Nuptial Mass questions

[Atreyu]

As you can probably see from my signature, in less than two weeks I’m gettin’ married! I’m trying to put together a program both for guests and for us to work from (ie two different programs), and I have a few questions about the latter.

For starters, where does the Nuptial blessing go? Is it after the Our Father or after Communion (or somewhere else)?

This is the Nuptial blessing my fiancée and I have opted for:
Holy Father, you created mankind in your own image and made man and woman to be joined as husband and wife in union of body and heart and so fulfil their mission in this world.

Father, to reveal the plan of your love, you made the union of husband and wife an image of the covenant between you and your people. In the fulfilment of this sacrament, the marriage of Christian man and woman is a sign of the marriage between Christ and the Church.

Father, stretch out your hand, and bless N. and N.

Lord, grant that as they begin to live this sacrament they may share with each other the gifts of your love and become one in heart and mind as witnesses to your presence in their marriage.

Help them to create a home together and give them children to be formed by the Gospel and to have a place in your family.

Give your blessings to N., your daughter, so that she may be a good wife and mother, caring for the home, faithful in love for her husband, generous and kind.

Give your blessings to N., your son, so that he may be a faithful husband and a good father.

Father, grant that as they come together to your table on Earth so they may one day have the joy of sharing your feast in Heaven.

We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Our priest has suggested we make a few little changes, to make it more “equal”. One of the suggestions he made is to change the “mankind” in the first line to “humankind”. With all respect to Father, I thought this suggestion to be ludicrous - and so there’s no way I’m making this change. However, I wasn’t so opposed to some of the other changes he suggested. In particular, he suggested we make an addition to the line “give your blessings to… your son…”, to make it reflect more the preceding lines. And so my question is, are we allowed to make such changes to the Nuptial blessing? I care quite a bit about the liturgy - enough to adhere closely to the rubrics - and so do I need to stand up to Father and tell him we won’t make any changes? He’s a good priest, but he doesn’t seem to care a huge amount about the rubrics sometimes (in particular, he drops the “men” from the Creed - I can’t stand that!!).

I’m sure I had some other questions, but I can’t think of them now. If I can think of any other ones, then I’ll post them later in this thread.

Thanks in advance for any help I receive! God bless.

 

[Atreyu]

I remember now my other question. A friend of my fiancée’s is organinsing the music for our wedding. I didn’t realise it when we organised it, but the psalm we chose isn’t an actual Biblical psalm. Is that allowed? It is a song call “All I ask”.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

As you can probably see from my signature, in less than two weeks I’m gettin’ married! I’m trying to put together a program both for guests and for us to work from (ie two different programs), and I have a few questions about the latter.

For starters, where does the Nuptial blessing go? Is it after the Our Father or after Communion (or somewhere else)?

This is the Nuptial blessing my fiancée and I have opted for:Holy Father, you created mankind in your own image and made man and woman to be joined as husband and wife in union of body and heart and so fulfil their mission in this world.

Father, to reveal the plan of your love, you made the union of husband and wife an image of the covenant between you and your people. In the fulfilment of this sacrament, the marriage of Christian man and woman is a sign of the marriage between Christ and the Church.

Father, stretch out your hand, and bless N. and N.

Lord, grant that as they begin to live this sacrament they may share with each other the gifts of your love and become one in heart and mind as witnesses to your presence in their marriage.

Help them to create a home together and give them children to be formed by the Gospel and to have a place in your family.

Give your blessings to N., your daughter, so that she may be a good wife and mother, caring for the home, faithful in love for her husband, generous and kind.

Give your blessings to N., your son, so that he may be a faithful husband and a good father.

Father, grant that as they come together to your table on Earth so they may one day have the joy of sharing your feast in Heaven.

We ask this through Christ our Lord.Our priest has suggested we make a few little changes, to make it more “equal”. One of the suggestions he made is to change the “mankind” in the first line to “humankind”. With all respect to Father, I thought this suggestion to be ludicrous - and so there’s no way I’m making this change. However, I wasn’t so opposed to some of the other changes he suggested. In particular, he suggested we make an addition to the line “give your blessings to… your son…”, to make it reflect more the preceding lines. And so my question is, are we allowed to make such changes to the Nuptial blessing? I care quite a bit about the liturgy - enough to adhere closely to the rubrics - and so do I need to stand up to Father and tell him we won’t make any changes? He’s a good priest, but he doesn’t seem to care a huge amount about the rubrics sometimes (in particular, he drops the “men” from the Creed - I can’t stand that!!).

I’m sure I had some other questions, but I can’t think of them now. If I can think of any other ones, then I’ll post them later in this thread.

Thanks in advance for any help I receive! God bless.

You should not change the wording in the Rite of Marriage. Doing so could call into something into question later. Stick to the printed wording in the official books. Make it clear to this priesst that you expect him to follow the Rite of Marriage AS PRINTED by the Church.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I remember now my other question. A friend of my fiancée’s is organinsing the music for our wedding. I didn’t realise it when we organised it, but the psalm we chose isn’t an actual Biblical psalm. Is that allowed? It is a song call “All I ask”.

No.

 

[AJV]

As you can probably see from my signature, in less than two weeks I’m gettin’ married! I’m trying to put together a program both for guests and for us to work from (ie two different programs), and I have a few questions about the latter.

For starters, where does the Nuptial blessing go? Is it after the Our Father or after Communion (or somewhere else)?

The Nuptial Blessing comes after the Our Father instead of “Deliver us Lord, from every evil…”

• Our Father…But deliver us from evil.
• Let us pray to the Lord for N. and N. …Holy Father you created… We ask this through Christ our Lord.
• Lord Jesus Christ, you said to your apostles…

 

[agapewolf]

The nuptial blessing is written to go immediately after the “Our Father”…and it drops the end portion that Father says “deliver us from evil” and then when we say “for the kingdom…”

It is VERY awkward, and many priests do it after communion. It seems so haphazard that it was placed after the our father…so odd that it actually drops a regular part of the Mass.
Doing it after communion, near the final blessing is a lot smoother, as well as makes more logical sense.

I agree with not changing the liturgy though.

Here’s the thing…in the “Rite of Marriage” …all over that book it allows for “cultural options”. Again, I don’t think changing things that shouldn’t be changed is good, but the nuptial blessing, and the wording itself, MAY have that option. I’m not sure, and can’t find it online.

There is an option for the procession…it suggests one option… bride and groom walking together, but then immediately it says something like “or other suitable cultural options”

The Psalm MUST be a psalm.

the song “All I ask”…is that from Phantom? that isn’t even appropriate for any part of the wedding, much less than the psalm.

 

[benedictgal]

Having done my share of weddings, it is best to stick to the official rubrics and norms of the rite. As Brother Rich alluded, not doing so will cause problems later on down the line.

As Brother Rich and others have pointed out, the Nuptial blessing occurs immediately after the Our Father. In my neck of the woods, the form that most couples use is the one that focuses on the bride.

On a related issue, when we did weddings at the Cathedral, the former rector advised the couples that any Nuptial Masses that occur from the time of the parish’s regular Saturday Vigil Mass onward need to use the readings from the Sunday Mass (inclusive of the psalm). This especially held true during Advent and Lent. Because the Cathedral is our city’s oldest church (and, prettiest), we used to average (at least when I was there) at least three weddings a weekend (one time, we had seven). Many took place during the Saturday vigil. Furthermore, nine out of 10 times, the former rector celebrated the Nuptial Masses himself.

He also told the couples that whoever they contracted for the music also had to play/sing the parts of the Mass and not just the usual Ave Maria and Panis Angelicus. He also recommended that the psalm be sung rather than proclaimed.

The rector at the time also insisted on walking behind the bride and her parents so as to keep the procession moving, so to speak. That was actually a good practice because it kept the wedding from turning into a style show. For convalidations, the husband and wife waked down the aisle together. The former rector walked behind them. The order was as follows: thurbile, boat, candle bearer on either side of processional cross, groom with parents, bridesmaids and groomsmen, flower girl, bride with parents and then the celebrant.

As far as decorations were concerned, the Cathedral required that the flowers be natural and that they remain in the Church after the wedding. Furthermore, during Advent, Christmas, Lent and Easter, the decorators couldn’t interfere with the church’s liturgical decor. One bride was upset because the former rector would not have the Christmas tree up and didn’t want Christumas decorations for her Advent wedding. He told her that Christmas began the night of December 24th.

 

[Atreyu]

Thanks everyone! I don’t think I’ll be making myself popular by insisting on these changes (reversions I should call them), but that’s too bad. Better to do it right.