Not sure on the rules here

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God has a wonderful plan for your life!
Don’t be looking at a detour.
 
Serenity412 said:
OK. So, Im single and there is this guy at work who I liked before I found out some info on. He is close in age to me but he is married, going to get a divorce and has 2 kids.
What are the rules as far as dating and marrying someone in this situation within keeping the Catholic tradition?
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You are NOT permitted to date/have an romantic involvement with a man who is married.
Even if he gets a divorce he is still married in the eyes of the Church as the Church assumes all marriages to be valid until proven otherwise through an annulment process.
 
Serenity412 said:
OK. So, Im single and there is this guy at work who I liked before I found out some info on. He is close in age to me but he is married, going to get a divorce and has 2 kids.
What are the rules as far as dating and marrying someone in this situation within keeping the Catholic tradition?
Click to expand...
I really think that when you see a married man wanting to talk to you, you should not even say hello or look at him unless he is with his wife and directing your conversation mainly to her. If you know them both and you happen to see him say hello and excuse yourself AND GO do not wait to be invited to have a coffee or something. This is a general statement but it really have to be applied to each case in particular, you have to be very astute to see if they are trying to seduce you.

This is from his side and from your said when you know someone is married flee like to the plague, do not even cross in his path, change work if necessary. Do not nurse your liking for him, get away… you need a young person like you, near to your age, never married who is going to love you and have children before God together. Pray to God and he will give you. Go to Mass and you will find prospects there, do not despair. Have faith.

Hope this helps,
Gloria

.
 
1ke said:
Don’t even go there.
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In my very less than scientific analysis of divorced people, there is a reason they are getting divorced and at least half of the problem is with them.

Stay away!
 
Ok so you want a guy who has one failed relationship( that you know of) and works with you, he has a record of not doing well and you’d have to see him at work if it didnt work out, I’ve got no experience here but seems like a bad idea. You will find a better guy
 
Serenity412 said:
OK. So, Im single and there is this guy at work who I liked before I found out some info on. He is close in age to me but he is married, going to get a divorce and has 2 kids.
What are the rules as far as dating and marrying someone in this situation within keeping the Catholic tradition?
Click to expand...
He is close in age to me but he is married,
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How could you be unsure of the “rules” here?

How did we get to the point where we argue if marriage means two men getting together, or if we should date married people as Catholics?:eek:
 
How can I help who I have feelings for. These feelings are not lustfulor anything like that,they are true deep down feelings.

What if I just be his friend and pray for him
 
That you think you have “feelings” for this person that are true deep down feelings (whatever that means) is telling that you are not thinking about this in a Holy way. The 9th Commandment and 6th Commandment are directly in play here.

What do you mean by feelings? How do you know this man?

You can pray for him, but I think you should not “be his friend” if it means personal contact. There is too much temptation here.
 
Serenity412 said:
How can I help who I have feelings for. These feelings are not lustfulor anything like that,they are true deep down feelings.

What if I just be his friend and pray for him
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Normally I would say that there is no problem being a friend. But that’s not the first question you asked; it’s the second. You really not interested in being a friend, but rather a future spouse.

Take it from those more experienced than you; you are getting into a mess. You’re dealing with a married man with children. You will have to deal with the husband, his children, AND his wife. The (possibly future ex) wife is the mother of his children, and she will always be part of your life. That’s even assuming that they get divorced and subsequently annulled…which will take years, of course.

Also be very wary that he’s rebounding. Both men and woman often go through a phase when separating/divorcing, where they are intentionally or unintentionally out for fun.

Why turn your life into a complex mess?
 
TheWarriorMonk said:
Normally I would say that there is no problem being a friend. But that’s not the first question you asked; it’s the second. You really not interested in being a friend, but rather a future spouse.

Take it from those more experienced than you; you are getting into a mess. You’re dealing with a married man with children. You will have to deal with the husband, his children, AND his wife. The (possibly future ex) wife is the mother of his children, and she will always be part of your life. That’s even assuming that they get divorced and subsequently annulled…which will take years, of course.

Also be very wary that he’s rebounding. Both men and woman often go through a phase when separating/divorcing, where they are intentionally or unintentionally out for fun.

Why turn your life into a complex mess?
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In comment to the last line ill say you could do it so you cam write a book about it( kidding of course thought a bit of humor was needed here)
 
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