Old People On Dating

  • Thread starter Thread starter BLB_Oregon
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
B

BLB_Oregon

Guest
Another thread contained the sentiment that dating someone you’re not going to marry is a way to just have fun and no responsibility.

How many of you old married folks, when you see a young couple out on a date, think to yourself: “Thank heavens I’m not doing that any more!”
 
I hated dating. It just felt so unnatural. That might be because I tend to be a little shy. The only person that I have ever felt 100% comfortable with his my hubby. He has always made me laugh and feel as though I could be completly myself. It is hard for me to imagine that anyone else could make me feel so at ease and happy.
 
What’s this “old people” business toad-hopper!!! :bigyikes: Although no longer married, this is the way I think: The very worst day of being married I wouldn’t trade for the very best day of being single." That’s all I have to say about this.🙂
 
40.png
savone:
What’s this “old people” business toad-hopper!!! :bigyikes:.
Click to expand...
It’s the old saying… you know, you got home from your honeymoon, and no matter what your age, people start asking, “So, how do you like being old married folks?” 😃
 
40.png
BLB_Oregon:
Another thread contained the sentiment that dating someone you’re not going to marry is a way to just have fun and no responsibility.

How many of you old married folks, when you see a young couple out on a date, think to yourself: “Thank heavens I’m not doing that any more!”
Click to expand...
Dear BLB Oregon,

I was widowed in my early 40’s, and spent an agonizing year alone. It was a very difficult time and I’m thankful that all the prayers were heard and God brought a wonderful man into my lonely life.

Now things are very rich in love and spirit. We complete each other. Scripture states (sorta, kinda in this paraphrase) that if a woman is widowed before age 60 (I think) that she should remarry in order not to fall into sin. Having lived it, I agree.

By the way, he didn’t just “pop” into my life, I had to go out and find him. God helps those who help themselves.

Peace,
Elizabeth
 
40.png
BLB_Oregon:
It’s the old saying… you know, you got home from your honeymoon, and no matter what your age, people start asking, “So, how do you like being old married folks?” 😃
Click to expand...
Code: 
     http://bestsmileys.com/talking/9.gif
What about you, Bob? Do you think he’s sincere? Yes, Ralph, I do. How 'bout you, Frank? Yea. Let’s let it slide. THIS TIME!
 
40.png
elizabeth4truth:
Dear BLB Oregon,

I was widowed in my early 40’s, and spent an agonizing year alone. It was a very difficult time and I’m thankful that all the prayers were heard and God brought a wonderful man into my lonely life.

Now things are very rich in love and spirit. We complete each other. Scripture states (sorta, kinda in this paraphrase) that if a woman is widowed before age 60 (I think) that she should remarry in order not to fall into sin. Having lived it, I agree.

By the way, he didn’t just “pop” into my life, I had to go out and find him. God helps those who help themselves.
Click to expand...
Elizabeth,
Just to let you know…you wrote my almost exact story!!!:yup:
 
well, sonny, let me jist settle down here in my rocking chair on the porch and cogitate on this a little, my generation invented “dating” in the modern sense you youngsters mean by hooking up. we were the first generation to man the barricades of the sexual revolution, embrace the pill and woman’s lib and equate social activity with a member of the opposite gender with a roll in the hay. We were wrong, and your generation is paying the price. Dating in that sense (your basic old fashioned fornication) is a destroyer of personal integrity, sexual wholeness, and of marriages because it destroys intimacy. Be warned, although I doubt you will pay any attention, young folks never do.
 
My last date when something like this:
  1. I made the “mistake” of opening doors for her
  2. made another by asking if she would like for me to order for the both of us
  3. made another one when I said grace
  4. made still another when I admitted to not having read “The DaVinci Code”
  5. continued my “unbroken record” by not accepting her pro-(insert abortion, same-sex “marriage”, etc.) stance on the issues of the day
  6. the evening concluded with her saying, “You need to get out more and get a real life.”
    It was my first date in months and it has been months since that one. I’ve been wondering since then. The Beattles had a song “Let It Be.” Maybe, at this point in my life, that’s what God is saying, “Let it be. Just, let it be.”
 
If I’m not old but am visibly backwards, may I speak? I’m also done dating, even if not married. 😉

Dating is a bad concenpt, stemming from sexual “liberation” and it can’t be christianised because it simply doesn’t belong here. The idea was light-hearted and carefree semi-sexual semi-romantic social activity leading possibly to something wrong. With some proper training, Christians can cut sex out of it, but the romantic theme is even more dangerous than the sexual one because it’s less easy to give up (everyone can give up sex, but it’s way more difficult to give up the feeling of male-female closeness, affection and all the fuzzy feelings). No matter how you handle it, it’s still wrong. If you cut intercourse out and leave it alone, it still feels too sexual in nature. If you cut all sex out and leave only romance, it’s still promiscuous on the account of creating romantic entanglements, conscious or otherwise, between multiple people at one time, even more dangerous for the illusion of chastity. If you cut both sexual themes and romantic themes out of it, it becomes awkward and no longer fun. My idea is keep it at “hanging out” for friends and courting for romantic lovers looking at marriage. The worst thing dating does is creating a whole new group between the agape love and the eros love (more or less theologically speaking) and a group of people who are more than friends but less than lovers, which is not Christian (agape is strictly non-erotic and eros is exclusive at all stages). Not like it’s Christian to keep your loved one from meeting people, even if it’s already wife or husband. My opinon is: shut the whole thing down. Restore good old group meetings. Teach people to meet as friends only and not for some “kinda” romantic fun which ultimately still leads to sexual vibes and same kind of psychological and biochemical entanglements, realised or not. This way people won’t behave like “kinda” married when they aren’t, which is a horror, and won’t behave as if they were “kinda” courting a group of people (or pretending to court), which is a big joke. Do it like in the old days when friends were friends and loves were loves. St Paul said “flee immorality” and he knew what he was doing.
 
Let me preface this to say that I’ve only technically had one boyfriend in college for 2 weeks and am now 47 and due to family responsibilities don’t expect to be free to date until I am much older!

I envision the day when I am in my 60’s and am on my first ocean cruise with my married sister who needs a break from her 3 high school age boys who are driving her crazy. On the cruise, I find a old geezer also in his 60’s who still fits into his polyester high school leisure suit and has a gold chain that keeps getting caught in his chest hair. It is love at bi-focaled first sight! We are two old people who begin to date…but alas, the old guy meets an 80 year old woman who likes younger men! He dumps me for her Florida condo and the good OLD life! The story of my life!
 
40.png
savone:
My last date when something like this:
  1. I made the “mistake” of opening doors for her
  2. made another by asking if she would like for me to order for the both of us
  3. made another one when I said grace
  4. made still another when I admitted to not having read “The DaVinci Code”
  5. continued my “unbroken record” by not accepting her pro-(insert abortion, same-sex “marriage”, etc.) stance on the issues of the day
  6. the evening concluded with her saying, “You need to get out more and get a real life.”
    It was my first date in months and it has been months since that one. I’ve been wondering since then. The Beattles had a song “Let It Be.” Maybe, at this point in my life, that’s what God is saying, “Let it be. Just, let it be.”
Click to expand...
Dear Savone,

You made “0” mistakes! You had a perfect date! You were honest and showed exactly who you are and what you beleive in! What a great witness and disciple you are.

The way I went about finding my soul mate was through .com dating. I posted, like you, my intentions of living Ephesians 5:21-34 and found the wonderful man God chose for me. It was because I made the effort to do what you did. It’s kinda like an interview process to search out one who shares your values and interests. You don’t physically meet until you are sure you want to. I hope you don’t give up too soon.

I’ll be praying for your success, in God’s will. She’s out there. Keep looking.

Peace,
Elizabeth
 
So, perhaps, internet dating is the new dating paradigm?

Isn’t a question of --how do you meet people? Old style dating was one method. Internet dating is another.
 
I absolutely love being married to my husband (26 years next week). I enjoyed dating when I was young, but don’t think I’d have the energy and emotional fortitude to go through that again, especially in this day and age.

If I were, God forbid, to lose my husband, I would seriously consider entering a religious order.

'thann
 
40.png
thann:
If I were, God forbid, to lose my husband, I would seriously consider entering a religious order.

'thann
Click to expand...
My sentiments exactly. If I become widowed I wouldn’t date or marry again - I would give my life to serve the Lord. That is assuming my children were older and on their own.
 
40.png
chevalier:
If I’m not old but am visibly backwards, may I speak? I’m also done dating, even if not married. ;).
Click to expand...
Not to step on your lines, but the thread is more about not whether people should do it, but whether there are even that many married people, looking back, who thought it was anywhere near as much fun as advertised.

I found courtship in general to be exhausting and nerve-wracking. Non-romantic socializing was where the fun was. I’m kind of disagreeing with your premise in order to arrive at the same conclusion, and seeing how many others feel the same way.

As you see, most of us would take the plunge into dating again only if we couldn’t find another route of courting… and then only if we felt a need to re-marry. That isn’t everybody, but it is looking like enough people that the young might feel safe in abandoning dating before they start, never fearing that they are missing out. I haven’t dated two guys at once, but I’ve had two guys interested at once. It was awful.

That’s just my 2 cents, though. I wanted to see if anyone else in the know would throw coins into the kitty.
 
40.png
savone:
My last date when something like this:
  1. I made the “mistake” of opening doors for her
  2. made another by asking if she would like for me to order for the both of us
  3. made another one when I said grace
  4. made still another when I admitted to not having read “The DaVinci Code”
  5. continued my “unbroken record” by not accepting her pro-(insert abortion, same-sex “marriage”, etc.) stance on the issues of the day
  6. the evening concluded with her saying, “You need to get out more and get a real life.”
    It was my first date in months and it has been months since that one. I’ve been wondering since then. The Beattles had a song “Let It Be.” Maybe, at this point in my life, that’s what God is saying, “Let it be. Just, let it be.”
Click to expand...
Acting in such a way that you are certain not to have a second date with the wrong person (and boy, was that one wrong for you!) is perfect. It’s courting. The sooner you get to know each other, the better. If you find the right one, she will feel a dinner out with you is like a piece of heaven. You are a peach!

It’s fine to put your best foot forward, as long as it’s your foot.

And “Let it Be” is fine. Probably a little advance scouting will prevent another mismatch that is quite so pronounced as this last one.

Don’t worry too much. You only have to find one. As the saying goes “There isn’t a scraggly horse in the world that you can’t find a scraggly bush to tie it to.”
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top