Not sure if this belongs here, Adoption Question

[mrsblue]

If a person has a child from a previous relationship, and there is no contact at all with the biological father, no child support, no visitation etc. Is it acceptable to the church for the husband of this woman to then adopt said child legally and will the church view him as the childs father? The birth certificate was left without bio dad’s info because he did not sign the paternity recognition docs.
I would partially assume that it would be ok becuase it would be an adoption and the church is ok with that. But I wonder since the bio dad is not consenting, because by not signing the acknowledgement of Paternity, he voluntarily gave up rights to the child. But does the church see it that way?
Also in regards to any adoption, does the church require that all adoptions be open so that the children can chose whether or not to contact bio parents?

 

[dixieagle]

If a person has a child from a previous relationship, and there is no contact at all with the biological father, no child support, no visitation etc. Is it acceptable to the church for the husband of this woman to then adopt said child legally and will the church view him as the childs father? The birth certificate was left without bio dad’s info because he did not sign the paternity recognition docs.
I would partially assume that it would be ok becuase it would be an adoption and the church is ok with that. But I wonder since the bio dad is not consenting, because by not signing the acknowledgement of Paternity, he voluntarily gave up rights to the child. But does the church see it that way?
Also in regards to any adoption, does the church require that all adoptions be open so that the children can chose whether or not to contact bio parents?

Hi,

I am a (grown) adopted child, most interested in this topic. I think that what you’re inquiring about are more legal than Church issues, frankly. You would have to check the laws of your state (speak with a lawyer well versed in adoption law) to determine what measures must be taken before the husband could legally adopt the child. State laws vary with regard to “open adoption”, which, again, is a legal rather than Church issue. More and more adoptions today are “open” to some degree or another.

I strongly feel that, whether “open” or not, adopted children have the right to know their biological origins and to choose whether or not to act on that information when they reach 18. I did so, much later in life, and found my birth mother. She had never had more children and died a couple years later, at peace, because she knew that my life had been a good one - better than what she would have been able to provide. My wonderful adoptive parents, though skeptical at first, were pleased for her.

Best of luck and my prayers are with you.

 

[mrsblue]

Legally the bio dad has no rights because he effectively gave them up by refusing to acknowledge paternity. So what the parents want to do is revise the birth certificate. Which is legal, to show that the husband is the father. This would change the child’s name legally as well. I guess the concern is that since technically the husband is not the bio dad, would there be a sin in showing it as such on the birth certificate?
Should the birth certificate always be left blank? To me that seems harsh as when the child sees that it will say Unknown when everyone knows who her father is. He is the man who raised her and loved her and cherished her.
There is also concern about the bio dad ever being contacted b the child. It was an abusive relationship that ended in an effort to save the mothers life and certainly the childs from abuse at bio dads hands. So is it wrong to not disclose the name of the bio dad to the child? For her protection? Or are you required to give them all the info you have and hope that they see that the person would harm them and stay away?

 

[Joe_Kelley]

. . .Also in regards to any adoption, does the church require that all adoptions be open so that the children can chose whether or not to contact bio parents?

Many years back 40 or so], when we adopted, there were no open adoptions, or at least they were not common. Our children’s original birth certificates are filed away someplace under a number. They each have a birth cetificate, issued by the Probate Court, which lists us as the parents. There is nothing unusual in those except they are dated a year after their birth.

 

[otjm]

The Church generally does not get into the issue of what is essentially a legal issue. It only does so in cases where the law is clearly immoral; this one is not.

Separate from all of this are the issues of what the child should be told. I am all in favor of the child being told who their father is; it is their father, not the biological parent’s, nor the adoptive parent’s. Often the real reason for withholding such information is a fear that somehow the child will shift their loyalties to the biological parent who split. If the other biological parent has truly done their job - raised the child lovingly, and so had the adoptive parent, then they fail to acknowledge what they have done. Living in fear is a poor way to make decisions that affect another.
For whatever reason the biological parent is not on the birth certificate, that needs to be put aside, and the child told at some point in the future - teenage years of later.