Not good enough...

[buckr02]

I have a major character flaw. I don’t feel good enough for anyone or any vocation except single life. I’ve often felt like I might be called to the priesthood but have usually felt more pulled to marriage, but I don’t feel like I’m worthy of priesthood and I don’t feel like I’m worthy enough to ask for any woman to marry me.

This kind of started because I have one friend, a girl, who I’ve felt for a long time like I would like to marry, but I definitely don’t think I’m ever going to be good enough for her and even if I was, I don’t think she’d ever feel that way about me. This is kind of my other big flaw - that I don’t think people like me. With this girl and my other friends, I don’t feel like they really like me, but just kind of put up with me. And then, with this girl especially, I sometimes get to a point where I think she actually does likes me, but then a few days later I feel like I did something wrong to make her find me annoying again. I always feel like I’m doing something wrong. I don’t know how to deal with this. I guess I just need to rant a little. If anyone has any words of advice I’d greatly appreciate it and if you could just say a prayer for me, it would mean a lot.

 

[idrum677]

First thing to remember is that you have been created in the image and likeness of God and created for a purpose.
They question is not *am I worthy for this vocation? * Rather, it is what is God calling me to do?

Only you can find your vocation witht he help of the Holy Spirit. There is nothing wrong with being single and committed to Christ.
You don’t have to be a priest- there are also vocations as a religious brother, permanent deacon, or lay single.

The best thing to do is get a spiritial advisor- someone who can help you discern and give you the right information. Maybe a priest or deacon in your parish. Also, spend time in prayer in front of the Blessed Sacrament. You can hear a lot in the silence of adoration.

You have my prayers that you will hear God’s call for you.

Pax Christi

 

[SilentKnight]

They question is not *am I worthy for this vocation? * Rather, it is what is God calling me to do?

Excellent clarification. Obviously pride is to be avoided at all costs. Less obvious is the way pride can “sneak in through the back door” at times. While no one “deserves” the priesthood, refusing to submit to God’s call because you’ve decided that you know better than He does about what you should and shouldn’t be doing with your life can also be pride in reverse form.

Buck, drum’s advice on adoration is also very good. What I’m hearing from you, though, (as far as the “natural realm” goes) is a need, more than anything else, for counseling. A spiritual advisor might be helpful, but as a “pseudo mental health professional”, it’s pretty clear to me (in spite of the fact that you’ve only written two paragraphs on your plight) that this would be the most helpful path for you at this time.

You are in my prayers.

Peace be with you,

SK

 

[Norseman82]

I have a major character flaw. I don’t feel good enough for anyone or any vocation except single life. I’ve often felt like I might be called to the priesthood but have usually felt more pulled to marriage, but I don’t feel like I’m worthy of priesthood and I don’t feel like I’m worthy enough to ask for any woman to marry me.

This kind of started because I have one friend, a girl, who I’ve felt for a long time like I would like to marry, but I definitely don’t think I’m ever going to be good enough for her and even if I was, I don’t think she’d ever feel that way about me. This is kind of my other big flaw - that I don’t think people like me. With this girl and my other friends, I don’t feel like they really like me, but just kind of put up with me. And then, with this girl especially, I sometimes get to a point where I think she actually does likes me, but then a few days later I feel like I did something wrong to make her find me annoying again. I always feel like I’m doing something wrong. I don’t know how to deal with this. I guess I just need to rant a little. If anyone has any words of advice I’d greatly appreciate it and if you could just say a prayer for me, it would mean a lot.

First, how old are you?

Second, do you think you can handle lifelong celibacy?

Third, when you speak of “character flaws”, are they something you think can be fixed? Have you spoken to a priest about it?

 

[buckr02]

First, how old are you?

I’m twenty.

Second, do you think you can handle lifelong celibacy?

Yes, I think I could handle it. At the moment I doubt that answer, but that’s because I’ve had a problem with porn that I’m still struggling with, which is messing with my perception of things.

Third, when you speak of “character flaws”, are they something you think can be fixed? Have you spoken to a priest about it?

Yes, that’s exactly what I mean - they’re things that can be fixed. I used to be much worse, but it’s taking so long to change even the littlest things. I haven’t spoken to any priests about it yet, but it’s definitely on my agenda.

 

[kib]

Are you a college student?

I’m willing to bet anything that if you are, your school will have a counseling center that will help you with your self confidence issues. Maybe they can also help you learn something about yourself, which may lead you to the vocation the lord has planned for you. The lord would never choose a vocation for you that you can’t handle, with his help.

A priest will also fill in the gaps on he spiritual side. College psych profs are usually not in line with catholic teaching, from my experience anyway.

Good luck. Keep praying.

 

[Brenda4God]

You sound so sad. I really think you should find a good Catholic counselor. I don’t think there’s anything I could say that would help you enough if you have those kinds of thoughts running through your head. They’re just very wrong. And they’re not from God. That much I know.

Good luck to you. I’ll say a prayer for you!