Not catholic yet

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mom_of_3_boys

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I haven’t taken the RCIA classes yet, but do believe in the Catholic faith. My husband grew up Catholic, but thinks we should use birth contol. We have 3 boys aged 3 & under. I want to have more babies, but he is VERY against it. He comes from a big family but just doesn’t want to have any more kids. This is something I have struggled w/for a few years, whether or not it is okay to use BC. I grew up Protestant & was always told BC was okay. I don’t want to use it, but need advice on how to handle this situation w/my hubby.
I feel that it is wrong, but am scared to just stop, because eventually we’ll get pregnant, right? Then he would be upset. Any advice??
 
I’m glad to hear you are interested and believe in the Catholic faith. Have you ever considered doing Natural Family Planning? You have to take some classes to learn how it works but when done properly it is very successful. There is no use of contraception, and it is based on the timing of the woman’s cycle. For Catholics, every time sexual intercouse takes place there should be an openess to life. This means that a child could be conceived if God wills it as a result of the sexual act. This means there can be no contraception. I hope this helps.

God Bless,
Matt
 
I agree that you should look into NFP. Do lots of research… it is NOT the old rhythm method!!!

There are several methods, but they are all listed at the same or better effectivness as chemical contraceptive methods.

Get informed yourself, and then work on informing your husband. Most areas offer local classes that you could take together.

Maybe your husband is just feeling the pressure right now of having three children under 3 years of age. That is alot of increased responsibilty on him in a very short time. He could change his mind in the future.

In the mean time, educate yourself on NFP and the Catholic faith in general. I will soon be a Catholic myself, and I know that my endless questions about the faith made hubby (a cradle Catholic) have to investigate his faith more. He is very thankful for that!

Try not to argue about this issue… just take things one step at a time, he could change his mind.

Malia
 
You and your husband might talk to your priest, or a priest you’re comfortable with.

Are you against BC because you accept and understand the Church’s teaching, or because you want more children?
 
My husband & I took the NFP class before we had our marriage blessed in the Catholic church. We had been married for about five months at the time of the class & I was 2 months pregnant w/our first baby. We didn’t really pay attention to the class because we figured we were already pregnant, so why bother.
I do feel the BC is bad because it can cause abortions, but I am also afraid to just give it up completely because I don’t think we can handle another baby right now. I do want more in the future, though. I guess it is still hard for me to put ALL my faith in God that he will give us a baby if/when He wants to. I will look into finding an NFP class around here, though.
 
mom of 3 boys:
I do feel the BC is bad because it can cause abortions, but I am also afraid to just give it up completely because I don’t think we can handle another baby right now. I do want more in the future, though. I guess it is still hard for me to put ALL my faith in God that he will give us a baby if/when He wants to. I will look into finding an NFP class around here, though.
I think a very good place for you to start would be to read Christopher West’s book called “The Good News About Sex and Marriage”.

It helped me so much in my journey into Catholicism, NFP(and giving up contracepting), and has given me a deep understanding of what sex was really meant (by God) to be.

I hope you check it out, and I hope it helps you as much as it helped me!

Malia
 
Thanks for the advice on what book to read. I will be sure to pick up a copy of it. 🙂
 
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