OHGosh, My aunt has just told me someting about her that i NEVER knew!

[RomanRyan1088]

She told me she had 2 Abortions!!! I am a real Pro-Life person and i would always talk about WHY it is wrong to have an Abortion. She has been taking Communion because she really hasn’t done anything else THAT bad. Now she said she is really sorry, she was young,and her Boyfriend told her to, but now even he regrets it. She is a VERY strong Woman and she don’t like for others to tell her what to do, and im afraid to tell her that she should go to confession. I don’t know what to think, i don’t think she thinks that she needs to go to confession in order to recieve communion. What do ya’ll think I should do?

 

[StratusRose]

Hmm, if I were your aunt I’d be kinda mad that my nephew went on the Internet airing my most private business to strangers…Besides, how do you know she hasnt already gone to confession? I think you need to step back and let your aunt make her own decisions and lead her own life.

 

[RomanRyan1088]

StratusRose:

Hmm, if I were your aunt I’d be kinda mad that my nephew went on the Internet airing my most private business to strangers…Besides, how do you know she hasnt already gone to confession? I think you need to step back and let your aunt make her own decisions and lead her own life.

OUCH!!!

1. Don’t worry she tells her Business to everyone, including people she don’t know. She even tells stuff that is NONE of her business. Oh and I thank God you ain’t my aunt, also You will most likely never meet me or her.
2. She was Catholic when she was young, but she left the church, and to tell you the truth, she knows NOTHING about the church. So i HIGHLY DOUBT she ever went to confession!!!

And the reason I asked is because I need advice, NOT to make her look bad in front of people she don’t even know, so i Suggest you step back cuz you don’t even know whats going on!!!

 

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

Ask her what names she has given her two children she aborted, so that you may ask them to pray for you and all of your familiy.

If she ask, go more into Catholic teachings about life.

 

[cassman]

RomanRyan1088:

She told me she had 2 Abortions!!! I am a real Pro-Life person and i would always talk about WHY it is wrong to have an Abortion. She has been taking Communion because she really hasn’t done anything else THAT bad. Now she said she is really sorry, she was young,and her Boyfriend told her to, but now even he regrets it. She is a VERY strong Woman and she don’t like for others to tell her what to do, and im afraid to tell her that she should go to confession. I don’t know what to think, i don’t think she thinks that she needs to go to confession in order to recieve communion. What do ya’ll think I should do?

Have you asked her why she told you now? What is different about now, as compared to earlier? Does she see something in you that made it easier for her to tell you?

You could ask her what she thinks she should do, being a Catholic and all.

Did she bring up confession or did you? Was it already on her mind as a possibility?

 

[RomanRyan1088]

T.A.Stobie:

Ask her what names she has given her two children she aborted, so that you may ask them to pray for you and all of your familiy.

If she ask, go more into Catholic teachings about life.

Thank you, I will tell her if she asks. I will ask them to pray for us. I will go more into Catholic teachings.

 

[RomanRyan1088]

cassman:

Have you asked her why she told you now? What is different about now, as compared to earlier? Does she see something in you that made it easier for her to tell you?

You could ask her what she thinks she should do, being a Catholic and all.

Did she bring up confession or did you? Was it already on her mind as a possibility?

I guess he felt like I am more mature than back then. She just came home 2 years ago, but she never goes to church, so I doubt that she even knows the times Confessions go on. Usually I bring it up, and she says she needs to go to confession, but she never goes.

 

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

RomanRyan1088:

Usually I bring it up, and she says she needs to go to confession, but she never goes.

You could offer to get a priest to come over to her house, hear her confession and then join you for dinner.

 

[RomanRyan1088]

RomanRyan1088:

OUCH!!!

1. Don’t worry she tells her Business to everyone, including people she don’t know. She even tells stuff that is NONE of her business. Oh and I thank God you ain’t my aunt, also You will most likely never meet me or her.
2. She was Catholic when she was young, but she left the church, and to tell you the truth, she knows NOTHING about the church. So i HIGHLY DOUBT she ever went to confession!!!

And the reason I asked is because I need advice, NOT to make her look bad in front of people she don’t even know, so i Suggest you step back cuz you don’t even know whats going on!!!

oh and i forgot, i LOVE my aunt and i would NEVER do anything to do harm to her, or stab her in the back!!! And if you do that to your family, than thats YOUR buisness.

 

[RomanRyan1088]

T.A.Stobie:

You could offer to get a priest to come over to her house, hear her confession and then join you for dinner.

I’ll think about that.

 

[LauraL]

Why don’t you just give her a great big hug, tell her you love her and that you’re really sorry for what she has gone through?

 

[chimakuni]

Is your aunt asking for your help? There are some wonderful programs in the Church for women who have aborted their children. Project Rachel is one of them, www.hopeafterabortion.com. It is a compassionate ministry for those who need healing after having had an abortion. There may be many different circumstances surrounding her abortion - she may have been pressured into it, or she may have made the decision herself - only she knows.

Your aunt should not be receiving communion…if she does not go to Mass on a regular basis, she needs to confess that, let alone her abortions. She is in a state of mortal sin, although she may not realize it.

Above all, please be gentle with your aunt. If she has confessed these abortions to you after all these years, it might be that she is in a fragile state of mind. Although I do not know her, I am a Project Rachel alumni and I understand way too much about abortion and its aftermath.

God Bless you - please tell you aunt that I am praying for her.

 

[Naphali]

Ryan a similar thing happened with me and a very GOOD friend a year ago – she called and told me that she’d had an abortion 2 months before … There’s just no going back so I told her that naturally I still loved her, that God would forgive her but that she really needed to turn this thing around and pray pray pray for her soul. She’s not Catholic but I told her I thought I priest would hear her confession anyway … she didn’t go for it so I went with pray-pray-pray instead …

Then a few months later she called and told me she did it again – this time she NEARLY kept the pregnany but when her boyfriend (JERK!!!) drove her to the clinic they told her it was twins and she had to wait a few days to get to a point where the procedure they wanted to do would work … for those few days she cried and begged and pleaded with her boyfriend to keep those babies and he refused, flatly … he hated his job and didn’t want to have to feed two more mouths. (JERK!) so she did it again –

Now I’m actually more mad at him than I am at her but I can’t do anything about it. All I can do is be her friend, cry with her, pray for my own desire to kick her in the rear end and know that in her heart she’ll always lack what I hold so dear, three little angels including a splendid pair of twins.

Honestly I have to think of those three souls as ‘miscarriages’ just to have a common conversation with her. Sometimes she watches my girls play and muses how she might have had two similar babies and at those times unless I can REALLY take the high road I can’t say a thing … my mind stews with so many thoughts of the kind of person I thought she was and the kind of person she turned out to be.

Honestly she’s just weak, she’s human, she’s afraid and alone really – her boyfriend being a JERK and all … I’m what she has in the way of friends and I’m her connection to any sort of faith or belief so I feel like I have to be there for her if only in the hope that next time she’ll call me BEFORE she goes to the clinic.

 

[AHMFan]

Wow…I don’t know about the 1st response you got on this thread…Ouch is right…

Anyway, I would also let her know you keep her in your prayers and that you pray to her unborn babies for her healing…I would be upfront and honest about the churches position on abortion but in an informing way… She needs your love and support too, but she needs to understand what she did was very wrong in God’s eyes…

Just my opinion…

Tanya

 

[BLB_Oregon]

RomanRyan1088:

She told me she had 2 Abortions!!! I am a real Pro-Life person and i would always talk about WHY it is wrong to have an Abortion. She has been taking Communion because she really hasn’t done anything else THAT bad. Now she said she is really sorry, she was young,and her Boyfriend told her to, but now even he regrets it. She is a VERY strong Woman and she don’t like for others to tell her what to do, and im afraid to tell her that she should go to confession. I don’t know what to think, i don’t think she thinks that she needs to go to confession in order to recieve communion. What do ya’ll think I should do?

You know her… why do you think she confided this in you? She told you she regrets it… don’t be so sure that she never intends to go to confession, or that you know why she hasn’t. It is very hard to ask for forgiveness when you can’t forgive yourself. “Strong” women can be far harder on themselves than they are on everyone else.

I don’t think most people admit their unconfessed sins in order to brag. They want acceptance as a person. Telling serious Catholics one’s sins is sometimes a way to sound out what kind of reception one might receive in the confessional. Being harshly condemned gives them the rationale that we don’t practice what we preach, anyway, so who cares what they think. It gives them an out, a rationalization for their denial.

What you might try is to get information on Project Rachel or whatever program there is like it in your diocese. Give her the information (preferably in a hard copy rather than a web address) and tell her that you don’t want to butt in, but you want her to have something that you just can’t give her, which is someone to talk to who has some idea what she’s still going through. Once in her head, the attraction of the idea may just not leave her alone.

She doesn’t just need to get “cleaned up” to go to communion. She has a child to grieve, a family to grieve. If she’s going to accept what the confessional has to offer, she’s going to need someone that she is convinced has some idea what she’s experienced. Her need for forgiveness and healing is in a unique class; that is why these programs exist.

If the subject of confession comes up, you can ask her, “You do go to confession at least once a year, don’t you?” If she does not, encourage her to go based on the blessings it has brought on you… these precepts of the Church are there for our benefit, not as ecclesiastical knuckle-wacks. (And no, they didn’t go out with Vatican II!)

 

[Mandi]

RomanRyan1088:

i don’t think she thinks that she needs to go to confession in order to recieve communion. What do ya’ll think I should do?

“The Seven Spiritual Works of Mercy”

1. To admonish sinners,
2. To instruct the ignorant
3. To counsel the doubtful.
4. To comfort the sorrowful
5. To bear wrongs patiently.
6. To forgive all injuries.
7. To pray for the living and the dead.

I don’t know how to tell you how to deal with this “Charitable” but I can only tell you that you must! Your Aunt is living in a state of mortal sin, and if she honestly doesn’t know this, then it is your job to tell her. We have a responsiblity to do the above, when WE stand before God, WE will be asked why we did nothing. It is not charitable to avoid hurting peoples feelings, when it is their immortal soul you are dealing with.

My guess is that your relationship will be harmed, but she will never stop thinking about it and with prayer and sacrifice - eventually might do something about it! After admonishing the sinner all you can do is pray - here is an excellent prayer to help.

Pray for the Conversion of a Sinner

O Mary, Mother of Perpetual Help, thou knowest so well the great value of an immortal soul. Thou knowest what it means, that every soul has been redeemed by the Blood of thy Divine Son; thou wilt not then despise my prayer if I ask for thee the conversion of a sinner, nay a great sinner who is rapidly hurring on toward eternal ruin. Thou, O good merciful Mother, knowest well his irregular life. Remember that thou art the refuge of sinners; remember that God has given thee power to bring about the conversion of even the most wretched sinners. All that has been done for his soul has been unseuccessful; if thou dost not come to his assistance, he will go from bad to worse. Obtain for him an effectual grace that he may be moved and brought back to God and his duties. Send him, if necessary, temporal calamities and trials, that he may enter into himself, and put and end to his sinful course. Thou, O most merciful Mother, has converted so many sinners at the intercession of their friends. Be, then, also moved by my prayer, and bring this unhappy soul to true conversion of heart. O Mother of Perpetual Help, show that thou art the Advocate of Refuge of sinners so I hope, so may it be.
Amen.

 

[StratusRose]

I did not mean to sound mean in my first reply. I just happen to be a very frank person and tell it like it is. I am sorry if I offended you, for that was not my intent. Abortion is a touchy issue and I was worried that people would post on this thread judging your aunt and then you’d have to explain more and more of her story and it would just end up not pretty. Sometimes it’s just better to leave things unsaid.

You’re right I don’t know what’s going on, and neither does anyone else here. In my honest opinion, I think that talking to family members would have been a more rational approach, but I can see that you are a very concerned young man and you love your aunt very much. So if you feel like this is the best way to get advice, then so be it.

And I do not “stab my family in the back.” My family has had worse issues than family members having abortions. The way we handle things is to pray for them and keep the problems in the confines of our family.

Once again, I’m sorry to sound mean. But I just tell it like it is…which is probably why I’m studying to be a lawyer. Please be aware that when you post on issues like abortion, you are going to get a barrage of different opinions. Mine just happened to be one you did not want to hear. I admit, I could have been more tactful, however be prepared to get conflicting opinions.

-Kim

 

[RomanRyan1088]

StratusRose:

I did not mean to sound mean in my first reply. I just happen to be a very frank person and tell it like it is. I am sorry if I offended you, for that was not my intent. Abortion is a touchy issue and I was worried that people would post on this thread judging your aunt and then you’d have to explain more and more of her story and it would just end up not pretty. Sometimes it’s just better to leave things unsaid.

You’re right I don’t know what’s going on, and neither does anyone else here. In my honest opinion, I think that talking to family members would have been a more rational approach, but I can see that you are a very concerned young man and you love your aunt very much. So if you feel like this is the best way to get advice, then so be it.

And I do not “stab my family in the back.” My family has had worse issues than family members having abortions. The way we handle things is to pray for them and keep the problems in the confines of our family.

Once again, I’m sorry to sound mean. But I just tell it like it is…which is probably why I’m studying to be a lawyer. Please be aware that when you post on issues like abortion, you are going to get a barrage of different opinions. Mine just happened to be one you did not want to hear. I admit, I could have been more tactful, however be prepared to get conflicting opinions.

-Kim

Sorry for the stabbing in the back commet, i was just angry.

 

[StratusRose]

RomanRyan1088:

Sorry for the stabbing in the back commet, i was just angry.

These things happen.

 

[pittsburghjeff]

StratusRose:

I think that talking to family members would have been a more rational approach

-Kim

Sometimes…but some people come from disfunctional families and when they keep problems within the family all they get is that same disfunctional view. I think this guy posted because he wanted a solidly Catholic perspective and thought that this would be a good place to get it. He runs less risk of telling the story here anonymously than he would telling the story to his parish priest who might know the aunt. I also think you misread how most of the people here feel about women who have had abortions. Our hearts break from them just as much as they break for the children who are killed. They are victims of the abortion industry which exlpoited them. They are victims of our culture that told them lies about abortion and made them feel as if they had no other choice than to abort.

Once again, I’m sorry to sound mean. But I just tell it like it is…which is probably why I’m studying to be a lawyer.
-Kim

Now now dear…don’t go pawning it off of my(our) profession

God bless you