Not sure that this absolution was valid

[Ana_v]

I went to confession today before Mass, and I’m concerned about some things that happened (especially during the prayer of absolution) and some things that didn’t happen.

(1) When I approached my confessor, he had his head leaning on his left fist which (even if this was not his intention) gave me the impression that he was tired or not desiring to be there.

(2) He did not ask me how long it had been since my last confession.

(3) During the (initial) part of my confession, he was still leaning his head on his left fist, and though he would nod his head as though to indicate understanding /acknowledge he was listening, his general facial expression and eyes looked wearied and were half-way close (as if wanting to shut them), and as such looked uninterested. However, during the middle or so of the confession period, when he began to counsel me, he straightened and was active in his speech and was in normal conversational posture.

(4) After he was done conseling me (in regards to a particular thing I had related) he immediately began to say the words of absolution (though I had one more thing on my mind I wanted to confess!) in a half-hearted way. He whispered them unevenly (as though his voice was fading in and out) and very rapidly, to where I did not catch everything, yet, it was such and *so fast * that I’m very certain he skipped over parts of the formula for absolution or paraphrased it.

I do distinctly remember hearing the words “God, the Father of mercies” , “peace”, and “I absolve you”, and “God bless you” (those were his last words).

After I had gotten up and left, I subsequently looked over the formula:

“God, the Father of mercies, through the death and the resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”

I’m pretty sure he did not say the words “in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”

(5) He did not tell me to say an act of contrition.

Since I was worried that the absolution was invalid, I went to another priest (there were three different priests inside the parish, administering the Sacrament of Confession) to tell him that I wasn’t sure my previous confession was valid, and he intejected and began to say “didn’t you just confess with…” and I tried to explain to him that my confessor didn’t follow the formula, but he just lightly smiled it off/ shook his head, and didn’t give me further explanation.

Because of my uncertainty, I decided not to receive communion, which really hurts because the theme of the homily was Corpus Christi and the importance for Catholics to receive communion, and the priest also said that for those Catholics who say they can’t take communion, example he gave: “because I’m divorced/remarried”, to stop thinking they can’t because they can, they just need to speak to a priest and get resolved, whatever needs resolving and that people who truly love God will pursue God and do whatever it takes to resolve their issues so they can receive communion.

• I want to add that, my exprience with my confessor today truly surprised me; I was looking forward to confessing to him (today is the first time I went through confession with him), since he is an otherwise gracious and pleasant person to speak to and I’ve enjoyed the homilies he’s given.

 

[Stylites]

I would accept the Sacrament you received as valid and full, if it were me. You even went to another priest with concerns about the validity with the first, and so you had done your due diligence.

Now, if you have another thing to confess then certainly bring it up at the next opportunity. If it is a mortal sin then of course refrain from Holy Communion until you can confess it. If it is a venial sin, then you can otherwise receive Holy Communion before confessing it.

As for the particular demeanor of this priest, I tend to look beyond the caricatures and surmisings of why anyone else does anything, as he might have been deeply immersed in distraction or prayer rather than being seemingly bored or put off; but we always tend to want to take things personally.

[In another thread, timeandeternity posted this link to an Apologist question which Fr. Serpa answered: hthttp://forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=44959&highlight=absolution”]tp://forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=44959&highlight=absolution]

 

[Joannm]

Some priests put their heads down and close their eyes when hearing confessions face to face. It makes it easier on the person not to be looked at while confessing. He did look at you when counseling.

Why were you waiting for him to ask how many times you committed a sin. You should have simply offered that information as part of your confession. Also, again, why should he have to tell you to say the act of contrition? You know that you have to say one. Do you also know that you don’t have to say a formal one? It simply needs to be an acknowledgement of sorrow and contrition. Perhaps the priest already understood something you said to be an act of contrition.

As far as his words of absolution, I don’t always listen carefully to what the priest says, and sometimes they do say it fast. I am usually deep in my own prayer at this time that I am not paying attention to his words. This must come from my childhood when the priest said the prayer in Latin (and I couldn’t hear it because I was saying my own act of contrition at the same time (that’s the way it was done).

I would not worry. From what you said your confession was valid.