Non religious - teenagers and faith

[Pro-Life_Teen]

I suppose it’s sorta a rant. I may sound holier than thou or whiny, and for that I apologize.

Why the massive amount of lack of religion for teens! I’m chatting with a friend about her wedding. We’re teens, so it’s all fun and theoretical. But I remembered she was baptized Catholic, but now is non religious… which means she won’t follow Catholic form if she doesn’t revert. As a Catholic, I can’t support this, so while we’re discussing her pretty wedding, all I can think of is how I’m going to one day have to tell her I can’t attend. Reception, sure, but not the wedding. And seeing as how we’re close, I may have to declide bride’s maid status.

Why aren’t parents teaching their kids about the Faith?? This isn’t to any CAF members, I’m sure you all are wonderful at this [y’all are on CAF after all And for that matter, I learned a lot from my time on the forums. For that I do thank y’all]. But all my friends seem to have lost their Faith. I understand doubts, we all have those, but… if this keeps to a pattern, I’m going to be attending a lot of receptions. It hurts when something that should be a joyous event is turned into something not so much because of a lack of religion.

I know it sounds like I’m whining. I am. It’s annoying to have this faith and see others put it aside. To think the rules are dumb… the rules free us from sin, they do not bind us. Some of them are tough, but God knows best.

I attempt to evangelize, but I end up sounding like a textbook. Which at least turns the listeners off, at most ends up offensive.

If I see my friends truly won’t return to the Faith, would it be wise to mention how one formally leaves the Church? If I’m not mistaken, while that would be a sin, any theoretical marriage wouldn’t then have to have Catholic form… but I do hope they revert, so offering that suggestion isn’t exactly a step in the right direction.

 

[stringbeanduck]

In the secular world marriage is a contract that can be terminated at anytime. Some parents don’t choose to teach their kids the faith others do their best yet the teen still says no. Too many teens are busy with material possessions to care about God. Don’t apologize you’re not whining. This is a serious issue and the fact that you take it seriously makes Him proud of you.

Looking for a solution? Well there isn’t much of a solution per say, but you need to teach your friends about what happens to those who don’t put God first.

Though it’s a good thing, it’s hard to change them alone by setting example. They need to see how others are setting the same example of Godly life with you. Perhaps you could have them come on a retreat with you.

Wisdom can come with age. Some of us are blessed with it at young age other gain it well into adulthood. Others I’m afraid to say choose not gain wisdom. Pray that your friends are blessed with wisdom.

BTW I’m glad you’ve been dating/courting some1 for so long. I wish I could be blessed with a relationship that long. So many selfish people out there it’s hard to find a decent girl for me.

 

[Pro-Life_Teen]

In the secular world marriage is a contract that can be terminated at anytime. Some parents don’t choose to teach their kids the faith others do their best yet the teen still says no. Too many teens are busy with material possessions to care about God. Don’t apologize you’re not whining. This is a serious issue and the fact that you take it seriously makes Him proud of you.

Yeah, I know. It’s sad that divorce is so common. [For petty reasons, a divorce for reasons of protection I don’t lump into the same category.] I can see how rebelling against religion is cool, but I never felt the need to. I was misguided at times, but reading up on the teachings helped that.

Thank you, it’s nice to hear that you believe He is proud.

Looking for a solution? Well there isn’t much of a solution per say, but you need to teach your friends about what happens to those who don’t put God first.

Have tried, will no doubt try again. I have learned to be less textbookish [my boyfriend is actually not religious, but respectful to my beliefs, and so we’ve many a discussion. I’ve managed to sound less like a lecture, it does help in getting one’s point across] so perhaps that will help.

Though it’s a good thing, it’s hard to change them alone by setting example. They need to see how others are setting the same example of Godly life with you. Perhaps you could have them come on a retreat with you.

Oh, a retreat might be fun. I am religious, but I am also lazy… retreats I haven’t really done a lot . But it may be something to get into. I’ve been to Catholic school most of my life, now in a secular collage. I find myself speaking about religion quite often- seems I miss the Catholic school system. And after all the complaining about uniforms…

Wisdom can come with age. Some of us are blessed with it at young age other gain it well into adulthood. Others I’m afraid to say choose not gain wisdom. Pray that your friends are blessed with wisdom.

I will pray.

BTW I’m glad you’ve been dating/courting some1 for
so long. I wish I could be blessed with a relationship that long. So many selfish people out there it’s hard to find a decent girl for me.

Thank you. Yeah- we met young, so a longer courtship would be on the table. It is hard to find someone decent, but I do remember praying about it. And Catholics in general- the Faith is true. It will never die out, we have been persecuted before and we have not given up. There are Catholics looking to have Catholic families, and God has a plan for us all. I’ll pray for you as well, just for backup

Thank you for the reply, God Bless

 

[Pro-Life_Teen]

I was reading through the Ask the Apologist section, and I read that a former Catholic isn’t bound by our law. So what defines a ‘former’ Catholic? There seems to be a difference between this and a lapsed Catholic. I once heard about a formal way to leave- writing to the Bishop and declaring it I think, but I’m not sure if this claim is true.

And again, would it be moral to advise formally leaving the Church [a sin, I know] to keep from a possible future invalid marriage [also not good]?

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

**I am only a convert but I have a tendency to sound preachy or offensive when trying to evangelize as well, so i don’t (for now). It was doing far more harm than good.

So, with that said, I wouldn’t bring up what is wrong with your friend’s potential wedding plans… instead, when it is your turn, speak of how you want your wedding to be. How you imagine your husband and you receiving Communion together for the first time as husband and wife…the literal joining together of two souls, all of the grace you will receive from a Sacramental marriage that will help you through the rough patches… all that good stuff. Of course, talk about the beautiful dress you want to wear, your favorite flowers, and your dream reception too so you don’t just sound preachy**

 

[Em_in_FL]

I agree with what Malia’s saying (don’t I always )…
Evangelization doesn’t have to be “textbook” and “black and white”… it can just as easily be done by talking about how much you LOVE your faith!
Instead of saying everything wrong with her ideas (which yes, I agree with what you’re saying)… I’d talk about YOUR dreams! How you can’t wait to make the Sacramental commitment and what a beautiful bond that is in faith!
Talk it up! Make it sound as beautiful as it truly is!!!

 

[MamaMia3]

I put religion out in the open. Nowadays it seems like so many people shy away from faith in order to accomadate seccularism. I think you should remind your friends what faith is all about.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

First of all, it’s fun to be a teenager and plan what we think our lives will be. But don’t think that is money in the bank. Life has a way of changing our plans and fantasies.

Your friends are young. They haven’t been tested. They haven’t failed tests in life that they might have passed if they had faith. You have a pearl of great price. Just because others don’t have it or recognize it does not diminish its value.

The way you can evangelize is not by pointing out how poor they are, but by making them want what you have.

Yes, there are a lot of kids raised now without religion. I am dealing with that issue in my life as a parent. And the BF is pulling my daughter away from her faith. Eventually I foresee he will hurt her very badly. Not much I can do is there.

What others have said is true. Talk about your dreams. But most of all, live it. St. Francis said “Always teach about Christ, sometimes use words.”

If you have a boyfriend who is also devout, and your friends see what a chaste, loving, Catholic relationship marked by mutual respect and a lack of drama can be, that will do more to attract them to what you have than any sermon. When their godless lives and boyfriends break their hearts and cheat and lie and treat them poorly, your happiness and joy in the truth will speak more than your words.

Don’t ever counsel someone to leave the Church. You cannot know what the future will bring them, or what their path of faith will be. Some haven’t joined you yet. It’s a time in your life where some who didn’t have it begin to seek it. Just be willing to be a guide for those who would follow the path you’re on.

You sound like a good friend who wants what is best for your own friends. Pray for them to be given the gift of faith. Live yours. That’s the only thing you can do.

 

[Pro-Life_Teen]

If you have a boyfriend who is also devout, and your friends see what a chaste, loving, Catholic relationship marked by mutual respect and a lack of drama can be, that will do more to attract them to what you have than any sermon. When their godless lives and boyfriends break their hearts and cheat and lie and treat them poorly, your happiness and joy in the truth will speak more than your words.

I take slight offense to this. Boyfriends without faith don’t automatically mean broken hearts, cheating and lies. Or being treated poorly. My boyfriend isn’t religious, none of that applies to us. He’s respectful to my beliefs and finds the Catholic faith interesting, but he’s more of a deist than anything else. We can’t have a Sacramental wedding, not unless he converts. I know all the guidelines and rules that go along with an interfaith relationship [the promises one must make, the dispensations that should be gotten, etc], and so far so good.

But I see the point, and I can see how it would be helpful to teach through action. The problem I see is that it’s generally filed under “Victoria’s just uber religious” and that’s it.

Thank you very much for your words though. I did like the rest of the post. It’s merely that generalizations don’t work well.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

I don’t mean to offend you. But the level of spirituality required of a date and what makes that go well is very different from what is required of a marriage. It’s the difference in physical conditioning you need to take a leisurely walk in the park and what you need to run a marathon.

Someone who makes a good boyfriend doesn’t alway make a good husband. I didn’t say your boyfriend wasn’t a good person. But you need to understand that supplying a boat sitting at the dock is very different from what you need on that boat to take it out on the high seas for a round the world tour. KnowwhatImean?

Too often I’ve seen people who buck the idea of a God in charge of anything and “rules” also tend to go around treating people around them like garbage.

If your boyfriend doesn’t, that’s great for him and you.

 

[Pro-Life_Teen]

I don’t mean to offend you. But the level of spirituality required of a date and what makes that go well is very different from what is required of a marriage. It’s the difference in physical conditioning you need to take a leisurely walk in the park and what you need to run a marathon.

Dating is for discerning marriage, at minimum is has to be similar, or else we’d find a new way to pick spouses.

Someone who makes a good boyfriend doesn’t alway make a good husband. I didn’t say your boyfriend wasn’t a good person. But you need to understand that supplying a boat sitting at the dock is very different from what you need on that boat to take it out on the high seas for a round the world tour. KnowwhatImean?

Well yes. But again, if being a boy/girlfriend is so different from being a husband/wife, we do need a better way to discern marriage. There has to be a level of trust involved in all this. The boat’s there, we assume it’s sea-worthy and neither full of holes nor something that’ll wreck at the first sign of rain.

Too often I’ve seen people who buck the idea of a God in charge of anything and “rules” also tend to go around treating people around them like garbage.

It’s a common thought. I’ve yet to really see someone with that mindset who is also a jerk.

If your boyfriend doesn’t, that’s great for him and you.

No, he doesn’t. And neither do many of my non religious and atheist friends. Being without God doesn’t mean you are a jerk. Similarly, I’ve known Catholics to be very mean. There are more factors to this than belief. And while a good Catholic should be nice to all, someone who simply likes to be good can be non religious.

Religion is important, don’t read this the wrong way. But the assumption that atheists are somehow terrible is incorrect. A good deal of atheists were probably raised that way, either without God or with a bad grasp of Him. If they had a good grasp of what we know, they wouldn’t be atheists, I think.