NFP, Second Baby, etc

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Serenity412

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My husband and I just convalidated our marriage last month. We’ve been legally married since August 2015. We have a 14 month old…yes we had her before we were married. We were thinking about having another child in the next year or so. I have a heart condition and found out I might need a 2nd open heart surgery. We are not sure what to do. My pregnancy with our daughter was pretty much a breeze. As soon as I delivered her I had to have epi because my heart started slowing down.I ended up needing 3 blood transfusions because my body had to readjust pumping blood for just one instead of two.
We are now wondering what we should do? Should we just put our faith in God that everything will be OK if we have another child? Should we wait? I dont want to end up getting pregnant and something bad happening with the second child and leaving my family alone.
We’ve been doing our best to practice NFP as much as possible.
 
This decision is totally up to you and your husband. You may want to consult with your doctors, and get their feedback on how safe or risky a pregnancy at this time might be. NFP, as you know, is licit to use for however long you and your husband discern you have a just reason to use it.

This decision is a prudential decision, not a moral one. I pray God blesses you and your husband in your discernment. And congratulations on having your marriage convalidated recently!
 
jmjZelie said:
This decision is totally up to you and your husband. You may want to consult with your doctors, and get their feedback on how safe or risky a pregnancy at this time might be. NFP, as you know, is licit to use for however long you and your husband discern you have a just reason to use it.

This decision is a prudential decision, not a moral one. I pray God blesses you and your husband in your discernment. And congratulations on having your marriage convalidated recently!
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👍
 
Exsultet said:
Does the Church say just reason or grave reason?
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“Just” reason is in the Catechism (bold added by me):

2368: A particular aspect of this responsibility concerns the regulation of procreation. For just reasons, spouses may wish to space the births of their children. It is their duty to make certain that their desire is not motivated by selfishness but is in conformity with the generosity appropriate to responsible parenthood. Moreover, they should conform their behavior to the objective criteria of morality. (This is followed by a quote from Gaudium et Spes, section 51.)
 
Exsultet said:
Thanks! That’s very helpful.
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You’re welcome! 🙂

In Humanae Vitae, the wording is slightly different, and refers to “well-grounded reasons…arising from the physical or psychological condition of the husband or wife…or external circumstances.” But the spirit is essentially the same.
 
Serenity412 said:
My husband and I just convalidated our marriage last month. We’ve been legally married since August 2015. We have a 14 month old…yes we had her before we were married. We were thinking about having another child in the next year or so. I have a heart condition and found out I might need a 2nd open heart surgery. We are not sure what to do. My pregnancy with our daughter was pretty much a breeze. As soon as I delivered her I had to have epi because my heart started slowing down.I ended up needing 3 blood transfusions because my body had to readjust pumping blood for just one instead of two.
We are now wondering what we should do? Should we just put our faith in God that everything will be OK if we have another child? Should we wait? I dont want to end up getting pregnant and something bad happening with the second child and leaving my family alone.
We’ve been doing our best to practice NFP as much as possible.
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This is completely up to you and your husband. Period. My wife has serious health problems. The gravity of which would fall into the use of nfp. We choose not to practice nfp. This is a choice a couple must dicern.
 
RPRPsych said:
You’re welcome! 🙂

In Humanae Vitae, the wording is slightly different, and refers to “well-grounded reasons…arising from the physical or psychological condition of the husband or wife…or external circumstances.” But the spirit is essentially the same.
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The church has used both “just” and “grave”.

What does the CCC say in other languages?
 
I agree with what’s been said so far. Pray, speak with your doctors, maybe talk with your priest or a spiritual director if you feel the need… and pray some more. 😉

Just something else to think about, though: the way your first pregnancy and labor went for you is not necessarily the way another pregnancy and/or labor will go for you.

Will :gopray2: for you!
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
The church has used both “just” and “grave”.

What does the CCC say in other languages?
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From the Vatican website:

French: “justes raisons” (just reasons)
Latin: “iustis causis” (just / good reasons)
Spanish: “razones justificadas” (justifiable reasons)
Portuguese: “razões justificadas” (justifiable reasons)

(There are also versions in Latvian, Chinese and Spanish, but I leave those for better souls to translate).

If we take the Latin text as authoritative, then “just” or “good” is probably the best descriptor, at least in the CCC.

If we go further back, the 1932 Response of the Sacred Penitentiary (under Pius XI) addressing the use of non-fertile periods uses “just and serious” reasons. 🙂
 
RPRPsych said:
From the Vatican website:

French: “justes raisons” (just reasons)
Latin: “iustis causis” (just / good reasons)
Spanish: “razones justificadas” (justifiable reasons)
Portuguese: “razões justificadas” (justifiable reasons)

(There are also versions in Latvian, Chinese and Spanish, but I leave those for better souls to translate).

If we take the Latin text as authoritative, then “just” or “good” is probably the best descriptor, at least in the CCC.

If we go further back, the 1932 Response of the Sacred Penitentiary (under Pius XI) addressing the use of non-fertile periods uses “just and serious” reasons. 🙂
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Thanks! I love this kind of stuff!

Here is another article from ewtn about it.
ewtn.com/expert/answers/nfp_serious_motives.htm
 
Serenity412 said:
…We are now wondering what we should do? Should we just put our faith in God that everything will be OK if we have another child? Should we wait? I dont want to end up getting pregnant and something bad happening with the second child and leaving my family alone.
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You ask should you avoid a pregnancy or not. Only you and husband, with benefit of medical advice, can make that decision.
 
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