NFP doesn't feel different than ABC

[Nate13]

I think I should start using the word conscience instead of feeling. I think this is a good attempt at an explanation. However, I would venture to say that someone’s conscience, even though they might have convinced themselves they were committing a compassionate act, would bother them at the time they were taking someone’s life. God’s law is written in our hearts.

Not if you had done it over and over again. We do this all the time though. For instance the first time a person sky dives they are probably thinking it through over and over again and if they really want to do it. However after those first couple times they are going to stop thinking about it. The plane door is going to open and they are just going to jump right out unless something comes along they haven’t heard of that makes them question what they are doing again. Think back to when the decision to use contraception was first made and whether there was ever anything that held you back in the decision. In essence though my point is that once we think through a decision the first time, we shut down our consciences there after because the decision has already been made. Unless new information comes around we don’t usually revisit it.

1792 Ignorance of Christ and his Gospel, bad example given by others, enslavement to one’s passions, assertion of a mistaken notion of autonomy of conscience, rejection of the Church’s authority and her teaching, lack of conversion and of charity: these can be at the source of errors of judgment in moral conduct.

It’s important to note that our conscience is not an autonomous thing. It requires our (name removed by moderator)ut and outside knowledge in order to be of service. If we don’t inform our conscience we can’t expect it to be there when we need it.

However your point is also valid:

1776 "Deep within his conscience man discovers a law which he has not laid upon himself but which he must obey. Its voice, ever calling him to love and to do what is good and to avoid evil, sounds in his heart at the right moment. . . . For man has in his heart a law inscribed by God. . . . His conscience is man’s most secret core and his sanctuary. There he is alone with God whose voice echoes in his depths."47

Its important to understand there is a balance between these two notions. Yes, God’s law is written on our hearts and we can listen to it by way of our conscience, but our conscience is not an autonomous thing and we can’t expect it to be there if we have not taken the time to inform it as well.

 

[mark_a]

Secondly there is another issue here that I haven’t really delved into. This feeling of NFP not being any different than ABC developed after I found a reliable form of NFP. I became pregnant twice while using a less reliable method. It wasn’t what I would have planned otherwise, but it was a great blessing and a radical experiment in trusting God. I am fairly certain that I now won’t become pregnant without my husband and I actually trying to. So, the fact that I seem to have such a level of control over my fertility FEELS just like when I was using ABC. So actually maybe the problem here is that I am willing to accept that ABC is wrong and I’m wondering why does using NFP feel just the same?

May I suggest that you stop using nfp and just take what God gives you. NFP is not much different than ABC when used for the wrong reasons.

I know that feelings are unreliable; I’ve stated that before. But perhaps I am talking more about conscience. An informed conscience should be a better guide. If I didn’t have access to books and Catholic Answers, I don’t think my conscience would reliably guide me on matters of fertility. Why is that?

Because an informed conscience and a properly formed conscience are not exactly the same.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

I think I should start using the word conscience instead of feeling. I think this is a good attempt at an explanation. However, I would venture to say that someone’s conscience, even though they might have convinced themselves they were committing a compassionate act, would bother them at the time they were taking someone’s life. God’s law is written in our hearts.

Talking to God about this (and listening) is key. I doubt that any one here will be able to convert your heart on this they way God can.

 

[Inthemountains]

Talking to God about this (and listening) is key. I doubt that any one here will be able to convert your heart on this they way God can.

That is the problem. I have been. This issue is very confusing to me and it seems like God would be more clear about such a serious moral issue.

May I suggest that you stop using nfp and just take what God gives you. NFP is not much different than ABC when used for the wrong reasons.

I would desperately love to throw myself on God’s mercy and trust Him by accepting new life. I have a strong desire to have another baby. My husband is even talking about it. We have several serious reasons not to, though. Maybe this is why NFP feels the same to me as ABC. In both cases I’m not willing to see past my circumstances and trust God. The means of avoiding are different. But the lack of trust and the reliance on my own human perceptions of my circumstances are the same.

 

[tafan]

For some reason, this teaching of the church is just difficult for some to understand, even after reading and studying the issue in quite a bit of detail. The late William F Buckeley was certainly no intellectual lightweight, certainly took his catholic faith very seriously, yet did not understand the church’s reasoning that contraception was immoral, but he was willing to submit to the church.

Comparing this to Adam and Eve’s first sin is really not helpful. They, having no Concupiscence certainly had no inclination to sin or to even question God’s commandment.

 

[fred_conty]

Back in the 60’s I listened to a radio host show each Sunday evening.
He mentioned one time how aweful it was that the monks had to abstain
from eating meat. That they were being deprived of necessary protein
which they needed. Then he went on about poor Catholics who HAD
to eat that fish on Friday every week and how terrible for them to be
deprived of that wonderful beef, and the church should waken up to
be more sensitive to the needs of the people. Blah, Blah, Blah…

And now what would we say to him today about all of that?

I remember in the 60’s the church warned people not to take the pill
when it first came out and the church is old fashioned, Blah, Blah, Blah…
In the 70’s, what happened to all those who didn’t listen? The dreaded “C”.

We see today that the church condemns abortion and knows the aweful
things it will cause in those that do it. The world says Blah, Blah, Blah…
The women who have experienced it, what do they say?

Now the Pope says, it goes against the man and woman being one as God
intended, and puts up an emotional barrier between them and will dampen
their love. It will do damage to the marriage. The openess is
diminished and the closeness will fade. But we don’t see these things right
away. They are not apparent and so we conclude that they are not true.
But in the end, over time, the truth becomes known, and a sometimes too late.

God knows everything. The problem is, we don’t. So why don’t we listen.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

That is the problem. I have been. This issue is very confusing to me and it seems like God would be more clear about such a serious moral issue.

When I have asked for undstanding of, say one of the mysteries of the faith, I often feel like I understand it temporarily. I see it, but if I try to touch it it’s gone; they are mysteries and I may not fully understand them in this life. However, if I’m struggling with obediance or humbling my will to God it just doesn’t seem to happen, I don’t get a glimpse of it (at least not until really submit and trust God through his church) If I didn’t really struggle with it or it wasn’t something I was really invested in (e.g., for me, female priesthood) the help in understanding was easy; it was like a healing washed over me. And no more struggle.

I would desperately love to throw myself on God’s mercy and trust Him by accepting new life. I have a strong desire to have another baby. My husband is even talking about it. We have several serious reasons not to, though. Maybe this is why NFP feels the same to me as ABC. In both cases I’m not willing to see past my circumstances and trust God. The means of avoiding are different. But the lack of trust and the reliance on my own human perceptions of my circumstances are the same.

If wish I could offer more but I don’t know what “trusting God” will look like for you in this situation. It sounds like you are still prayerfully discerning. If you are using NFP and believe you have serious reasons, I wouldn’t worry too much about not feeling the difference between the two. You are being obediant and prayerfully discerning. It might have to be that simple for a time.