No 'awareness' when I'm doing things

[Flopfoot]

I have this problem (yes, another one). I often plan to try and do good things - thinking about situations I’ll be in in future, what God might want me to do or say there, etc. I also look back on things I’ve done a lot and think about what I should have done, what God would have wanted me to do. However, when I’m actually ‘doing’ things, it’s like my mind goes blank or something - Later, when I look back at that time (a time when I had a chance to do what God wanted), I can’t remember exactly what thoughts I had at the time but obviously I wasn’t all too aware of what I was doing because I didn’t think about the things I’d thought about earlier and what God wanted me to do, and hence didn’t really do it. I hope I’m making sense here. I don’t mean that I’m always committing serious sins and things like that, it’s more that I don’t do positive things when I have a chance to, and also sometimes that I say thing I later regret. Later I look back and think “Why didn’t I do that / say that / why Did I say that? Wasn’t I thinking at the time?” This is especially (pretty much always) when I’m with other people. The planning and reminicisng, when I think about what I should do or should have done, is when I’m by myself, not talking to anyone. I’m not sure exactly what it is. Maybe if life was more like a game of chess (ie, I have time to think about my ‘moves’ before I make them) then I might be alright at it. But maybe since life isn’t like that, I get caught up in the real-time, speed of everything moving around me and I don’t have the time to plan out what I should do. Sometimes I even think that the Holy Spirit is with me to help me plan and aspire to do good, but then when the time comes around for doing it He just leaves me to do it alone. I’ve got no idea why this would happen though. Anyone know whats the matter with me and how I can fix it?

 

[dulcissima]

I think a lot of this has to do with age and experience. Once you start having more familiarity with different situations, then you will have an easier time negotiating your way through them. You sound like you may be a little bit like me, I tend to think things through a lot, and sometimes freeze up or get tongue tied in certain situations. I think that can get better with age. I am 38 now, and in some ways have an easier time. I think what is most important is to just relax and be yourself.

By the way, the Holy Spirit hasn’t left you. Here is my favorite prayer to the Holy Spirit:

“I am going to reveal to you the secret of sanctity and happiness.* Everyday for five minutes control your imagination and close your ears to all the noises of the world, in order to speak to that Divine Spirit, saying to Him:”

O, HOLY SPIRIT, beloved of my soul,

I ADORE YOU.

ENLIGHTEN me, GUIDE me,

STRENGTHEN me, CONSOLE me.

TELL ME what I SHOULD DO.

GIVE ME your ORDERS.

I PROMISE to SUBMIT myself

to ALL that YOU DESIRE of me

and to ACCEPT ALL

that YOU PERMIT

to HAPPEN to me.

Let me ONLY KNOW YOUR WILL

“If you do this your life will flow along happily and serenely and full of consolation, even in the midst of trials.* Grace will be proportioned to the trial, and you will arrive at the gate of merit.* This submission to the Holy Spirit is the secret of sanctity.”

– Cardinal Mercier

 

[KatarinaTherese]

I have exactly the same problem. I’m great at planning and thinking up situations, but I forget everything that I would have done if I had a second longer to think when things happen (which, of course, are not what I expect). And I think, am I really going to care about this later on?

I wish I was half as good as living as I am thinking.

 

[AquinasXVI]

Flopfoot:

There’s many ways. One is to have a chime every 10 minutes that we can say an aspiration: e.g. Dominus ut videam (Lord, that I may see!) or any verse in the bible that you would like to repeat throughout the day. This will help us be in the constant awareness of the Presence of God. Icons and prayer cards-surround yourself with things that will remind you of the cross of Christ and his saints and his mother. Office space, car, bedroom, livingroom–again these are beacons that will constantly pull you up and remind you of the supernatural and interior life.

Mortification is also a good one. Offer up little sacrifices throughtout the day for your intentions-so you have a physical expression of what you’re trying to do spiritually.

It is good that you have examined yourself to recognize that you can go on for hours on a purely human level…this is your soul beginning to tell you that body mind will heart and soul should be working together. This is a good sign for you.

Hope these suggestions assist.

in XT.

 

[little_flower_1]

you say it feels like the Holy Spirit is abandoning you in these moments with ppl? well, maybe He is withdrawing Himself in a way and if He is there is surely a purpose to this. we can plan and plan and plan to do good and always desire to be perfect but we are human beings and it is a fact that, while on earth, we will fall a thousand times a day, sometimes in big things and sometimes in small things. although we should hardly be complacent with our faults it is important that we learn to accept ourselves, never letting our shortcomings disturb our peace of mind because we rest in God and not in ourselves.

there is a quote i love from st. therese (of course, lol):

To a novice who spoke of her desire for more strength and energy with which “to practice virtue” Thérèse countered: “And suppose God wishes to have you as feeble and powerless as a child? Do you think that would be less worthy in God’s eyes? Consent to stumble, or even to fall at every step, to bear your cross feebly; love your weakness. Your soul will draw more profit from that than if, sustained by grace, you vigorously performed heroic deeds which would fill your soul with self-satisfaction and pride.”

maybe this is God’s way with you. i frequently find myself in the same position and it is indeed humbling to see yourself so ready in your plans but always so very weak in action. but this will change, just keep recollecting yourself in God when you’ve found your mind has (inevitably) wandered and persevere in this. if you do this, even though to you it may always seem you are not doing enough or that your efforts are just pitiful, because your thoughts and actions keep getting away from you, you will still profit greatly.