Non catholic sister from out of state receives Holy Communion when visiting

[jenmom]

• am not sure if this is the proper form for this post, but it seemed like a good start.*

*My siblings and I were raised in the Luthern Church. After we left home, my sister and I both married Catholic men. I attended RCIA and joined the church prior to our marriage. My husband is a devout Catholic man and we have been striving to lead truly Catholic lives. My sister has not joined the church, although all 3 of her daughters are baptized catholic, and they attend generally attend mass weekly. I don’t know this for sure, because she lives out of state, so I go by what she tells me. Several times she has talked about attending RICA although she tells me she holds some decidedly different views from those of the church but has not done so (she has been married for 8 years adn her oldest daughter is 5) *She tells me her church is “different” that ours; they don’t make a big deal out of things (her words)

My problem is this: the last time my siwster visited, she received Holy Communion at our parish. We did not realize she would, so nothing had been said to her before hand. Afterwards, I tried to tactfully tell her that she shoudl not receive until she joined the church. She told me she always receives at her home parish and it’s “allowed”. When my mother (who has also converted since our marriages) visited her after the birth of my niece this past winter, my sister received communion in her home church and Mom also told her that she should not receive communion. We have since heard that her Father in law has also told her she should not receive. My sister is currently visiting and intends to attend mass ith us tomorrow AM. My parish priest is away at the ordination of our deacon. What, if anything shoudl I do about my sister comitting this sacrilege???

Thank you for your help.

 

[mommamia]

IMHO, you have done all you can do. You can pray for her, or you could try to get her to talk to your priest, but if she has already been told by more than one person, and continues anyway, I doubt if there is anything you could say to stop her.

I would pray she finds her way to the Church, and recognizes the error of her way. But confronting her may not be the best way to handle it.

Sorry I don’t have better advice for you.

 

[BlestOne]

you may want to show her in the missal where it has a blurb about not receiving if you aren’t Catholic… it is right inside one of the covers… front or back, I don’t remember.

 

[Seatuck]

You can pass along church documents such as the following one.

usccb.org/dpp/Eucharist.pdf
and

usccb.org/liturgy/current/intercom.shtml

Canon law prohibits this-

Can. 844 §1. Catholic ministers administer the sacraments licitly to Catholic members of the Christian faithful alone, who likewise receive them licitly from Catholic ministers alone, without prejudice to the prescripts of §§2, 3, and 4 of this canon, and ⇒ can. 861, §2.

There are situations where non catholics can receive but they have to understand and believe in the Eucharist and be in danger of death, have no access to a protestant minister etc.
For more explanation , check out Jimmy’s blog-

jimmyakin.typepad.com/defensor_fidei/2005/12/communion_for_n.html

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

You and others have told her that what she’s doing is wrong. I don’t think you can do any more. I mean what are your options, tackling her in the communion line? Hope and pray that she will learn.

 

[KCtheMommy]

you may want to show her in the missal where it has a blurb about not receiving if you aren’t Catholic… it is right inside one of the covers… front or back, I don’t remember.

Right inside the front cover. Right inside. It specifically says that only Catholics and Eastern Catholics are permitted to Receive – and that they respectfully ask that everyone else refrain.

How does she know how to receive. It’s kinda like Catholic-secret-code if you catch my drift? It’s been specifically written that the priest or Eucharistic Minister will KNOW when someone who isn’t Catholic tries to Receive. We have the way we hold our hands, etc. Did your BIL or her children tell her how to Receive?

I honestly see red flags about it being “permissible” in her home parish. It’s NEVER OK, (I don’t care how liberal the parish) for a non-catholic to take our Communion. I think she hasn’t told her priest, and the priest assumes she’s catholic since she’s raising her kids our way and baptized them. I think the stuff is going to hit the FAN when and if she does join RCIA because the priest is going to remember giving her Communion when he shouldn’t have. I believe she KNOWS this too hence the reason she won’t go to RCIA – because admitting she’s taking Eucharist when she shouldn’t be is a HUGE no-no.

I would make a scene - or threaten to, but that’s me. I also honor the sanctity of our most precious Eucharist. It’s the BIGGEST thing that separates us from other Christians. It’s SACRED to us, the parishoners, and to our Church as a whole. She’s slapping us in the face doing that. Make her stop.

I am also considering she doesn’t KNOW what she’s doing, she has no idea the belief that it is actually Jesus Christ that we are taking in. That we believe He is present, really present in that Eucharist. If she did, or truly held the belief she wouldn’t disrespect Jesus or herself by taking Him when she hasn’t received the other Sacraments in preparation. Do you have a copy of The Lambs Supper by Scott Hahn around? Can you run out to the bookstore and buy it for her? Present it to her so she actually understands what she is doing.

Here’s what I would say:
“Hey Sis, I know you feel comfortable taking the Eucharist in your own parish, and I understand you think it’s permissible. It’s not. It’s not permissible anywhere in any Catholic Church for you to take the Body and Blood of Christ when you have not received the other Sacraments. When you have not been annointed or prepared for doing so. I am asking you nicely not to Receive in my parish, because I know what the deal is, and in doing so you are coercing me into sinning with you. I love you, but I’ll be forced to tell the priest prior to Mass to not allow you to Receive – and that’ll be embarrassing for both of us. I think you should join RCIA and become fully enfolded into the church before you take the Eucharist again. I suspect you’ll be embarrassed having to tell your priest you are not actually Catholic yet, but you really must stop Receiving until you are fully Catholic. I don’t think you realize all that is involved here, so I am presenting you this book about the full meaning of our Eucharist. I love you, but I can’t let you take Eucharist in my church. I’m sorry.”

Thanks for posting this. I know I sound harsh, and your post has made me feel a little harsh, kinda angry. I understand you may not be comfortable with confrontation, and obviously said sister is STUBBORN if even her mom can’t get her to stop, but you owe it to Jesus, to your sister and to yourself to stop this. If she’s stubborn, do as I suggested, grab that priest right before mass and tell him what’s happening. Tell him you’ll walk up either before or after her and he can give her the blessing. Or tell him to have a talk with her before mass begins – she absolutely can NOT Receive.

On a side note, at my friend’s husband’s funeral, a non-catholic took the Eucharist and someone figured it out because they put it in their pocket. They were chased down and made to give Him back – so yes, we take this very seriously in our church.

I’m sorry, and my prayers are with you. Do come back and update us please. :hug1:

 

[CatholicNerd]

My guess is that you two grew up ELCA. Unlike some of the other Lutheran confessions in the United States, the ELCA believes in “open communion.” And, unfortunately unlike other Lutheran confessions in the United States, the ELCA believes in a form of Apostolic Succession and their clergy and laity honestly believe that their ministers have valid orders. To complicate things, some Lutheran pastors have gone off to be ordained by Old Catholic Bishops. This has created a bizarre situation, and has led many people to believe that they “Are a Church, too. Just like Rome.” Your sister may honestly believe that she has a right to receive the Eucharist in a Catholic church. :doh2:

This is going to sound a little extreme, but the best thing you can do for her (aside from praying for her conversion) is give her a rundown of salvation history. Start with the very first covenant God made with man and work your way up to Christ’s establishment of the Papacy. Next, ** It is absolutely imperative to show her that Luther acted alone, cut off from salvation history, tradition, and truth.** Show her the inconsistencies of Lutheran beliefs through the centuries, especially their beliefs about the Holy Eucharist.

Assure her of Christ’s love and support. Maybe her desire to receive the Eucharist at a Catholic parish is indicative of a calling.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Let me make you laugh a minute:
youtube.com/watch?v=9FI5nzGU844

It runs a lot like that, doesn’t it?

Now, you cannot tackle her if she receives, or stick your hand in her mouth and fish Jesus out. You can make it clear to her AND her husband (because he must let her do it every week! ) she shouldn’t, through the other methods other posters have explained. Unless you know the EMHC or the priest, you can’t do much except pray. You don’t appear to have that gene that makes you impervious to embarassment. I happen to have that. Wouldn’t bother me to mention it to any EMHC or any priest. But you are not me, and I can’t do gene transplants.

She is the one eating and drinking condemnation upon herself, not you.

And while I was in the neighborhood at youtube, I came upon this person’s very beautiful profession of faith:

 

[KCT]

Has anyone told her that receving implies agreement with the Church? If she does agree w/ the Church, tell her she should convert .

 

[jenmom]

Thank you for all the replies…I thought my computer had kicked me out and this was not posted!!!

I do not in fact have that special gene which makes me immune to embaressment ; however, considering the sacrilege she is committing I would get over it…just don’t want to commit another sacrilege by causing a disruption during Communion (ie tackling her in the communion line)

I have explained much of what has been discussed here…the Real Presence, the fact that by receiving she professes to believe all that the church teaches and believes, that she is bringing condemnation on herself…

The first (and so far only) time she did this in my parish, I thouhgt she might actually believe that it was OK because her priest has allowed her to receive BUT I have since found out that she always goes to an Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist during mass at her home parish, so her priest may not even be aware of what she is doing (I hope not anyway!!!)

I really don’t think she cares at all that she is committing a HUGE sin…truthfully, she tends to think my husband and are a weird in our beliefs and that we are the only ones (or some of the very few) who believe in the Real Presence, the sacraments, even sin…she kind of treats it all like the ideas are old-fashioned adn have nothing to do with modern life, if you understand what I mean…have you all met people who think our faith is basicaly a fairy tale to coerce people into being “good”…plus, she and her husband tend to think that rules in general don’t apply to them…I also think that they are raising the girls Catholic more because of his family’s expectations and little t tradition, than because of any deep seated faith of their own…and I really think she goes to communion because she is embarressed to stay in the pew, at least in her home parish…

By the way, KCtheMommy - I don’t think you sound harsh at all. Plus we have had problems with someone not consuming the Host and leaving it in the pew earlier this year, and our pastor is all set to return to communion on the tongue if it happens again…I know her would speak to her, if he was present tomorrow (i bleieve my mom has talked to him about this already)…as to how she knows how to receive, receiving on the hand is exactly how we were taught to receive in the ELCA (yes, that is how we were raised but I don’t think my sister ever knew or cared about the theology behind the Eucharist then or now…

This is much longer than I intended and I must rest or I will be committing my own sin falling asleep at Mass tomorrow! Pray for me and my sister please, and I will let you knwo what happens!

Thanks for your answers adn prayers (and thanks for putting up with my poor typing skills! )

I confess that there are other family issues that make me less inclined to embarress her, although I don’t have ANY problem saying something to my pastor…I wish I had known she planned to attend mass with us tomorrow before today…would have given me the opportunity to talk with her again…instead I got the word shortly before leaving for work this afternoon (I work second shift and just got home)…so I’ll see her next at mass, and if I know here she wont’ be early

I confess there are family issues that make me prone to

 

[LilyM]

Thank you for all the replies…I thought my computer had kicked me out and this was not posted!!!

I do not in fact have that special gene which makes me immune to embaressment ; however, considering the sacrilege she is committing I would get over it…just don’t want to commit another sacrilege by causing a disruption during Communion (ie tackling her in the communion line)

I have explained much of what has been discussed here…the Real Presence, the fact that by receiving she professes to believe all that the church teaches and believes, that she is bringing condemnation on herself…

The first (and so far only) time she did this in my parish, I thouhgt she might actually believe that it was OK because her priest has allowed her to receive BUT I have since found out that she always goes to an Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist during mass at her home parish, so her priest may not even be aware of what she is doing (I hope not anyway!!!)

I really don’t think she cares at all that she is committing a HUGE sin…truthfully, she tends to think my husband and are a weird in our beliefs and that we are the only ones (or some of the very few) who believe in the Real Presence, the sacraments, even sin…she kind of treats it all like the ideas are old-fashioned adn have nothing to do with modern life, if you understand what I mean…have you all met people who think our faith is basicaly a fairy tale to coerce people into being “good”…plus, she and her husband tend to think that rules in general don’t apply to them…I also think that they are raising the girls Catholic more because of his family’s expectations and little t tradition, than because of any deep seated faith of their own…and I really think she goes to communion because she is embarressed to stay in the pew, at least in her home parish…

By the way, KCtheMommy - I don’t think you sound harsh at all. Plus we have had problems with someone not consuming the Host and leaving it in the pew earlier this year, and our pastor is all set to return to communion on the tongue if it happens again…I know her would speak to her, if he was present tomorrow (i bleieve my mom has talked to him about this already)…as to how she knows how to receive, receiving on the hand is exactly how we were taught to receive in the ELCA (yes, that is how we were raised but I don’t think my sister ever knew or cared about the theology behind the Eucharist then or now…

This is much longer than I intended and I must rest or I will be committing my own sin falling asleep at Mass tomorrow! Pray for me and my sister please, and I will let you knwo what happens!

Thanks for your answers adn prayers (and thanks for putting up with my poor typing skills! )

I confess that there are other family issues that make me less inclined to embarress her, although I don’t have ANY problem saying something to my pastor…I wish I had known she planned to attend mass with us tomorrow before today…would have given me the opportunity to talk with her again…instead I got the word shortly before leaving for work this afternoon (I work second shift and just got home)…so I’ll see her next at mass, and if I know here she wont’ be early

I confess there are family issues that make me prone to

oh I don’t think you need to tackle her. Just either speak to the priest and/or EMHCs before Mass, or try get in line directly before her for communion and speak up before you receive yours so that the priest/EMHC knows.

Neither of those constitutes sacrilege - priests will often stop with children to ask the parent if they’ve made their first communion and things like that.

I think Jesus would be pleased at your concern for His body if you did either!