Ok, let's sell the xbox

[Nechasin]

**LOL…

so are you telling me that you’ll shut it off then and there without saving all of your hard work?**

Most of the games that I play don’t have to be at a certain point to save, so there isn’t a problem. But for the few that do, yeah, I will shut them off.

But I have found a way to subvert my wife. My oldest daughter loves to watch me play Lord of the Rings Online (on the PC) and Star Wars on the Wii. And I’m teaching my next oldest also.

 

[Feste_1242]

OP, the previous posters have pretty much said it all, but I really don’t think a regimented schedule is necessary. As Feanaro’s Wife said, you don’t want too much of a mom-son relationship.

BamaRider, your posts have been very entertaining, as well as enlightening. I never knew my tax money was being used for Halo!

Perhaps you can designate maybe 2 hours a day for him to play. It’s reasonable. Like 8-10PM or such…

You’ve never played Xbox, have you?

 

[JMMK]

I’m not married, but I’m engaged to this wonderful woman I’ve been dating for 7 years (well, on Nov 3) and I play World of Warcraft. It drives her nuts a lot of the time, especially if I’m playing while on the phone with her (we currently live 6 hours apart). I never gave it much thought to it since most of the time I can hold on a conversation a play at the same time. One night she told me tearfully that she felt like she was competing for my time and she felt terrible about trying to guilt me out of it but that it hurt. I told her I never knew that’s how she felt about it and so I stopped playing while talking to her. After all, its just a game.

Moral for the ladies: Guys can be pretty dense on how women feel, direct approach is sometimes best.

Moral for the guys: You love her, so you wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. You probably won’t understand, but do it anyway. Dying to yourself a little bit goes along way. (Read Ephesians 5: 25-30)

 

[plafpfaff86]

thanks for your suggestions
i really don’t want to end up with a “mom/son” relationship (although i feel like it occours naturally sometimes)
we’ll see what happens

 

[aggiecatholic05]

ok so im married and have a daughter and an xbox 360. i set rules for myself.

1. i have to study at least an hour a day before i play.
2. 2am school night, 3am weekend i turn it off, even if i have to set an alarm.
3. its pretty awesome/addictive so i encourage my wife to interupt me ocasionally

all that said in a few weeks i wont have time for it anyways. hunting trumps gaming by a long shot.

 

[Lepanto]

Just ship your hubby’s Xbox to me.

Problem solved.

 

[jwashu]

last xmas (much to my husband’s delight) i gifted him with an xbox 360 . within the last two months he’s really taken a strong intrest in his gaming (halo anyone?) to the point that he gets too worked up and usually spends too much time in front of the tv (such as until 5 in the morning too late). we both work hard, and at the end of a long day at work i want to spend time with my husband. not him AND the xbox.
does anyone have any ideas to divert his attention from the xbox back to our marriage…or should i just sell the xbox?

I believe I’m on the same page as Bama with this one!

9 Years ago my father passed away, we hadn’t spent much time together the last 2 years because I was building and designing a network for one of the wireless companies. The death was sudden and not something we expected. I know he and I both believed we would have many more years together (we were very close)… still I had a lot of guilt. While I knew he wanted me to succeed and we talked about him and mom moving up to our town in a few years I couldn’t help but be resentful of a lot of things.

Just before that happened I had started playing EverQuest. After his death I poured myself into the game. At first, actually for months my wife just let me. I had been dealing with issues from her side of the family and I believe she was giving me a break for the time I needed to heal. However the gaming (I’ve always been a gamer) got out of hand. Eventually this began to cause major issues on both sides.

Things had slowed in our relationship after 8 years together, we were having trouble getting pregnant and the stuff I worked so hard to build was being completely ruined by the person I replaced 4 years earlier who was now my boss (go figure!).

Because of us trying to get pregnant even seductive ways probably wouldn’t have worked. Eventually I had to just come to the realization that my wife was much more important than any game and that I missed her more than I could say. Yes she was just in the other room and the games were fun but truly there was no contest.

We had a big long difficult discussion, there were definitely issues on both sides that had to be worked out… but we loved each other and agreed to fix those, and we did.

6 months later we were pregnant with our first, we now have 3 with 1 on the way and are happier than ever.

I learned how to enjoy my gaming in moderation. I’ve beta tested almost every MMORPG out there and currently play EverQuest2 along with my 5 year old whom I’ve worked very hard at teaching him moderation from an early age.

The seductive stuff will definitely work but it won’t address the problem. It could be a door opener though, heh. The most important thing is to talk about this, NOW, before it gets out of hand. When we love someone we tend to make excuses for their behaviors… don’t do that. Be honest about how your feel… I’m sure there are things you like to do as well so don’t throw away the 360, just help him figure out how to balance it.

For my son I have made it so that we only play on certain nights and maybe one afternoon a weekend. The other nights are reading, TV etc… so that the kids get in bed so my wife and I can have at least a few minutes to see each other. Perhaps you guys could agree to something like that? On those nights he wants to play you could work on a hobby or something you enjoy individually. Then the rest of the time you guys spend together (note this should be more than the amount of time doing things on your own) If you can help him now, it will make a big difference when you have kids!

Joe

 

[whatevergirl]

I’m not married, but I’m engaged to this wonderful woman I’ve been dating for 7 years (well, on Nov 3) and I play World of Warcraft. It drives her nuts a lot of the time, especially if I’m playing while on the phone with her (we currently live 6 hours apart). I never gave it much thought to it since most of the time I can hold on a conversation a play at the same time. One night she told me tearfully that she felt like she was competing for my time and she felt terrible about trying to guilt me out of it but that it hurt. I told her I never knew that’s how she felt about it and so I stopped playing while talking to her. After all, its just a game.

Moral for the ladies: Guys can be pretty dense on how women feel, direct approach is sometimes best.

Moral for the guys: You love her, so you wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. You probably won’t understand, but do it anyway. Dying to yourself a little bit goes along way. (Read Ephesians 5: 25-30)

**aw–that is very sweet! she will appreciate that.

i wonder if my son will be like you someday, when he is serious about a girl. he loves call of duty–ps3–has the head monitor…the whole bit. it actually cost him some homework assignments last year, and this year, we have placed time limits on it, but he seems to be keeping himself in check on his own. he plays sports too, so there’s only so much time to study if you’re coming home, and jumping on that thing. lol

are you familiar with runescape? my kids have heard of world of witchcraft. my dd LOVES runescape. **

 

[whatevergirl]

ok so im married and have a daughter and an xbox 360. i set rules for myself.

1. i have to study at least an hour a day before i play.
2. 2am school night, 3am weekend i turn it off, even if i have to set an alarm.
3. its pretty awesome/addictive so i encourage my wife to interupt me ocasionally

all that said in a few weeks i wont have time for it anyways. hunting trumps gaming by a long shot.

**
wait, who’s playing until 2 and 3am? you or your daughter? lol
either way, that is late!!! **

 

[aggiecatholic05]

**
wait, who’s playing until 2 and 3am? you or your daughter? lol
either way, that is late!!! **

daughter is only 5 months so she sleeps when shes tired and is awake when she wants…ocasionally, she is getting better at keeping a schedule.

as for me i only sleep 4-6hrs a night anyways, maybe for 7 or 8 by sleeping in saturdays when its not hunting season. so usually i sleep from about 2-7am, hence why being up then isnt the issue.

 

[journey137]

I suggest you start with the sit down talk about limiting gaming time, but if it doesn’t work, be prepared to put your foot down. My husband had a similar problem. He was very addicted to video games… the seduction thing didn’t even work. He would just ignore me or say later. Eventually I’d fall asleep and hours later when I woke up he would still be playing. He was lucky if he got 3 or 4 hours of sleep per night because he was playing counterstrike so much. That was while he was a full time student working part time so I wasn’t the only thing being pushed to the back burner. We had talk after talk and he would try to limit it, but just kept going back to old habits until I had enough. I said he had to quit counterstrike period because he was losing me and making himself sick. No more trying to do time limits or schedules because they were not working. He quit cold turkey and went through some withdrawal. He still talks about wanting to play but doesn’t because he’s unable to stop once he starts playing. His family has some other addicts in it (drugs, alcohol, abuse) so I’m glad his addiction was just games and he was able to beat it relatively easy. He still plays other games and other first person shooters, but none of them are as addictive to him as counterstrike was. In his words they don’t give him the same rush because their game dynamics are different.

 

[Caesar517]

**he loves call of duty–ps3–has the head monitor…the whole bit. **

The Xbox 360 is way better than the PS3.
[crude language warning]

**are you familiar with runescape? my kids have heard of world of witchcraft. my dd LOVES runescape. **

Haha, I used to play runescape. I quit because everyone is a real jerk and many people there run scamming operations to steal your money (fake money in the game, not real money). You can’t trust anyone. It wasn’t a fun environment for me. I’d rather be in a trash talking competition on Xbox Live.

In regards to the OP, I think everyone here has given good advice; time for a long talk.

 

[whatevergirl]

The Xbox 360 is way better than the PS3.
[crude language warning]
**
LOL–I wondered about that. I am totally not into ‘gaming.’ lol I will hang out in my son’s room…lounge on his bed, watching a gun fest with a few of his school buddies, he is chatting with over the headset. There is a contest at a nearby shop this month, but for xbox, and the owner told him he’d let him play on it for a few days before the competition to become good at it …lol My son is giving it some serious consideration. **
Haha, I used to play runescape. I quit because everyone is a real jerk and many people there run scamming operations to steal your money (fake money in the game, not real money). You can’t trust anyone. It wasn’t a fun environment for me. I’d rather be in a trash talking competition on Xbox Live.

Yes, my dd has been ‘scammed.’ She gets so upset. I tell her…why do you trust people to hold your things on there? I guess she does a trade, and then asks for the stuff back. aw! She uses it to socialize with her friends from school. I’ll say didn’t you see them today at school? :whacky:

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In regards to the OP, I think everyone here has given good advice; time for a long talk.