Not sure how I feel about this

[Arlene]

My girls go to a private Christian school run by one of those mega non demon chuches. Before you start flaming me on that issue, I will just say I know its not ideal but its the best we can do right now.

There are quite a few people at the church there who are fallen away Catholics. Most of the “used to be Catholics” are on 2nd marriages, even if the first was in the Church. Needless to say there is a level of anti-Catholicism there. In my opinion, it is a bunch of sour grapes, they couldn’t/wouldn’t/didn’t want to follow the rules, so therefore criticize the rules and the institution that stands by them.

I expain things to my daughter that there is God’s way and the world’s way. God’s way is that we get married once and for always. The world’s way is that you don’t have to stay married if you don’t want to. I tell her that some people go to that church because they don’t want to listen to what the Catholic Church teaches about God’s way.

OK, so now the dilemma. My older daughter had a teacher in first grade who was unmarried. During the summer she got married, so my daughter came back to second grade to learn to call the teacher by her new name. Second grade, third grade she calls this teacher by the new name. But come to start fourth grade and teacher is back to the old name because she is now getting a divorce.

There were some raised eyebrows and whispers about how a divorced teacher in a Christian school is setting a bad example for the children. In theory I agree, but how hypocritical is THAT??

My younger daughter was set to have this teacher for first grade when school starts later this month. Now I find out that this teacher’s contract was not renewed. On one hand, I understand why it was done, she was in a position of authority and needs to set a Christian example for the children, but on the other hand, I think it was horrible when I look at who it was that was casting stones. She was a good teacher and my daughter was looking forward to having her.

So do I stand as a good Catholic and support her being fired because of her being divorced? Or do I embrace the indignation I feel and use it as just one more reason why this school is becoming less and less of the best option for my girls.

 

[puzzleannie]

Arlene:

My younger daughter was set to have this teacher for first grade when school starts later this month. Now I find out that this teacher’s contract was not renewed. On one hand, I understand why it was done, she was in a position of authority and needs to set a Christian example for the children, but on the other hand, I think it was horrible when I look at who it was that was casting stones. She was a good teacher and my daughter was looking forward to having her.

So do I stand as a good Catholic and support her being fired because of her being divorced? Or do I embrace the indignation I feel and use it as just one more reason why this school is becoming less and less of the best option for my girls.

actually, we probably do not know why her contract was not renewed, we are probably speculating, along with all the other parents and teachers in this school. We could use this as a golden teaching opportunity (catechetical moment) to teach Christian charity to our children by assuming the most charitable interpretation possible, that the woman’s divorce was due to a situation beyond her control and was the best solution for a dilemma which is NOYB, and that she is leaving this school for a better position elsewhere, and wish her luck, and pray for her during this difficult period of her life.

 

[Kay_Cee]

First, you are to be praised for trying to find the best education for your kids.

As to the teacher–I too taught in a private school (Catholic), and I can tell you that there are all sorts of reasons why a contract might not be renewed. It could be that the teacher herself decided to leave (private schools are not known for paying high salaries). It could be that she was let go for a number of other reasons. She might have not been getting along with the administration or the other teachers. The administration could have decided she had gotten too high up on the salary scale (I was once let go for this very reason, as was half the faculty at my school).

In other words, it’s no good to speculate.

Now, as for your daughter, you could explain that you don’t know why this teacher is not going to be there next year, but you wish her the best wherever she’s going. You might also suggest to your daughter that she should do what she can to make the new teacher feel welcome.

 

[katieq]

Arlene:

So do I stand as a good Catholic and support her being fired because of her being divorced?

I’m not necessarily sure that a “good Catholic” would take the side of supporting the firing (if infact it was done due to the divorce, which as others have stated, may not be the case). We don’t know why the divorce took place (perhaps she was not in favor of it). I am not condoning divorce in any way, but my point is that many different things could have taken place here. As very little appears to be known, except that she is now divorced, I think you’re right that charity would be the best path.
God bless,
k

 

[magdalisa]

Arlene:

So do I stand as a good Catholic and support her being fired because of her being divorced? Or do I embrace the indignation I feel and use it as just one more reason why this school is becoming less and less of the best option for my girls.

Arlene, I can sympathize with you. Our kids have been in some different private schools and we have seen some difficult situations. One thing I have learned that helped me is to remember to PRAY first for the Principal and those in authority over the staffing decisions, and then accept what they have decided.

I have seen far too many parents organize for one cause or another to try to get the principal, or pastor, or school board to try to change some decision that these parents judged was a bad one. Bottom line is, if it is not under your area of authority, the best you can do is trust God, focus on the positive things that school does give to your children, and help your kids see the positives-- your situation sounds like a great opportunity to discuss the Church’s stand on divorce with your kids, as it sounds like you are doing.

Changing schools should be an option only if you are pretty sure that another school won’t have a worse set of problems…I speak from experience!

There is also a lesson to be learned about keeping your commitment to any relationship, even through the hard times when we feel indignant…Maybe God has you there for a reason that He has not yet revealed to you.

Hope that helps! God bless you & I’ll keep you in my prayers

peace–
magdalisa