Not quite Catholic . . . yet

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NeesyBeth

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Hi y’all,

Let me say a little bit about myself before I ask the question on my mind. I’m going to hopefully be starting RCIA in September. My husband, a cradle Catholic, and I attend a small parish in a small town in California. We will be baptizing our 3 1/2 yr old soon later this month. I was infant baptized in a Lutheran church and later re-baptized in a fundamentalist church as a teenager. My husband is supportive of my decision to join the Church and become Catholic. However, he can’t answer many of the questions I have, and I’m much too uncomfortable asking his parents or the few Catholic friends I have. I am somewhat knowledgeable about the teachings and beliefs, but struggle understanding customs, traditions, practices and expected behaviors. To be frank, I don’t know exactly how to conduct myself at Mass.

I have been attending regularly with my husband now for a couple months. I do not feel comfortable making the sign of the cross, from the holy water at the entrance to genuflecting before entering the pew. I don’t make the sign of the cross when everyone else does at the various points in the service. I do stand/sit/kneel as appropriate and bow my head in prayer. I recite and sing with everyone else, though I’m only one of a couple who read from the missal. As we leave the church, I have noticed the priest often gives me a curious look, trying to figure me out. Like I said, it’s a small parish. The church itself probably only holds fifty worshipers, and is hardly ever half full at the Saturday evening Mass we normally attend. I realize that I stand out by not doing the customary actions.

My question is, since I plan to convert and have had a Triune baptism, is it okay for me to start doing these things? My husband has said that many non-Catholics do them as a way to be respectful. I’ve always felt uncomfortable doing that, as I felt it was sort of pretending to be something I wasn’t. I didn’t know if I should start doing these things now, or wait until I start RCIA. I would like to start acting “more Catholic,” as I move towards RCIA. So I wonder, should I start making the sign of the cross, dipping into the holy water at the entrance (I realize this recalls my baptism, which was Triune although not Catholic), genuflecting, etc.? Also, I would appreciate any suggestions for prayers, devotions, etc. I am also interested in setting up a small home altar, with a modest crucifix and perhaps a statue of Mary and a candle, or something along those lines. I appreciate any suggestions about that as well.

Thank you and God Bless,
Neesy
 
NeesyBeth said:
My question is, since I plan to convert and have had a Triune baptism, is it okay for me to start doing these things?
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Yes, of course.

Dipping your fingers into the holy water and making the sign of the cross is a reminder of your baptism. It’s appropriate for anyone who is baptized to do so. (And for those who aren’t baptized, it’s a sign of what is to come.)

As far as the sign of the cross in general, I have seen many non-Catholics do it as well. You do believe in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit and the saving action of the cross, so why not acknowledge that?

Genuflecting before entering the pew is a way of showing reverence to the Blessed Sacrament in the tabernacle. Again, it’s completely appropriate for you to do so.

These are things that sort of get into your Catholic DNA and may feel a little uncomfortable at first. But they will become familiar and comfortable as you go along.
 
You can go ahead and do anything that you see other people doing at Mass, except for going up for Holy Communion, since you haven’t yet received, or been prepared for, your First Holy Communion. Same for Confession - you will make your First Confession after you’ve received some preparation for it in RCIA.

But everything else is fine - go ahead and make the Sign of the Cross, and anything else that you want to do. You can even go and light a candle after Mass, if they do that at your parish, too. 🙂
 
NeesyBeth said:
Hi y’all,

I have been attending regularly with my husband now for a couple months. I do not feel comfortable making the sign of the cross, from the holy water at the entrance to genuflecting before entering the pew. I don’t make the sign of the cross when everyone else does at the various points in the service. I do stand/sit/kneel as appropriate and bow my head in prayer. I recite and sing with everyone else, though I’m only one of a couple who read from the missal. As we leave the church, I have noticed the priest often gives me a curious look, trying to figure me out. Like I said, it’s a small parish. The church itself probably only holds fifty worshipers, and is hardly ever half full at the Saturday evening Mass we normally attend. I realize that I stand out by not doing the customary actions.

Thank you and God Bless,
Neesy
Click to expand...
Yes, Yes, Yes, you can do all these things but receive communion. You can even venerate the cross or a relic if you feel so inclined.

Making the sign of the cross makes me really feel Catholic as it was not something I ever did before.

If your parish sings the Credo, sing it loud and proud as long as you believe what it says. Bless yourself with the holy water, go to Eucharistic Adoration, etc, etc.

I will probably be starting RCIA in September too, but I plan to meet with the Pastor soon so we shall see.

These little things really do help me to hang on and not feel grounded.
 
Yes, do all of these things, if you like.

You are not required to do many of these things, though genuflecting is a very important acknowledgement of the presence of Jesus.

Don’t feel out of place if you don’t know when to do what just yet and certainly do not feel like less of a Catholic (or soon to be one) because you need to use the missal. I was just welcomed into the Church at Easter and but I still use the Missal to keep me on point.

The positive thing is that shortly after you start RCIA, the new Missal will start and everyone will be re-learning it it and will be in the same boat as you. Heck, you may even have a leg up in that you don’t have 30 years of doing it one way and trying to learn a new way.
 
Like others have said I’d encourage you to do all these things. I realize that some things like the sign of the cross may seem so “culturally Catholic” that it may feel like doing it is a proclamation that you are already Catholic or something. Really though it’s just a pretty basic Christian symbolism, about the Trinity, the Cross, and baptism. If you were not baptized it might be a little iffy, but you are baptized.
 
some prayers ive always felt were beautiful is the Rosary and the litany’s of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the litany of the immaculate Heart of Mary
 
There have been some great answers here. My husband & I did RCIA last year &‘were received this last Easter. Congrats on taking this step. You will learn so much at RCIA & it will help with many of the things you mention. Also, your husband would probably be welcome to attend with you & you can learn together. Every part of the Mass & the things like making the sign of the cross etc, have great meaning behind them. Ask God to guide you, open your heart to learning.
I had trouble with the rosary, but knew from studying others who I knew were close to God & prayed the Rosary that I needed to trust the Churches’ sacramentals.
You will see it all works & will fall into place.
👍
 
NeesyBeth said:
Hi y’all,

Let me say a little bit about myself before I ask the question on my mind. I’m going to hopefully be starting RCIA in September. My husband, a cradle Catholic, and I attend a small parish in a small town in California. We will be baptizing our 3 1/2 yr old soon later this month. I was infant baptized in a Lutheran church and later re-baptized in a fundamentalist church as a teenager. My husband is supportive of my decision to join the Church and become Catholic. However, he can’t answer many of the questions I have, and I’m much too uncomfortable asking his parents or the few Catholic friends I have. I am somewhat knowledgeable about the teachings and beliefs, but struggle understanding customs, traditions, practices and expected behaviors. To be frank, I don’t know exactly how to conduct myself at Mass.

I have been attending regularly with my husband now for a couple months. I do not feel comfortable making the sign of the cross, from the holy water at the entrance to genuflecting before entering the pew. I don’t make the sign of the cross when everyone else does at the various points in the service. I do stand/sit/kneel as appropriate and bow my head in prayer. I recite and sing with everyone else, though I’m only one of a couple who read from the missal. As we leave the church, I have noticed the priest often gives me a curious look, trying to figure me out. Like I said, it’s a small parish. The church itself probably only holds fifty worshipers, and is hardly ever half full at the Saturday evening Mass we normally attend. I realize that I stand out by not doing the customary actions.

My question is, since I plan to convert and have had a Triune baptism, is it okay for me to start doing these things? My husband has said that many non-Catholics do them as a way to be respectful. I’ve always felt uncomfortable doing that, as I felt it was sort of pretending to be something I wasn’t. I didn’t know if I should start doing these things now, or wait until I start RCIA. I would like to start acting “more Catholic,” as I move towards RCIA. So I wonder, should I start making the sign of the cross, dipping into the holy water at the entrance (I realize this recalls my baptism, which was Triune although not Catholic), genuflecting, etc.? Also, I would appreciate any suggestions for prayers, devotions, etc. I am also interested in setting up a small home altar, with a modest crucifix and perhaps a statue of Mary and a candle, or something along those lines. I appreciate any suggestions about that as well.

Thank you and God Bless,
Neesy
Click to expand...
Of Course non-Catholics can do everything Catholics do, except receice the Eucharist. Non-Catholics should cross their arms across their shoulders to signify Blessing Only, no Communion. It is always best to Tell the Priest you want to start RCIA, if you plan to. Or ask What RCIA is, if you wonder. The Sign of the Cross signifies Publically you believe and honor the Trinity, in the Sign of the Cross; it is a First Centuries sign/honor to The Trinity. The Mass is the Lord’s Last Supper Feast of the Lord, done by His Representative with Apostolic Powers: The Priest.
 
It sounds like you are learning in the best way possible, by just doing it. Before I “officially” converted (I hadn’t even been baptized at that point) I went to many Masses with my friends, at first I had no clue so I just copied everything they did except for Communion. So go ahead and make the sign of the cross and genuflect etc.

The ideas that you have for a home altar sound wonderful. Flowers are always a nice touch,at my parish we always have flowers and plants near the altar.

Also a fun fact about the sign of the cross. My RCIA director told us that in the very earliest days of the Church it was something that the Christians used to identify themselves to other believers. So kind of the “secret handshake” in those times.
 
May God’s Peace, Love, Mercy, Healing, Graces and Blessings be with you and to all!

We genuflect as we enter the Catholic Church because we show our reverence, our devotion, our love to the King of Kings, The Lord of Lords, The Only Begotten Son of God, Our Good Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Who is truly, physically present in the Most Blessed Sacrament in the Tabernacle found in each and every Catholic Church throughout the world. Yes, it is the same Jesus that was born, crucified and died 2,000 years ago. So, when you go to holy mass you participate in the worship of Our Good Lord Jesus Christ, God Himself, Who is truly present. Now that is awesome. What is more awesome is receiving Him in Holy Communion when you become a Catholic. It is not a mere symbol. You actually get to eat and drink the very Body and Blood of Jesus Christ Himself. That is how much He loves us. He wants to feed us with His Own Self, with His very Own Body & Blood. Now that is amazing!

Regarding prayers and devotions, I would recommend for you to start praying the Rosary. It is a very beautiful & very powerful prayer that contemplates the Life, Death & Resurrection of Our Good Lord Jesus Christ - the awesome mysteries of our Christian Faith. It is Biblical. So, when you pray the Rosary, you are actually praying the Bible.

ewtn.com/devotionals/prayers/rosary/

Another very beautiful and very powerful prayer is the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy. To learn more about this prayer please click the link below.

ewtn.com/devotionals/mercy/dmmap.htm

Another very beautiful devotion is adoring Our Good Lord Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament. Spending time with Him and keeping Him company. If you are not able to drop by at any Catholic Church, you can do it online.

64.247.253.34:8000/view/index.shtml

Continue to open your heart and soul to Our Good Lord Jesus and trust in Him completely.

Ask Our Blessed Mother to bring you closer to His Son and you will be surprised with the progress that you have made in a short amount of time for she will make sure that you won’t take any detour but only the short cut to the Heart of Our Good Lord Jesus.

Praying for you and for all!
 
NeesyBeth said:
My question is, since I plan to convert and have had a Triune baptism, is it okay for me to start doing these things? My husband has said that many non-Catholics do them as a way to be respectful. I’ve always felt uncomfortable doing that, as I felt it was sort of pretending to be something I wasn’t. I
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Neesy,
I don’t think you are pretending to be something you are not.
You are someone intending to become Catholic, who believes in the Trinity, so there is nothing ungenuine about crossing yourself, using Holy Water, etc.

I loved making the sign of the cross and using the Holy Water right off the bat.
However, genuflecting seemed harder for me, I think because I (wrongly) felt like people might be watching me or something and I felt I did it so self-consciously.

This little 2-page explanation of Gestures and Postures of the Congregation at Mass might help. I always liked knowing what I was supposed to do. 😉 Keep in mind that not everybody in a given congregation does all of these things.
 
Aelred_Minor said:
I realize that some things like the sign of the cross may seem so “culturally Catholic” that it may feel like doing it is a proclamation that you are already Catholic or something. Really though it’s just a pretty basic Christian symbolism, about the Trinity, the Cross, and baptism.
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That is how I felt, actually. In my mind I understand the symbolism, but I feel funny about actually doing it. I have done some research on my own in preparation of RCIA, and I know the meanings behind the symbolic actions. Even so, it still feels as if I’m jumping the gun somehow. I’m beginning to realize that feeling has little basis in reality, but is a silly hangup of my own creation. 🤷
 
TheresaThoma said:
Also a fun fact about the sign of the cross. My RCIA director told us that in the very earliest days of the Church it was something that the Christians used to identify themselves to other believers. So kind of the “secret handshake” in those times.
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That is a fun fact! I think I remember learning about that at some point, but I must have forgotten. It sounds a little familiar. Perhaps that is the genesis of my hangup? LOL 😃
 
Thank you all for the encouragement and prayer suggestions. I have read a book that explained the Mass in great detail, and do know the meanings behind most of the gestures, etc. Like someone mentioned, I felt a bit awkward doing the gestures because of the cultural connotation that it somehow signified that I was a confirmed Catholic, which is not yet the case. However, as I read through the great responses here I came to realize that there is no reason not to do the gestures. I will eventually be confirmed, so I might as well start acting Catholic, right? I know I cannot receive the Eucharist, but I did come across a prayer for spiritual communion that I can pray privately while my husband goes up to receive. I am baptized, so recalling my triune baptism by making the sign of the cross with holy water is acceptable. I just need to get past that awkward feeling and get used to doing them. I think it is a bit more difficult for me because of my past experience. I attended a Catholic high school, and was instructed by a nun to not do the gestures. So I am very used to not doing them, as I’ve had years of practice being a non-Catholic at Mass. I am sure this is just the first of many times in which I will have to rearrange my thinking during the conversion process. My husband told me that there was probably no reason for my hesitation and that I should just start doing them whenever I felt comfortable doing them. I figured he was right, but thought it wouldn’t hurt to get some answers from Catholic Answers. 👍

And I’m glad I did, because I think my confidence has been bolstered by the kind and helpful responses. I will start trying to do the gestures this weekend. :signofcross: Thank you all so very much!
 
Aelred_Minor said:
Like others have said I’d encourage you to do all these things. I realize that some things like the sign of the cross may seem so “culturally Catholic” that it may feel like doing it is a proclamation that you are already Catholic or something. Really though it’s just a pretty basic Christian symbolism, about the Trinity, the Cross, and baptism. If you were not baptized it might be a little iffy, but you are baptized.
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The Sign of the Cross is earliest Church Christ founded ‘sign’ that one is Christ believer, follower and sign of respect For Our Lord and Church; it does not indicate or require Catholicism now. :crossrc:
 
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