NFP disagreement in Marriage - From CA -Live Radio

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Ahzael

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On Tuesday, during the Catholic Answers Live radio program someone called in and asked what were his responsibilities in the marriage in regard to intimate relations with his wife if he was adamantly for NFP and his wife was adamantly against it and for artificial contraception( in that case, the pill). I’m in a very similar situation but by wife wants me to either be sterilized(no way!) or use condoms. My wife’s life and health were put in danger in the three pregancies we’ve had; in the first, the baby died in a miscarriage because of my wife’s weaked state. Our youngest was concieved while we were using NFP and she was nursing our older child. She " doesn’t want to make the same mistake". I was not able to hear what the Karl Keating recommended to the caller the other day, so I am writing to see if I can get help. I will try to convince my wife to use NFP, and perhaps she may, once the youngest child is weaned off, but what do I do until then? (We have taken the NFP classes at our diocese and heard the Contraception- Why not? tape. My wife is not catholic and refuses to submit to the Churches teaching. Also, if she uses non chemical/abortificent birth control against my preference, and we have intercourse, am I guilty of sin as well?) Thanks for your help in this difficult position.
 
One thing…

from your post it appears as if you guys were having marital relations while your wife was breast feeding. The recomendations from our teaching couple was that to be absolutely sure to avoid pregnancy during this time you should totally abstain. Especially if you are not exclusively breast feeding and supplementing.

You need the advice of a very good and NFP literate priest. CAll teh Couple to Couple league and maybe they can put you in touch with a priest.
 
To answer your last question: No, you are not guilty of sin as well. If you have done your best to educate your wife and explain your position (it appears that you have), then engaging in the conjugal act while your wife uses contraception is not sinful.
 
I heard this broadcast and I believe Karl said the husband MAY be commiting a sin if he has relations with his wife if he knows she is using the pill and possibly contributing to an abortion. This is not what I am saying, just what I recall Karl saying.I know you can listen to the broadcast on the intiernet at catholic.com. In the end, Karl advised the gentleman to call the apolgetics line because it was a delicate topinc that needed a lot of time and attention.
In any case, does your wife no what those pills can do to her? Perhaps she should consider other forms of female birth control that do not end in abortion, if she insists on using something. Perhaps a diaphragm. (Although, NFP is the only option for you to take part in.)

Sorry I can’t be more helpfull…
🙂 Lilder
 
I thank the three of you for your help. I’m sure there are others in my situation out there that will also benefit from this. I only wish that an NFP literate priest would have also joined the discussion as the first post recommended I seek their advice.
 
My understanding is that the action of hormonal cotraceptives is that they sometimes fail, and intermediate cases are possible where their action prevents implantation of an embryo after conception, causing its death (in other words “abortifacient”)

The thread Politics - feminism has a lot of information about this particular idea. forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=6620
 
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Ahzael:
On Tuesday, during the Catholic Answers Live radio program someone called in and asked what were his responsibilities in the marriage in regard to intimate relations with his wife if he was adamantly for NFP and his wife was adamantly against it and for artificial contraception( in that case, the pill). I’m in a very similar situation but by wife wants me to either be sterilized(no way!) or use condoms. My wife’s life and health were put in danger in the three pregancies we’ve had; in the first, the baby died in a miscarriage because of my wife’s weaked state. Our youngest was concieved while we were using NFP and she was nursing our older child. She " doesn’t want to make the same mistake". I was not able to hear what the Karl Keating recommended to the caller the other day, so I am writing to see if I can get help. I will try to convince my wife to use NFP, and perhaps she may, once the youngest child is weaned off, but what do I do until then? (We have taken the NFP classes at our diocese and heard the Contraception- Why not? tape. My wife is not catholic and refuses to submit to the Churches teaching. Also, if she uses non chemical/abortificent birth control against my preference, and we have intercourse, am I guilty of sin as well?) Thanks for your help in this difficult position.
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Hi Ahzael,

A touchy situation, indeed. Do take the suggestion that was made by lilder and listen to the show in the archives section of our web page.

In the meantime, you are more than welcome to call our office and speak with our priest chaplain, Fr. Vincent Serpa (since you noted that you wished a priest would have joined this thread). Our office number, as you may know, is 619-387-7200.

Or, best of all, call the boss himself (Karl :cool: ) on a Tuesday Q & A show and ask him to reiterate what he said to the caller who asked about this recently 😃

Will pray that you and your wife find peace and a Godly solution to the challenge you’re facing.

God bless.

Jerry
 
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