Non Catholic Funeral question

[JustAnotherThou]

My husband’s grandmother’s funeral is Monday. I am not sure right now what church it will be at, although I am guessing a Nazarene church. When we asked if we could have last rights said for her (she was married in the Catholic Church YEARS ago) we were told that she is now Nazarene. We knew she didn’t go to mass, although did not know she changed faiths.

So anyway, I have never been to a non Catholic funeral. Anyone know if there is anything I should expect to come us during this service that wouldn’t be good to participate in (such as communion)?

 

[Truly_Beloved]

I’ve been to several different types of funerals, and the only ones that offered communion were Masses. I don’t think Nazarenes do communion, although I could be wrong. Most Christian funerals are pretty straight-forward; I wouldn’t worry.

 

[jmcrae]

My husband’s grandmother’s funeral is Monday. I am not sure right now what church it will be at, although I am guessing a Nazarene church. When we asked if we could have last rights said for her (she was married in the Catholic Church YEARS ago) we were told that she is now Nazarene. We knew she didn’t go to mass, although did not know she changed faiths.

So anyway, I have never been to a non Catholic funeral. Anyone know if there is anything I should expect to come us during this service that wouldn’t be good to participate in (such as communion)?

Most likely there will not be Holy Communion. The order of service will be very simple - a few familiar hymns, some readings from Scripture (Psalm 23 will be either sung or read out), a eulogy, and some prayers for the family. At some point, members of the congregation will be invited to come forward and share their happy recollections of the beloved deceased. As far as I know, there would be no problem with you doing this, if you felt so moved. (It is courteous to keep it short and to the point.)

You will also notice many differences in theology around our beliefs about life after death. If your opinion is asked, simply state that she will be dearly missed, and that you know she is in God’s merciful hands.

 

[1ke]

My husband’s grandmother’s funeral is Monday. I am not sure right now what church it will be at, although I am guessing a Nazarene church. When we asked if we could have last rights said for her (she was married in the Catholic Church YEARS ago) we were told that she is now Nazarene. We knew she didn’t go to mass, although did not know she changed faiths.

Clarification: “Last Rites” consist of the Sacraments of Confession, Anointing of the Sick, and Eucharist (Viaticum) and is administered to people who are still alive.

So, I’m not sure what you mean by asking if you could “have last rights said for her.” Did you mean have a Mass said for her soul? You can-- and should-- do that regardless of where her funeral is and where she is buried.

So anyway, I have never been to a non Catholic funeral. Anyone know if there is anything I should expect to come us during this service that wouldn’t be good to participate in (such as communion)?

Refrain from communion if they have it (probably won’t). You should use your good judgment on what to participate in or not-- but I would presume there will be hymns, maybe some readings from the bible, a eulogy or sermon. I can’t imagine anything else.

 

[JustAnotherThou]

Clarification: “Last Rites” consist of the Sacraments of Confession, Anointing of the Sick, and Eucharist (Viaticum) and is administered to people who are still alive.

So, I’m not sure what you mean by asking if you could “have last rights said for her.” Did you mean have a Mass said for her soul? You can-- and should-- do that regardless of where her funeral is and where she is buried.

We had asked about this prior to her passing.

Although, I do remember that when my mom was administered “Last Rights” she didn’t/couldn’t have the Sacrament of Confession due to the fact she was not conscious. Just an FYI The priest did the Anointing of the Sick and Eucharist. I am 99% sure the same was for my grandmother prior to her passing.

 

[Indyann]

Don’t be surprised if there is an “altar call” or something similar. I have seen this more than once at non-Catholic funerals.

 

[JustAnotherThou]

Don’t be surprised if there is an “altar call” or something similar. I have seen this more than once at non-Catholic funerals.

This is what I was concerned about. I am guessing I can figure it out by what they say that that is what they are doing?

 

[kage_ar]

This is what I was concerned about. I am guessing I can figure it out by what they say that that is what they are doing?

It will be along the lines of:

"Our dear sister knew one thing, where she would go when she died. She was ready. She is looking on the face of her beloved saviour, where there are no more tears.

Bow your heads with me, and close your eyes.

Friends, if you were to die tonight, do you know for certain that you would open your eyes to see the face of your beloved saviour? Do you know that you are on your way to heaven?

Right now, pray with me ‘Jesus, I am sorry for my sins. I accept you as my Lord and Saviour. Come into my heart.’

Now, all you who prayed that prayer, right now, while heads are bowed and eyes closed, raise your hand and say ’ yes, Pastor Jim. I want to give my life to Jesus’.

Maybe some of you want to rededicate your lives. I invite you to also raise your hands.

As we all stand to sing ‘I Surrender All (or Just As I Am…)’ those of you who raised your hands, take that step down the isle. We will pray with you and welcome you into the family of God".

Something like that.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

It will be along the lines of:

"Our dear sister knew one thing, where she would go when she died. She was ready. She is looking on the face of her beloved saviour, where there are no more tears.

Bow your heads with me, and close your eyes.

Friends, if you were to die tonight, do you know for certain that you would open your eyes to see the face of your beloved saviour? Do you know that you are on your way to heaven?.."

A fine performance!:clapping: :clapping: :clapping: That is very, very close to how it goes. I’ve even encountered one or two in Lutheran churches.

What you need to worry about Thou, is food. Will the ladies of the church have food after the burial in the church hall, or is the family expected to provide covered dishes? A foodless funeral, be it Catholic, Protestant, Jewish or Islamic, is just wrong.

 

[kage_ar]

I’d be sure the good Nazarine women in Nebraska will have a fine spread in the fellowship hall for the family.

 

[JustAnotherThou]

What you need to worry about Thou, is food.

I thought about that this morning!! DH talked to his dad and couldn’t get a straight answer out of him if they were going to have a dinner afterwards or not. After an hour on the phone with his father (long story, although FIL can’t stay on topic and usually finds a way to get some crazy sales pitch in on every conversation ) I told DH I will just make a couple dishes, if we need them I can run to the house and pick them up, if we don’t then we will have dinner ready for the week

 

[CB_Catholic]

My father’s side is Church of the Nazarene, and I’ve been to a few relatives’ funerals besides his. It might vary by church, but there was no altar call, no communion service, just a simple service with some scripture, a sermon, a eulogy, and some prayers for the family. After the burial there was a very nice dinner prepared by the ladies of the church. Everyone was very friendly and welcoming and sympathetic. It was very nice.

Now a very memorable non-Catholic funeral I once attended was for my husband’s grandfather deep in the Appalachians of West Virginia. The body was viewed at home in the living room, there was an all-night wake with people taking turns sitting with the body. In the morning the casket was carried up the side of a mountain to a very old cemetary on the top, where the grave had been dug. People brought blankets to sit on, because the preacher was in full form, and preached for at least an hour, barely taking a breath–he could get more words out of one inhale than anyone I’ve ever seen! And the entire preaching was peppered by comments from the “audience”–things like “Amen, brother” and “Hallelujiah”. And there was food–people brought baskets, because they were expecting to stay the morning, which they did. It was quite a send-off.

My father-in-law got chiggers from sitting on the ground, and I had foolishly worn nylons and a pair of heels, which weren’t in too good of a shape after climbing up that mountainside, the beginning path of which was a turkey farm with the gobblers free-roaming and pecking at the ground around my feet and at my nylons. I felt sorry for the pallbearers, because they had to carry that casket the whole way up. We were all quite done in by the time it was over. I will never forget that funeral.

Years later his grandmother died, and I was expecting the same thing, but they had become somewhat citified by then, and the wake (there was still an all night wake) was in the tiny church in the hollow, and the services were there, but we still had to climb that mountainside, although the turkey farm was gone and the graveside service was short, we ate at the relatives’ houses, and nobody got the chiggers. Definitely better, but I kind of got a little nostalgic for the old way…

 

[JustAnotherThou]

Just an update about the funeral.

Well there wasn’t an alter call, although there were a couple of times that it seemed to come close to one.

The minister preached a lot on being saved and how being saved JUST required declaring Jesus Christ was your savior. He also talked about how you were not going to be saved just because you attended a certain church. He seemed to keep on this path during his sermon. DH and I felt that he kept focusing on us during these parts, we would just smile at the minister. He knew we were the only Catholics in the crowd He did take a minute after the services to invite us to their church. DH politely said no thank you and that was the end of that.

Oh, also, they were not Nazarene, they were a non-denominational Christian Church. DH (who converted about 8 years ago to Catholicism) said that the minister sounded a lot like some of the Church of Christ ministers that they would attend growing up