wife should start charting if she hasn’t already. Her temperature may remain high for a while before it drops down to the pre-ovulation level. While postponing your next pregnancy, it is suggested to abstain until sympto-thermal signs indicate that you are in Phase-3. In the meantime, make sure your wife is getting proper nutrition (see Marilyn Shannon’s Fertility Cycles and Nutrition for an excellent resource- she too experienced a miscarriage).

Again, I am so sorry for your losing your precious baby. I have never had to go through this tragedy, but know many who have. I also know of people who wanted to wait for a long period of time before trying again, and others who felt that trying again soonafter helped in the healing process. Again, I cannot relate and I don’t want to pretend to know what you must be going through, but I do want you to know that this happens to many people and they go on to have many healthy children. I also suggest looking for prayers for miscarriages; I’ve seen one from Mother Angelica somewhere that seemed to be comforting. God bless you!
 
I too lost a baby through miscarriage. I had to have a D&C afterwards.

Usually you should wait six weeks before resuming marital encounters to allow the body to heal, and prevent infection.

I got pregnant again eight weeks after my D&C. The body amazingly will heal quicker than it does emotionally. If you are ready to try again emotionally, everything should be okay.

God Bless,

Jennie
 
I am so sorry for your loss. Many people don’t seem to realize that you CAN love a child that you have only known for a short time. I have had 4 losses, and each one was a child I loved and grieved for.

As an OBGYN physician assistant, I can tell you it is not medically necessary to wait after a miscarriage. It is considered old school advice - especially if your wife did not have a D&C. (If that is the case, than like Jennie mentioned, you should wait 6 weeks before resuming intercourse). The other exception is if you have a molar pregnancy. Then you need to wait 6 months to a year or more.

You and your wife need to decide when she is ready, emotionally and physically. Some women want to wait longer than others do. My OB told me I SHOULD wait one cycle after my first loss, but then in the next breath he told me that his wife conceived immediately after her miscarriage, and that you are more fertile after a loss. We decided not to wait and leave it in God’s hands. We did conceive again almost immediately, but also miscarried again. (It was later determined that I had a cause for recurrent pregnancy loss, so please do not think that if you conceive soon after a loss you will automatically have another miscarriage).

If you do decide to wait, use the first day of bleeding from the miscarriage as cycle day number 1. Your wife MAY or MAY NOT have a “normal” cycle. Some women have a longer cycle after a miscarriage, up to 36-40+ days versus their regular 28 day cycle. Some go right back to their regular routine. But like a PP mentioned, be sure to pay close attention to her fertility signs (cervical mucous especially) in case things are atypical. My cycles were always very erratic after my miscarriages, inlcuding longer, heavier bleeding, cramping, longer cycle length. I decided just to forgo any method of trying to chart things and let whatever happen happen. But like I said, some women do go back to their normal pattern.

I will say some prayers tonight for you, your wife, and your baby. I hope you both are able to find some comfort soon.

J
 
I am so sorry for your loss. We experienced a miscarriage several months ago and it was (and still is) a painful experience. For us the experience was compounded by the fact it had still been too early for us to share the good news of our pregnancy with friends and family before we lost the baby. There were very few people who knew we were mourning the loss of a child, however short their life.

As far as nfp goes, the rule of thumb is that fertility is often immediate right after a pregnancy. My fertility signs indicated this within a few days after our miscarriage. The cycle was unusually long for me but the following month was back to my normal regular cycle length. Does your wife have a short luteal phase? That is sometimes a possible reason for miscarriage (it probably was in my case.) Progesterone or the vitamin optivite is supposed to help lengthen the luteal phase and improve the opportunity for carrying a baby to full term.
 
I was told to wait 2 months after my miscarriage and I got pregnant the third month after my miscarriage in 1997 so I actually got pregnant the first month we tried and everything went really well, it is pretty unusual to have repeated miscarriages for most couples but if you do they have more and more help now to pin point why and what can be done to stop it from happening, I know my friend had to take a round of anti biotics before trying to get pregnant, really weird but it worked and she carried the pregnancy to term after having 5 miscarriages, her body would attack the fetus for some reason but they tried a new doc and he had them try this and everything turned out wonderful, sometimes we just don’t know the why but it still hurts, I know I was only aware of my pregnancy for 2 weeks and it still hurt so bad and then during my next pregnancy I was so scared until the last month of my pregnancy, one day at a time is all I can say, praying for you!!!
 
Thanks so much for all the kind words and prayers. We shared the news this weekend with our family (No one even knew we were pregnant yet). We had lots of support and prayers for us.

My wife and I never realy learned any detailed methods of NFP, we used only temperatures and good old fashioned rythm. We decided that my wife should go on her buisness trip planned for this week if for no other reason than to help take her mind off our loss. She left for China this morning and a 13 hour time change. I realize now that temperature charting with the disruption to her sleep cycle will be useless at best. I know what the right thing to do is, and that is to abstain for the next month. Part of me wants to leave it in God’s hands and see what happens, but I could not handle the guilt if we were irresponsible and endagered either my wifes health or lost another child if we got pregnant too soon.

I’m rambling, but it helps my thought process. I guess this will be a test of our faith. We are tempted to return to a contraceptive attitude, if only for a few months. But l can’t let that camel put his nose in the tent.
 
clskier-

I ,too, am very sorry for your loss. My wife and I went thru a miscarriage 3 mos. ago. It was a big loss to both of us- and still hurts on some days- but it has gotten better.

Our doc suggested we wait 3 mos. but as posted above, this seemed to be more for psych reasons rather than physical.

I also looked at the event as a test of faith- and I can tell you faith made all the difference. We lost a baby 7 years ago thru miscarrige (before my reversion to the faith) and this time it was easier (if that is possible). It made more sense- it had a purpose- we had been given the wonderful gift of co-creating life with God, and one more soul existed in heaven praising our Lord. This thought gives me great comfort. When I am at Mass and we sing the “Holy holy holy”, I picture my babes praising the Lord with our family on earth- we are united at the moment in honoring God. This gives me great peace (I had read this in one of Scott Hahn’s books- I think it comforting and beautiful).

God bless,

Todd
 
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