Glory to God. Today I finally received the Lord at Holy Communion.
I was received into the church yesterday and I did fine. I didn’t get emotional at all.
This morning, I got to the church a little earlier than usual. The minute I sat down, I started to cry. If I knew that was going to happen, I would have not worn makeup. Anyway….
I was hit with the realization of how much of a sinner that I was and that God chose to reach out to me in the midst of my sin and draw my soul to him. He took me out of darkness and into the light. He put the proper people in my place and even used the internet to draw me to him.
All that had me bawling. I could barely compose myself, but every time we sang a song like the Credo, Kyrie and Sanctus, I was able to compose myself for that time.
During the consecration, I started crying again knowing that in a few minutes, I would be going up to the communion rail.
The priest had asked me to go early before anyone else and I did. When that time arrived, I was fairly composed but decided to take some tissue with me just in case.
Well I started crying again. Keep in mind, I don’t tend to get emotional. I was able to open my mouth and receive communion and received our Lord with tears going down my face. Once I thought my face was sufficiently dry to get up and face the church to go back to my seat, I did.
Everyone congratulated me and some said that they were blessed by my tears. Also a group of 11 took me out for breakfast. I wish that FSSP parish wasn’t so far away.
Not being able to take communion was killing me, but God is merciful. Henceforth, I am going to do my best so that no sin will block me from receiving our Lord.
Thank you Jesus.
