Not a Usual Confession Session

  • Thread starter Thread starter dynahmik
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
D

dynahmik

Guest
I went to confession last week at a parish that I go to only occasionally because the priest that I usually go to do the Sacrament of Reconciliation with was unavailable.

Everything went like how it usually would be for except a few things…The priest at this parish had a very intimidating and unwelcoming demeanour. That didn’t bother me too much though, and I brushed it off as me just being overly sensitive.

As I confessed my sins, his facial expressions made it seem like he was really uninterested and didn’t care. It looked as if he really wanted to just get things over with, so he could do other things.

Also, when it came time to do so, he never asked me to make an Act of Contrition. He just completely skipped that part and so I just followed along. Furthermore, he never assigned/recommended me penance at all. After he gave me the blessing he kind of just shoo’d me away like he really wanted me gone.

I don’t know what to make of this. Would this confession be considered legitimate or do I have to do another one?
 
Your confession was fine.

As far as the priest, goes, I think sometimes we read things into a situation that may not be there (or maybe they are, I’m just making a different suggestion.)

You say that his facial expressions made him seem uninterested. But really, what kind of expression would you want him to have? Should he be hanging onto every word and saying, “You did that? Seriously? I can’t believe it! That’s terrible!” I guess he would seem interested, but you probably wouldn’t want to go to confession to him!

I think that priests generally don’t react to what’s being confessed, whether you’re the worst sinner or the most boring person they’ve ever encountered.

I remember once going to a priest who reacted to my list of sins by saying, “that’s normal.” On the one hand, that wasn’t exactly helpful. (“Yeah, it may be normal, but how do I stop doing these things?”) On the other hand, he had been ordained for about 50 years at the time. And I had to admit to myself that the last thing I would have wanted him to say was “I’ve never heard anything like that before!” Sometimes I think we have these idealized views of what confession should be like, forgetting that there are two humans involved in the sacrament so it’s not always going to live up to the ideal.
 
Provided the priest used a correct formula for the Absolution, all the rest isn’t a problem.

As for his facial expression - perhaps he finds that it’s better for his flock to think that he’s not too interested in their misdemeanours - I certainly wouldn’t want my priest to remember ever little thing I ever did wrong. I wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye ever again!
 
Poor you. I had a similar experience years ago, and was in tears because of it. The Priest acted in a hurry, kept looking at his watch, yelled at me as I was struggling to make my confession, did not give me a penance and did not ask for an act of contrition. I left in absolute dismay, found another line to see another priest and went to confession again.

I even reported this to the Archdiocese as I felt it was totally uncalled for. The Priest in question got transferred but as far as I know nothing else was done about it.

All I can say is you went with the intentions of making a good confession and you will have to trust that God has accepted it as such. You are forgiven and don’t need to worry about this. I would suggest you report this incident however. I find no excuse for Priests acting like fools in the confessional. If they don’t want to hear confessions they should not be a priest.
 
Some things change. Some things stay the same (like God’s love, and God’s gift of forgiveness). Give thanks and praise to God!
 
Your sins were forgiven. What else matters? If you feel cheated because you didn’t get a stiff penance, nothing is stopping you from saying a novena.
 
Not all priests ask for an Act of Contrition. When I first became Catholic, I was never told I should do this, nor did any priest give me time to say it when I was asked. Generally I was told to make an act of contrition, then immedieatly given absoluton.

So when I did go to a priest who asked for the Act of Contrition - and waited for me to say it - I was kerflummoxed! I just stared at him & finally said, “I’m a convert. No one ever asked me to say it.” It struck us as funny at the same time & we both started laughing.

But from then on I carried a card in my purse. 🙂
 
Dear Dynamik,

I honestly wouldn’t worry about it. We cannot know what our Priests have had to do before facing a line awaiting Reconciliation. Maybe he had just given The Sacrament of The Sick to a dying parishioner, or spent hours with the sick, dying and/or bereaved. He may have been feeling unwell but had no other Priest to call on at short notice. We will never know. Our Priests have a multi-faceted role, frequently gruelling and inevitably time-consuming. They are human beings - which must be incredibly hard when combined with the commitment conferred through Ordination.
God bless you.
 
I stopped worrying about this type of issue when I learned that marriages and other sacraments performed by priests that were not being true to their vows, sometimes in criminal ways, were still valid sacraments. Hope you have some peace with this.
 
I had such a bad experience. I just went to another parish for confession and haven’t worried about it since. I hope like myself it simply becomes a temporary upset.
 
dynahmik said:
I went to confession last week at a parish that I go to only occasionally because the priest that I usually go to do the Sacrament of Reconciliation with was unavailable.

Everything went like how it usually would be for except a few things…The priest at this parish had a very intimidating and unwelcoming demeanour. That didn’t bother me too much though, and I brushed it off as me just being overly sensitive.

As I confessed my sins, his facial expressions made it seem like he was really uninterested and didn’t care. It looked as if he really wanted to just get things over with, so he could do other things.

Also, when it came time to do so, he never asked me to make an Act of Contrition. He just completely skipped that part and so I just followed along. Furthermore, he never assigned/recommended me penance at all. After he gave me the blessing he kind of just shoo’d me away like he really wanted me gone.

I don’t know what to make of this. Would this confession be considered legitimate or do I have to do another one?
Click to expand...
Why do you think the Sacrament would not be “legitimate”?

Why are you judging the priest and imagining what he is thinking?
 
I definitely wouldn’t worry about the disinterested part…perhaps he was trying to keep his face neutral.

Sorry you felt it was a negative experience!
 
PaulfromIowa said:
Why are you judging the priest and imagining what he is thinking?
Click to expand...
Perhaps he thinks that this might affect the validity of the sacrament, and thus the state of his soul.

I would also feel uncomfortable with all of this if I did not know what does or does not invalidate confession, and I’m not sure why any faithful Catholic would be apathetic or feel otherwise.

The degree of patience and mercy and charity that priests show during confession surely should be greater than what has been described in this thread.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top