No kissing until engaged?

[kristinamassa]

I recently decided I don’t want to kiss anyone else until it’s the person I’m engaged to. I’m not doing this because kissing is “bad, edgy, or immoral;” Rather, it’s because kissing isn’t seen as a big deal, but I want to make it one between me and my future spouse. I’ve kissed a few people in my life (I’m 20), so I’ve never had experience in the dating world with this as a goal for me. So I was just wondering what anyone thinks about this from a male perspective… or if you are a female, and you did this with your spouse/fiancé, please let me know what you did to keep the promise and how you introduced the idea to your boyfriend/ their reaction.

 

[CelticWarlord]

I recently decided I don’t want to kiss anyone else until it’s the person I’m engaged to.

My wife did the same thing. When we married I was 23 and she was 22. It was a very powerful feeling to know she had saved even this for only one person; me. I’d kissed a few girls but wish I hadn’t.

 

[runningdude]

It is a noble goal. For it to be achievable, I would recommend you stay away from casually dating until you are in a position to marry (after college, or otherwise fiscally stable). No guy, especially a devout Catholic guy, would refuse to date you because of this.

However, said guy must be on the same track of being relatively ready to marry. Casual dating will seem cheap and frustrating if you steadfastly keep this goal. Really this speaks to the emptiness of casual dating rather than any defect in saving such affections for marriage.

Instead of dating, develop friendships within the faith where there is a strong boundary. Eventually, someone worthy might just push up to that boundary, at which point dating to discern engagement and marriage would be appropriate.

 

[1ke]

I had a friend in college who didn’t kiss her husband until their kiss at the altar. They’ve been married over 30 years and have 5 kids. Seems like it worked for them.

I think this is something that you just have to discuss with a person you eventually date, decide if it’s a deal breaker for you if they aren’t in agreement, then be prepared that it is pretty counter cultural and may restrict your dating pool. Not saying that’s good or bad, it just is. If you are OK with that, and the “no kissing” is what you really want— that’s fine.

 

[Guest1]

I’m a woman @kristinamassa
I hope you don’t mind if I share with you a Catholic dating website?
If you feel you’re called to marriage maybe the website will help you one day.

Catholic can correct me if I’m wrong but I think it’s easier to marry a fellow Catholic… for example with the topic of birth control.

 

[Irishmom2]

What do you mean you are going to share her with a website? That doesn’t seem to be something you should be doing for anyone but yourself.