Now I Feel Alone in RCIA

[onmyquest]

I was just wondering if anyone else sounds like me. I am Protestant and have been going back and forth about converting for years. One of the reasons I want to join the Catholic Church is the fact many Protestant churches no longer follow or teach the Bible. And that is the root of my new issue in RCIA.

My husband supports me doing this but he himself is not interested. That’s all well and good for right now. BUT, I knew this would be an issue, just didn’t know how big until talking to the priest. You see, my husband is divorced which the Protestant religion does not follow like the Catholic Church. So now I am getting all the paperwork together. One positive is his ex was Catholic so I have a lack of form case. But still I have to go through locating paperwork and getting my husband to fill out the paperwork as well. I am getting the paperwork first before talking to the priest again.

So, I went to my RCIA class last night (which is mostly Catholics with maybe 2 other Protestant couples) and I felt so lonely for the first time on my quest. So, here were the thoughts going through my head:

1. If the Catholic Church wants to heal the Church, should they not see that us Protestants are going to have Sin from the Protestant church teachings and may in fact marry a divorced person since this is not stressed the same in Protestant churches? And should this fact allow us not to have to go through the annulment process since we were “away” from God?
2. How is the Church going to get all Protestants back with such a hard hurdle to climb? Had his ex not been Catholic, then the annulment may never be granted, and I hope the lack of form is granted.
3. I really feel God sent me my husband, why should I be punished? We will never divorce and I produced him his first child. His first wife after 10 years did not.
4. Why can people who are born Catholic remain Catholic if they support non-Church teachings, but someone like me who WANTS to follow it, may never get the chance since I am married to a divorced man?

I am praying about this a lot harder now. But I am afraid if the annulment is not granted or my husband starts to balk at all he must do to help me, then there is no other place for me to go (just going to Mass as the Priest suggested without ever taking the Sacraments is just like me staying at home now as I will be isolated). I just don’t want to go to Protestant churches anymore, but if I can’t get the annulment then I probably will never go to church again.

SO HOW IS THE CHURCH GOING TO HEAL WHEN SUCH AN ISSUE MAKES EVEN A STRONG PERSON LIKE MYSELF FEEL ALONE AND REJECTED AND TRAPPED IN THE PROTESTANT CHURCH?

 

[kage_ar]

First, welcome.

Remember, the law regarding the permanance of marriage are God’s laws - Jesus spoke them on earth. They are binding on all people, even Protestants.

God will give you the grace you need - He wants you to come home!!

Prayers.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

You are angry and have a right to be. But you should be angry at those who mislead you, who never taught you that Scripture itself teaches, you cannot marry someone who has been married and divorced. It is not the Catholic Church who has followed the Teaching of Christ for 2000 years that you should be angry at. By the way it is not your Annulment case, it is his, he has to prove that he is free to marry you, you do not have to prove that he is free to marry you.

You will soon have a Sponsor to attend RCIA with you.

 

[Marquette]

I was a protestant who became Catholc in 2006. I was many years ago married to a man who had been baptized in the Catholic church but then never really attended and we were married in a protestant church. I never knew which church he was baptized in, just the city, I presented my divorce papers, and everything was accepted ok. There were other people in my RCIA class, Catholic and protestant alike, who had various “messes” they were trying to deal with. The priests worked with everyone and in the end there wasn’t anyone who wasn’t able to be baptized, confirmed, or whatever.

I’m sure things will work out for you as it sounds like the same situation I had. If your husband knows where his wife was born the church can check the baptismal records for the diocease as that is what they did in my case. You can send for your husband’s copy of his divorce at the courthouse where it was granted–you have to pay a small fee. Really, you don’t need to badger him about this at all. And remember, the Catholic church did not “make up” these things, they are just trying to follow the teachings of Jesus.

May God bless you.

 

[LittleDeb]

I was just wondering if anyone else sounds like me. I am Protestant and have been going back and forth about converting for years. One of the reasons I want to join the Catholic Church is the fact many Protestant churches no longer follow or teach the Bible. And that is the root of my new issue in RCIA.
SO HOW IS THE CHURCH GOING TO HEAL WHEN SUCH AN ISSUE MAKES EVEN A STRONG PERSON LIKE MYSELF FEEL ALONE AND REJECTED AND TRAPPED IN THE PROTESTANT CHURCH?

Welcome. I am so sorry you are going through the difficult process for decree of nullity. It was very tough on my husband so I can sympathize.

Yes, you sound very much like me when my then-boyfriend, now husband wanted to become Catholic and marry me. His situation was a nightmare of paperwork. We both felt very punished.

He told me during the middle of our first date that he was divorced. Too late. We were already in love. He didn’t know it was that huge of a deal coming from a Protestant background. He went to fill out his paperwork for declaration of nullity 2 weeks after meeting me. Many people would have said that I, as a Catholic, should have called everything off right from the start.

It was a devastating time. He had been divorced for 6 years and now had to revisit his “stupidity.” He married at 20, divorced at 24. She was pregnant by another man by the time they separated. He thought it was behind him. At times it felt like a cruel practical joke having it come back to haunt us.

But we did get through it. I really don’t know how. He started with one advocate who just didn’t get it. He changed to another right before he filed his paperwork. It took 6 months just for him to fill it out because it was so painful to rehash.

I often wanted to send a letter to the bishop asking the same questions you ask here. Why was he being punished for not knowing the truth about Marriage? Why was the Church “determined” to keep him out? It felt unfair that he was being held to rules he didn’t know existed. But on a deep level he came to the same conclusion another poster said. It was the ones who didn’t tell him the truth who were wrong. The Church was right in Her teaching.

The answer we were given was to be patient and wait. (We did a lousy job at that I’ll tell you!) It was a test of my faith that The Church held THE keys of authority. We couldn’t fathom it being denied, but it still could have been. The only reason it was a formal case was she had been baptized as an infant, though not raised in any faith. He was baptized during their separation too which added another dimension to it.

In the end we just had to wait and let the Tribunal do their work. I just had to have faith that the Church was who She said She was.

God bless you and your husband. I pray his deep affection for you will move him to help you with this process.

 

[clark41]

When I was young, back in the REAL Sixties, we still had Sisters teaching in Parochial School and most of us girls 70-643 thought nuns knew nothing about such matters. But we had a Health teacher who explained this particular question by rephrasing it. How can it be wrong 650-195, when it feels so NATURAL? Many things, she explained, that feel natural are in fact natural but the world would be red in tooth and claw if everything that felt natural was given free rein. For example, it feels natural to hit your brother over the head when he knocks 350-018 down a house of cards you have patiently and carefully built, or to shake your baby sister when she has been crying with the colic for four hours; it feels natural to deliver a cutting remark that makes the whole class laugh and the target cry; and of 646-363 course it feels natural to do the things you mention.