Not feeling guilt sometimes

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PatB22

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Hey, guys I have been through a lot of stress this summer and sometimes I don’t feel guilt. Over the summer I felt massive guilt and it disgusts me. Even somethings I confessed I feel guilt about, but I used to be racist which I’m trying to get out of since its a terrible thing to do. Whenever I say a racial slur without thinking sometimes It’s just I don’t feel guilty for ,but things I have confessed I still feel guilty about. If you have any advice please comment. God bless
 
Remember your feelings aren’t always going to be right and feelings often aren’t a good guide on what you should be doing.
 
Curses are most of the times formulaic phrases. Since you know them by heart,.the words just come out. The conscience may have had a change of heart but rearranging your actions according to your new thoughts is an effort in itself. Be patient with yourself and maybe try practicing speaking after the second thought not out of instict.
 
Discrimination is natural but base, anger and many other negative emotions are natural too but can be unhelpful to spiritual development as I’m sure anyone could see.

With negative human characteristics we need to admit them, confront them and understand them I think. See why they are not conducive to a pure heart and good relationship with God and then move on. Not dwell,on them unnecessarily because that just causes us harm in empowering feelings of self loathing etc. Discrimination prevents us from eating poisonous plants, but extended unchecked to human beings it can poison our relationship with God.

To love our neighbour as ourselves we need to see them as kin I think, maybe distant kin, but kin.

To prevent feeling extreme guilt following confession it might be best if you try to prepare for confession well beforehand, being truly contrite should alleviate that to some extent. Knowing that we are never pure of mind and heart though helps with humility and so a modicum of that may be quite healthy. God knows our hearts far better than we and we might reserve judgement on ourselves too much.
 
Ty im trying to do that too, Im trying to confront it and silence the word from my vocabulary. Ty God bless
 
But the thing is when I pray about it and ask for forgiveness. Maybe a couple of minutes later the word just comes out of my mouth since I said it so long. It was the same thing saying the Lords name in vein which I dont do anymore. It took a while but I stopped saying the Lords name in vein. But this racist slur is worse and it just comes out of my mouth without me even trying. ;( Everytime I play I feel like im not being truly sorry because it comes out of my mouth a couple minutes later. ;(
 
Think of guilt as a smoke alarm. It is your emotional sense of whether you have committed a transgression for which you need to repent and amend yourself. You should not turn it off entirely, but it is OK to let go of it when you have recognized, repented and made amends for a particular transgression, just as you can fight a fire perfectly well (and maybe better) with the smoke alarm not blaring. Just because it is blaring does not mean there must be a fire. It can be wrong, just as a smoke alarm can also fail to go off when there is a fire!! It is a tool for you to use to help your conscience operate properly, not the ultimate arbiter of right and wrong.

Also realize that unlike guilt, shame does not have a constructive purpose. Shame is the devil telling you that you are not someone ultimately worth redeeming, you are that bad. That is not your call. The Almighty God, Creator of All, has deemed humankind worthy of redemption. It is not for you to decide that either you or any other person is not worthy of Divine Love, because God, the Source of all Love and all Justice, has deemed otherwise. Even when you recognize how you have fallen short, pay attention to the guilt and act on it but reject the shame.
 
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So, you’re saying even If I re say the racial slur I should get back up and hopefully do better next time or?
 
PatB22 said:
So, you’re saying even If I re say the racial slur I should get back up and hopefully do better next time or?
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Well, what can you do to make amends? Do that. Feeling bad about yourself without making amends does no one any good. Maybe all you can do is to come before God and repent for having slighted someone whose dignity comes from God, and make an act of recognition of the love God has given that person or group and the respect they are due as a neighbor you are bound to love. That’s still worth far more than beating yourself up and making this all about what kind of person you are rather than making this about the kind of person you have slighted.
 
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I had a similar problem, had, and it was similar, and what I did was substitute another okay word with that word I was saying. With perseverance I was quite successful doing that.

Another example is perhaps when you stub your toe or make a mistake you might say “praise the Lord” that works too. Pretty soon not only aren’t you cussing anymore but your praising God for testing you! Win win. Or is it just me 🙃
 
Lee1 said:
I had a similar problem, had, and it was similar, and what I did was substitute another okay word with that word I was saying. With perseverance I was quite successful doing that.

Another example is perhaps when you stub your toe or make a mistake you might say “praise the Lord” that works too. Pretty soon not only aren’t you cussing anymore but your praising God for testing you! Win win. Or is it just me 🙃
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Thinking of something appropriate to say during adversity is an excellent thing to do. It is a lot easier to substitute one behavior with a different behavior than to eliminate a behavior while substituting nothing in its place.
 
Don’t worry about your feelings.
Just acknowledge your wrongdoings, confess and make an effort not to repeat them. The intent of not doing them again is enough, even if you feel strongly tempted and accidentally slip.
Also, when the priest gives you the absolution, you’re forgiven, so, if you feel guilty about past sins, remember that they belong to the past.
 
Hey, even after repenting I still said it. I dont want to but it just comes out on accident. Just accidents man it just comes out without me even noticing and then when I notice my whole mood changes I still feel like me asking for Gods forgiveness and then saying it again then I feel like I did even worse. I dont know how to stop this habit
 
The fact that you are concerned about this means your conscience is working just fine, I think. Rather than feeling guilt, perhaps you are feeling responsibility? If you say a slur, for example, do you reflect later and realize you are better than that and it wasn’t the correct thing to do? If so, I wouldn’t worry that you aren’t walking around feeling guilty about your actions. Resolve to do better, and you will. You sound like a very conscientious person.
 
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PatB22 said:
Hey, even after repenting I still said it. I dont want to but it just comes out on accident. Just accidents man it just comes out without me even noticing and then when I notice my whole mood changes I still feel like me asking for Gods forgiveness and then saying it again then I feel like I did even worse. I dont know how to stop this habit
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Here’s the thing…certain things do get into our brains and they come out by a neurological route that bypasses our brains. I mean that literally, there are stroke victims with brain damage that prevents them from deliberate communication–everything comes out as jibberish–who will blurt out expletives or other things of the nature you’re talking about and they will be as understandable as before their stroke.

The only thing for it is to learn not to blurt things out at all, because it is too much to ask your brain to only blurt things out that are appropriate. That isn’t the way that part of your brain works.

That takes a good deal of practice. It’s like getting rid of a nervous habit, not like changing something you do deliberately.

The other thing, of course, is to be very merciful towards things other people do. You don’t know how much is chosen and how much is a bad habit or an unexamined impulse that they’d’ like to take back. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Live there…not excusing, but forgiving, the faults and offense of others.
 
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