Non-Cathloic in a Catholic wedding

[Stephan]

I applogize if this has already been asked, however I am short on time, please send me to the correct answer for my question

My girlfiend was raised a catholic, however like many young people today (or should I say in my city?) has not attended church in some time, and is probally what you would call a “non-practising catholic.” She was baptised and attended catholic school way back when…

Myself, was never baptised. I have gone to church a few times with my uncle when I was younger.

My girlfriend wants to have a full catholic wedding, as well as “re-join” so to speek the church which she feels she is no longer a part of. What is nessessary to a) have a ‘full catholic wedding’ and b) for her, and myself to re-enter?

Thanks,

Stephan

 

[Della]

My girlfriend wants to have a full catholic wedding, as well as “re-join” so to speek the church which she feels she is no longer a part of. What is nessessary to a) have a ‘full catholic wedding’ and b) for her, and myself to re-enter?

Well, your friend has to be reconciled to the Church to have the sacrament of marriage performed. She’s not just “getting married” in the civil sense of the word. She will be making vows to God as well as her fiancee, and how can she do that with a clear conscience and in good faith if she is not in good standing in the Church?

As to you having to be baptized, I suppose it depends on what part you will be playing. If you are to be a witness, you have to be a baptized member in order to properly witness the vows you will hear her and her fiancee make to God and each other, once again because marriage in the Church is a sacrament not just a civil ceremony.

 

[La_Chiara]

Della:

As to you having to be baptized, I suppose it depends on what part you will be playing. If you are to be a witness, you have to be a baptized member in order to properly witness the vows you will hear her and her fiancee make to God and each other, once again because marriage in the Church is a sacrament not just a civil ceremony.

Umm, I think he is planning on being the groom!

 

[Tantum_ergo]

Welcome, Stephan!

Your girlfriend (and you) will need to attend Pre-Cana (otherwise called Marriage Preparation) classes; these usually involve 4 sessions and should be scheduled within the 6 months prior to the wedding.

If your girlfriend wants a Nuptial MASS, then you would need to be baptized. . .unfortunately, you’ve missed the RCIA in most areas. It is possible that you could find a priest to give you private instruction and that the bishop would give dispensation, but it is EXTREMELY UNLIKELY. So, no Mass.

HOWEVER, it is entirely possible for you to be married in the Church with a simple ceremony OUTSIDE OF A MASS. . .and many Catholics, especially those marrying non Catholics or non Christians, do so. It is not a “second best” but a legitimate marriage.

In this case, you still do the Pre Cana marriage prep, and your priest must ask your bishop to dispense your bride-to-be. The marriage will not be a sacramental one, but it will be a valid one. Then, down the line, after you (hopefully) choose to be baptized, your marriage can be “convalidated” and it will become sacramental (and it’s retroactive to the date of your marriage) and you will receive all the graces from the sacrament.

Bless you!

 

[BayCityRickL]

Yes, Bless you.

I’m sure that most priests would talk with you about what your options are.

Maybe this is a time in your life to consider faith issues.

My Catholic niece married a Methodist at Mass, and it was the Saturday vigil Mass where the marriage was held, due to scheduling constraints. There were Methodists and atheists galore, along with the full compliment of church goers. And, there was a big, unexpected “whoop” from the brides maids at the end of the ceremony. The priest was from India, and travelled over 150 miles to perform the wedding. There were Methodists as witnesses and a Protestant lady read the Mass epistles and general intercessions.

We might have broken 10 rules, but it was “away we go” all the way.

 

[axolotl]

How much of a rush are you in to be married? If you’re planning a year in advance, you could join RCIA in September, enter into the Church at Easter, and then be married shortly after.
This gives you planty of time for pre-Cana, and all the other arrangements, as well as have a full nuptual mass.