No young adults... *sigh*

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mbd1475

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In my town there are no young adult Catholics (or even Episcopalians, for that matter). It seems that anyone my age (or my wife’s age) who doesn’t have children and may go to church, goes to a baptist church, maybe some Methodist. (We live in the south/Bible belt I guess).

My wife and I currently attend the local Episcopal church (Anglo-Catholic, more-catholic-than-catholic variety). The service is, of course, beautiful, but there are no young adults there, period. And I hear that RC parish here is the same way. No one under 30.

I know that strictly theologically speaking, it shouldn’t make a difference to someone who is thinking of becoming Catholic. But let’s be honest, it does. So I am wondering if anyone else has found themselves in a similar situation, and could offer some advice.

Again, I am not interested in any responses to the effect of “You should just become Catholic if the Holy Spirit is telling you to and quit letting your social life get in the way” or “suck it up and be the first and others will follow.”

As important as the sacraments and our souls are, sometimes people, real people, need to be nourished by friendship and peers and someone of the same faith to hang out with outside of Mass. I really want to hear about some experiences people have had in this as young adults or otherwise.

Thanks!
 
IMO the only way more young adults will return to Mass and active participation in parish life, is through the example of their peers, so anything you can do to influence your friends to be where they belong is the best and fastest way to change the situation.
 
I had this problem when I was looking for a parish for my RCIA, luckily for me I have about 10 within 30 mins so I was able to shop around until I found one with people my age, but there are still things there I don’t like. There will be something you dont like at any parish you go to, for you it just so happens to be there are no young people; Having no one to relate to in your parish might be something you just have to suffer through. Just think, if all the Catholic martyrs were willing to die for their faith, I’m sure you can make it through mass having to sit next to an old lady for yours.
 
There are no other parishes in town, and I live in Baptist-town USA, (east Texas). It’s all big LED lights and Six Flags style mega churches. No one is catholic.
 
Perhaps you can make friends with some "young at heart’ older people. Our best friends at church have children our age.
 
I am in a prayer group and am the only ‘young’ person in it. Everyone else is of pension age. Still, older people have told me that they find it an encouragement to have someone so young and yet so involved in the church. I must admit though that there are quite a lot of people my age outside of the prayer group and always have been, so I cannot really say how I would react if **everyone **were old in my community.
 
Think I responded to the same thread in another forum…

Anyway, don’t base conversion on what you “hear” about the Parish. Visit different Masses at the Parish, visit other Parishes - www.masstimes.org will help you find other Parishes in your area.

Get involved with some different groups, some Bible studies, volunteer - anyway, you may find that you can actually BE friends with someone who is not the exact same age as you or someone with kids :eek:
 
kage_ar said:
Think I responded to the same thread in another forum…

Anyway, don’t base conversion on what you “hear” about the Parish. Visit different Masses at the Parish, visit other Parishes - www.masstimes.org will help you find other Parishes in your area.

Get involved with some different groups, some Bible studies, volunteer - anyway, you may find that you can actually BE friends with someone who is not the exact same age as you or someone with kids :eek:
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Yeah, it’s not that we can’t be friends with someone who has kids. It’s just that there’s literally no one our age. With or without kids. I was just using the kids thing as an example. It seems like no one after college goes to church until they have kids, which these days is later and later.
 
mbd1475 said:
Yeah, it’s not that we can’t be friends with someone who has kids. It’s just that there’s literally no one our age. With or without kids. I was just using the kids thing as an example. It seems like no one after college goes to church until they have kids, which these days is later and later.
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Then I’d make signs and protest the mega churches for the young Catholics to return home…😉

Example is best. Get involved with what you have and don’t see older people like they have one foot in the grave. I love old people…I’m becoming one daily… I kind of like it. I smell a ministry. Anyone agree?
 
I’m in the process of trying to see if I can find a group of like-minded young adults as well. Thankfully, my diocese has a sort of “united” approach to youth/young adult ministry, so young adults from different parishes can come together for activities. The only kicker is that most of the activities are aimed at the teenage set - might be a little out of place at 23.

Good luck to you in your search!
 
I love old people, too. I work with them all the time. But I don’t know too many that might want to drive to Dallas for a Radiohead concert, for example 😃
 
With regards to older parishioners - as young people, we should seek to learn from them. They can be valuable role models.

It reminds me of Titus 2:2-8
…2 that older men should be temperate, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, love, and endurance.
3
Similarly, older women should be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to drink, teaching what is good,
4
so that they may train younger women to love their husbands and children,
5
to be self-controlled, chaste, good homemakers, under the control of their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited.
6
Urge the younger men, similarly, to control themselves,
7
showing yourself as a model of good deeds in every respect, with integrity in your teaching, dignity,
8
and sound speech that cannot be criticized, so that the opponent will be put to shame without anything bad to say about us.
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Titus 2:2-8, NAB
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They have many years of experience in life and faith and are often more than happy to pass on this experience to the next generation. As young adults, we don’t have to necessarily drop everything and join the Bingo game on Monday nights; or invite the older members to go see Radiohead, but interacting in various church settings can be profitable for everyone involved. The young gain valuable teachings and insights, the older parishioners are able to share what they know and can also gain a fresh perspective - and everyone is able to enjoy the fellowship of their brothers and sisters in Christ!

Also, many older women (and men) are often happy to cook for younger people - beats Ramen any day! 😃
 
Right, I definitely appreciate that. At my Episcopal parish, I have gone for the past year to the Wednesday night said Mass and adult education/community meal. And I have enjoyed eating and studying with the older folks, who know alot about the community. However, as valuable as that experience is, it doesn’t substitute for Christian peers.
 
mbd1475 said:
Right, I definitely appreciate that. At my Episcopal parish, I have gone for the past year to the Wednesday night said Mass and adult education/community meal. And I have enjoyed eating and studying with the older folks, who know alot about the community. However, as valuable as that experience is, it doesn’t substitute for Christian peers.
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Agreed - I totally hear you on that. I’m encountering the same thing.

I figured I’d post for posterity’s sake too - in case someone came searching.
 
I converted to Catholicism and there aren’t a great deal of Catholics in my age bracket. It seems as if Catholics skip right from the high school, youth group phase to the married with young children phase. But so what? You can find friends outside of Church. The majority of my friends aren’t Catholic. A few of them are, but I met them through work not church. Yes, it can be very nice to have friends with whom you are spiritually like-minded, but it’s not a requirement.
 
Well, I think boils down to, if there is a reception after mass or something, it would be nice to hang out with people your age instead of sitting at a corner eating your BBQ or drinking champagne or whatever it is, or having to talk to people as though they were your grandparents.
 
My wife and I, Catholic since birth, married 19 years, have been members of 3 different parishes over our time. We have run into this at every one of them, so you are not alone.

I’m 40, my wife, late 30’s. So we are hardly “over the hill”, LOL, but still, we have found that in all our past, and present parishes, we kind of feel like the youngsters at mass, and any gatherings. It doesn’t bother us too much, but it would be nice to see some folks our same age, or even younger. There are a few mind you,but it is definitely not the majority.

Our basic way of handling it? We go to mass, for the mass, love of the Church etc. While we would LOVE to socialize more with people in our own parish, it just aint’ happening most of the time. Usually, we just wind up socializing with friends from out of our parish area, or at times visiting the social functions of non Catholic churches around us. (Some of them protestants REALLY know how to get together for a good BBQ, especially in the summer)! 😃

I figure this way. While we may attend the social events of other denominations, we still have the beauty, glory and general wonderfullness of the Catholic Church and mass, on Sunday, when it matters. 👍
 
Seems like there are two options:
wish there were more young adults
or
join the church and start a young adult group, handing out flyers to all parishioners,including their young adult relatives to come!
good luck!
perhaps there are people like you eyeing the church, but not coming because there aren’t any other young adults there… you never know!
 
mbd1475 said:
.

As important as the sacraments and our souls are, sometimes people, real people, need to be nourished by friendship and peers and someone of the same faith to hang out with outside of Mass. I really want to hear about some experiences people have had in this as young adults or otherwise.

Thanks!
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Jesus is in the sacraments and He is real. He is in the Eucharist and He will nourish our souls.
 
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