Obligation when you hear of a family member living in sin?

[takers]

I don’t think you’re culpable if you don’t say anything for the near-term, but I wouldn’t openly approve of his actions either. If he asks your opinion on the situation, give a truthful opinion. If he asks to bring his girlfriend and spend the night at your house, tell him no and let him know why. But I don’t think that because you keep silent on this topic for a short period of time you’re behaving wrong in the eyes of God. God wants us to help people do the right thing. But if you know that you’d do more harm that good, wait until you’ll do more good than harm.

 

[dulcissima]

*I know that Jesus teaches that if you see a brother in sin, and do nothing…then, you’re sinning, also. Well, I’m not SEEING him sin, but heard about it. Is that a technical loophole?
I think it would be a good idea to ask your priest for guidance on this. I know that we are all familiar with Scripture, but a lot of times when it comes to applying it in our daily lives, especially when we are feeling troubled by knowing what the right thing to do is, it is a good idea to check with our pastor rather than go it alone with our own individual interpretation.

 

[whatevergirl]

I think it would be a good idea to ask your priest for guidance on this. I know that we are all familiar with Scripture, but a lot of times when it comes to applying it in our daily lives, especially when we are feeling troubled by knowing what the right thing to do is, it is a good idea to check with our pastor rather than go it alone with our own individual interpretation.

*I think this is a good idea…thanks everyone for your replies. And your prayers for the situation are appreciated. *

 

[Mrs_Sally]

My dh! Oh my gosh, I hadn’t thought of him! Yes, my husband would talk to him! I know he would…my nephew really likes my husband, too…maybe they could go fishing together or something…hmmm…Thank you–how funny, the answer was in my own house. Well, I have to ask dh if he’ll do this…I know he doesn’t like to get involved in these things…but, if he thought it could plant a seed. Thank you Mrs Sally! :hug1:

So glad I could be of help! I also see that dh agreed to do it! Yay. I’ll be praying for him that he has the right words to at least make your nephew think for a sec!

 

[BillP]

I fear for my nephew. We are all Catholic, in my family. He has not practiced in years. He got married in a Presbyterian church. Do I have any moral obligation to reach out and talk to him about this? If so…what might you say?*

Let me ask you a question out of curiosity. Your post describes someone whose historic behavior is pretty clearly out of the bounds of church teaching. According to your post (quoted above) he was living in sin with a woman he wasn’t canonically married to and generally not “practicing”.

You didn’t feel morally culpable for correcting his behavior then.

Now he has essentially exchanged one apparently adulterous relationship for another and suddenly you feel culpable and that you might have a moral obligation to set him straight. Why now? What changed?

 

[whatevergirl]

Let me ask you a question out of curiosity. Your post describes someone whose historic behavior is pretty clearly out of the bounds of church teaching. According to your post (quoted above) he was living in sin with a woman he wasn’t canonically married to and generally not “practicing”.

You didn’t feel morally culpable for correcting his behavior then.

Now he has essentially exchanged one apparently adulterous relationship for another and suddenly you feel culpable and that you might have a moral obligation to set him straight. Why now? What changed?

*Hi Bill;

I did have concerns that he was marrying outside of the Church, and expressed that to my sister over 4 yrs ago, when I heard of where the wedding was taking place. I also talked to my nephew about having his marriage blessed in the Church, when we first moved to Florida. I couldn’t really do more than that. So, your presumption that I said nothing about him marrying outside of the Catholic faith, would be just that, a presumption.

My sister sent her kids to Catholic school, but apparently, they just went through the motions, as he and his brother do not practice the faith…and my youngest nephew is now a self proclaimed atheist…which I also do my best to get him to come back to the Church.

So, I did feel called to speak up in prior situations, to answer your question. *

 

[whatevergirl]

*I feel a little…confused with this situation, for lack of a better word, because of his angry outburst he had towards my sister when she tried to ‘correct’ him and help him to see that he shouldn’t be doing this…at least he should wait to date until he is divorced.

Hope that sheds some light of where I’m coming from. I don’t want to drive him away, if he feels everyone is ganging up on him, at the same time…I should say what Jesus would have me say. I guess I do feel culpable doing nothing…*

 

[whatevergirl]

*I’m liking the idea of my husband speaking to him this time around…again, thanks Mrs Sally.

His dad doesn’t practice the faith, but used to…(my nephew’s dad) …my sister practices more now, but because of her history, apparently, my nephew doesn’t see her advice as being appropriate.

He apparently didn’t take any advice I offered years ago, before he married. He never went back to mass…never attended even his wife’s church, from what I have heard. And never sought to have his marriage blessed by the Church. So, I’m thinking that perhaps a Catholic male role model, that he trusts and likes…might help him see the light a bit more.

I suppose one shouldn’t worry about the outcome, or the outburst, so to speak…but rather just plant the seed, and let God do the rest. Maybe I’m overthinking his potential reaction…I don’t know.*

 

[kage_ar]

Teeny bit of advice, if you could go back in time - avoid suggesting he get his marriage “blessed” by the Church. The Church cannot bless sin. Suggest that they “regularize the marriage in the Church” or simply “get married in the Church”.

When we use fluffy, inaccurate terms to talk about faith and morals, people are confused to the serious nature of these things. Use real concrete terms.

Should the conversation come up now, the correct thing to say is “as you were not married in the Church…” etc.

 

[whatevergirl]

Teeny bit of advice, if you could go back in time - avoid suggesting he get his marriage “blessed” by the Church. The Church cannot bless sin. Suggest that they “regularize the marriage in the Church” or simply “get married in the Church”.

When we use fluffy, inaccurate terms to talk about faith and morals, people are confused to the serious nature of these things. Use real concrete terms.

Should the conversation come up now, the correct thing to say is “as you were not married in the Church…” etc.

*Okay, I will say that…I think I do use the term ‘blessed’ a lot, and I don’t mean it the way it might be perceived. Like, perhaps he thought I meant…‘bless my current marriage? I’m already married.’ I remember back then, he said nothing. That is the problem with him…when I mentioned this when we first moved to Florida, and got together with his wife…he said nothing. And changed the subject. I know that I try hard to not come across preachy…I’m a sinner like the next person, but people just don’t like to ever be told ANYTHING. My sister told me last year, when she got into an argument with them at holiday time…that she perceives her son to never want to hear or deal with any conflict…he just walks away when you say anything ‘constructive’ to him. Now, I know my sister. She doesn’t mince words, I have also had trouble with comments she makes to me, which are unsolicited…because of how she phrases things. So, it’s important to relay the message…but we can be wise in how we deliver it, too. Right?

Thanks, kage. *