No malice on my part. Really need input!

  • Thread starter Thread starter 1990Domer
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Allegra said:
I think it currently stands for Parish School of Religion, though it’s commonly referred to as Public School Religion. Many Catholic school teachers, like so many others in our society, feel that in order to self-justify their own life choices (eg. choosing to teach in a Catholic school or sending their own children to a Catholic school) they have to criticize, and even demonize those who do not choose the same. From their standpoint, public school kids are innately ill-behaved, illiterate, too liberal, and don’t care about their faith. Their parents are too selfish with their time and money to really care about their kids, teach them discipline, or make certain they are active in parish activities. (The last one is especially funny, since these same women intentionally plan parish activities to make it difficult for the public school kids to attend.)
Click to expand...
Here’s a funny story from my son’s Confirmation retreat. It was attended by his class and the public school kids. I heard from multiple sources on the retreat that the Catholic school kids who were on bus 3 (my son was on bus 1) were the rudest, snottiness and I’ll-behaved kids of the bunch. They just held this entitlement attitude. And sadly, the Catholic school was really terrible in disciplining kids when they did wrong. Worst than the public school. We sense it was because the school is losing enrollment and the principal was afraid if he gave harsh punishments, the parents would pull their kids. So sad.

I have to say that the Catholic kids that attended public school (my son did attend public school for a while when his autism diagnosis was more prominent) turned out to be the kindest, most tolerate kids we have known.
 
1990Domer said:
Here’s a funny story from my son’s Confirmation retreat. It was attended by his class and the public school kids. I heard from multiple sources on the retreat that the Catholic school kids who were on bus 3 (my son was on bus 1) were the rudest, snottiness and I’ll-behaved kids of the bunch. They just held this entitlement attitude. And sadly, the Catholic school was really terrible in disciplining kids when they did wrong. Worst than the public school. We sense it was because the school is losing enrollment and the principal was afraid if he gave harsh punishments, the parents would pull their kids. So sad.

I have to say that the Catholic kids that attended public school (my son did attend public school for a while when his autism diagnosis was more prominent) turned out to be the kindest, most tolerate kids we have known.
Click to expand...
Our parish’s confirmation retreat was scheduled for three week days, which happened to be the last three days of the semester at the public middle school. Essentially, they scheduled the retreat during finals because, “the public school kids wouldn’t go anyway.” What it comes to is the parents pay good money to keep their kids away from what they consider to be riff raff. They would just as soon not have their child interacting with contaminated children on a retreat. If the bishop would allow it, they’d have two separate Confirmation Masses! They already have two Masses for first Communion. A parent told me, “It’s supposed to be a special day for their kids to celebrate with their own friends.” I actually had a lady in my CRHP team who had to attend two first Communion Masses for her sons that are in the same grade because one of them is blind and has to attend a special school!
 
Allegra said:
Our parish’s confirmation retreat was scheduled for three week days, which happened to be the last three days of the semester at the public middle school. Essentially, they scheduled the retreat during finals because, “the public school kids wouldn’t go anyway.” What it comes to is the parents pay good money to keep their kids away from what they consider to be riff raff. They would just as soon not have their child interacting with contaminated children on a retreat. If the bishop would allow it, they’d have two separate Confirmation Masses! They already have two Masses for first Communion. A parent told me, “It’s supposed to be a special day for their kids to celebrate with their own friends.” I actually had a lady in my CRHP team who had to attend two first Communion Masses for her sons that are in the same grade because one of them is blind and has to attend a special school!
Click to expand...
Riff raff? Are you kidding me? (I know you’re not.) What kind of Christian values are those parents and teachers displaying to the future disciples of the RCC? SMH.
 
1990Domer said:
Riff raff? Are you kidding me? (I know you’re not.) What kind of Christian values are those parents and teachers displaying to the future disciples of the RCC? SMH.
Click to expand...
Sadly, only a small percentage of them ARE future disciples of the RCC. But at least they look spiffy in plaid pinafores. Then when they grow up they can make up stories about how mean the nuns were. (the non-existent nuns)
 
Allegra said:
Sadly, only a small percentage of them ARE future disciples of the RCC. But at least they look spiffy in plaid pinafores. Then when they grow up they can make up stories about how mean the nuns were. (the non-existent nuns)
Click to expand...
Oh my, I need to say more rosaries!
 
=1990Domer;13175088]I am glad to hear it is happening in other places, as it has been very slow to catch on here. I have been met with resistance for years. Sadly, we lost many Catholic families over this issue. I have reached out to the Archdiocese. Sadly, I think they have much more pressing matters to deal with. They do not have any funds to invest in starting a project like this.
Click to expand...
We need understanding more than we need funds. I think part it is this ridiculous cultural notion of people running around saying how much they “care” :rolleyes: but I suspect it when it comes time to make a REAL sacrifice, it isn’t happening.
My son has Aspergers. He is very smart, very pious, but he lacks age-appropriate social skills. Teens can be clever…he is naive. The smell that and take advantage of him. Despite brining in my son’s therapist to explain and educate the teachers, they still didn’t get it. Their not getting it made life worse for my son. It wasn’t malice by the teachers…it was simple ignorance. My role is to at least open the door and help cathechists who have children who can fly under the wire with their diagnosis (read: the can function well in mainstream classes with little intervention) to not make matters worse or to not allow bullying to happen. This is foster caring and acceptance of these kids.
Click to expand...
I have that too, so I can relate to all that. Part of the problem in my case was that the kids thought they could get away with bad behavior because it wasn’t school. I eventually had to tell the religion teacher that sending them to our RE principal in so many words wasn’t working, and that the priest would need to get involved.

Some of this starts at home, too, with parents just dropping their kids off at RE and thinking they are doing their duty. --It’s also probably why they are (here’s that word again) SURPRISED when the education system is reprogramming them behind their backs. :rolleyes:

Understanding a person with disabilities does take time, training and effort. It requires more than just the nonsense of “bleeding heart” caring and self-generated tear-jerker moments----it WILL take time , effort and sacrifice to be successful.
 
SuperLuigi said:
We need understanding more than we need funds. I think part it is this ridiculous cultural notion of people running around saying how much they “care” :rolleyes: but I suspect it when it comes time to make a REAL sacrifice, it isn’t happening.

I have that too, so I can relate to all that. Part of the problem in my case was that the kids thought they could get away with bad behavior because it wasn’t school. I eventually had to tell the religion teacher that sending them to our RE principal in so many words wasn’t working, and that the priest would need to get involved.

Some of this starts at home, too, with parents just dropping their kids off at RE and thinking they are doing their duty. --It’s also probably why they are (here’s that word again) SURPRISED when the education system is reprogramming them behind their backs. :rolleyes:

Understanding a person with disabilities does take time, training and effort. It requires more than just the nonsense of “bleeding heart” caring and self-generated tear-jerker moments----it WILL take time , effort and sacrifice to be successful.
Click to expand...
I think I understand, but could expound on your last paragraph? I am not sure what you mean by tear-jerker moments.
 
Monicad,

Thank you for your kind words. I do feel honored, blessed and scared. I am going to make it upbeat and with, as you suggested, a heartfelt thank you.

Also, thank you for the resources, which is something I am compiling now.

I am hoping some REC directors attend. Right now, the goal is not to change curriculum but to decrease bullying of kids that have disabilities but can function in a mainstream environment. Sadly, we are far from having a dedicated special needs Religious Ed program. We can barely get teachers.😦

From a previous Church, my hope to have a special learning style (without curriculum change) was not received well by the REC director. Her way or the highway. We took the highway and home-schooled. Thank goodness we had that option.
 
Dacinom said:
What a blessing that you have been invited to give this talk! I am the parent of a child with a disability and you can be assured of my prayers!

I will link one resource here. It is the “National Catholic Partnership on Disability” this is actually the branch of the USCCB assigned to help outreach to Catholics with disabilities. I urge you to visit their website for ideas, suggestions, teaching materials and links.

ncpd.org/

On a personal note, my suggestion is to begin your talk with compliments to your audience. Do your best to tell your attendees that you know they care about children with disabilities but have not been given the resources. Tell them that you know they are caring people or they wouldn’t be Catechists! This is not to be false or manipulative, but to be honest and to establish from the start that you are on their side. Teachers usually have had more than a few experiences of parents upset that their child has been left on the sidelines, especially children with special needs. My concern would be that if the teachers in your audience felt in any way, that the tone of your talk was complaining about how your child was not included they would get defensive and that’s not what you want if you desire to be effective.

Unfortunately your talk is being given to teachers and catechists, not the directors of religious education. Teachers generally don’t have the power to change the curriculum or direct how resources are purchased. What you can do is urge these teachers to make these resources known to the directors and encourage them to bring these materials to their pastors and expand their outreach in their own individual parishes.

You want the people leaving your talk to feel excited and energized! We are the Catholic church and we want to be the best and the brightest! You want the people to be beacons of light! Each person will be sitting in your talk for a reason. The Holy Spirit draw exactly who He wants to hear you for His reasons. It might not hurt to mention that either.
Click to expand...
I should have mentioned that my talk came out of a conversation I had with my pastor about bullying in our Catholic school. Kids who were mildly on the spectrum but certainly academically capable of a mainstream classroom were being bullied and isolated by their classmates. Teachers were blaming the kid for his/her struggles with social skills. So, this will be mostly a talk on acting in a Christlike way if you have a child (like mine) in your class.
 
Our parish is very blessed to be able the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd cgsusa.org/ which is Montessori based and suggested for children on the autism spectrum.
 
Dacinom said:
Okay that helps a lot! I am sorry I misunderstood completely. When you mentioned in your original post that your pastor was concerned about meeting the spiritual needs of those with disabilities, and that the parishes and religious ed programs were not serving them…I made the assumption it was about education, inclusion, curriculum, support, behaviors, etc. My apologies I didn’t get that the crux of your talk was going to be about bullying.

I can imagine how (in some circumstances) that a teacher could mistake certain behaviors of children on the spectrum as misbehavior. Is there a way to encourage discussion with the parents to try and discover individual strategies that work with the child? I have heard the saying “When you meet one person with autism, you have met **one **person with autism” meaning one person’s autism does not translate to a representation of the group of people at ALL. This seems also to be a discussion/focus on how the teacher should handle the other children in the classroom who may be tending toward bullying/isolating.

Dear one you are bearing this heavy cross of uncertainty. It is understandable why you would feel a great deal of pressure to say “just the right thing” to touch the hearts and minds of the people that are going to hear you. Take rest in the fact that God has known from all eternity that YOU were going to give this presentation. Remember too, that your presentation might not change everyone’s minds/hearts at once, but minimally you could be planting a seed that could grow into great fruit later on.

Please do you best to prepare (as I know you will) but then try not to worry because God will be with you if you open yourself to Him:

**Luke 12: 11-12 **“When they take you before synagogues and before rulers and authorities, do not worry about how or what your defense will be or about what you are to say. For the Holy Spirit will teach you at that moment what you should say.”

Please be assured of my prayers and take care as best as you can.
Click to expand...
I am sorry I didn’t make myself clear, but you clearly understand what I am up against–people choosing to live out God’s words in their classrooms. I have more to write but am falling asleep. I will post tomorrow. God bless you and yours.
 
1990Domer said:
I am sorry I didn’t make myself clear, but you clearly understand what I am up against–people choosing to live out God’s words in their classrooms. I have more to write but am falling asleep. I will post tomorrow. God bless you and yours./QUOT
Monicad, needed a quick bathroom break, so I thought I would finish what my talk would be centered on. It sprang out of my son’s terrible sixth grade year where his classmates were isolating him because they thought he was weird. As well, some ticks that my son had were bothering other children and his sensory processing disorder was bothering other kids. We had DS personal therapist in school to observe him, a sit-down with his teachers, principal, DS therapist and staff all with the hopes of helping the school help him. They just didn’t get it. In that meeting, we were assured that if someone was bugging DS, he could simply move to another work space. When DS asked, he was questioned as to why he wanted to move. He essentially had to tattle on the kid for asking, and his request was often refused. The final straw was learning that vicious rumors were being spread throughout the school, with the principal essentially doing nothing to stop it. He had a video lecture brought in for the chases to observe, but it was woefully inappropriate.

I spoke with Father for another reason, and I mentioned the anger I still held in my heart about the treatment of my son. From that talk sprung his idea for me to give a lecture on the cathechists of kids with invisible disabilities…those that slip through the cracks and are often denied services but there isn’t enough to go around.

So, I will speak to teachers about how potential teachers of kids like my son who may end up in their class. This will be a true talk about “helping the least of us.”

Thank you again, as always, for your words of encouragement and your prayer!

God bless you.
Click to expand...
 
Hello friend,
I teach high school, so not a catechist. I would love to attend this workshop just to learn about it and would know what accommodations to make if I would ever have a student like you describe. Also, would I be able to get the hours? Feel free to PM me if needed to give details.
 
I can certainly give you all the lecture materials and the Q&A that came forth. Do you live in Eastern PA? Please feel free to PM me.
 
1990Domer said:
I think I understand, but could expound on your last paragraph? I am not sure what you mean by tear-jerker moments.
Click to expand...
These are sappy (and frankly they may be somewhat phony or rather unrealistic) attempts at getting to someone’s emotions.

They’re used in film and television a lot, I believe.
 
SuperLuigi said:
These are sappy (and frankly they may be somewhat phony or rather unrealistic) attempts at getting to someone’s emotions.

They’re used in film and television a lot, I believe.
Click to expand...
Ok, thank you. I am not into sap or emotion. Plus, I don’t have enough time. :o
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top