Oldest Friend & I Part Ways Over Church

[7_Sorrows]

I am sorry to hear a long friendship has ended over you belonging to the Catholic church. Praying for you.

 

[CatholicSheila]

My deepest sympathies. I lost my best friend over my conversion as well and it was incredibly hurtful. I felt that because of one action I suddenly became an ‘untouchable’.

The pain will die down in time. I won’t pretend that it will be fast. It wasn’t for me, but it will happen.

 

[St_Pancake]

So, sadly my oldest friend and I (admittedly we had grown apart) have ended our friendship. It was her decision. She was there when my older son was born. We had been friends in three decades.

We’re both graduate-level educated gals. Both professionals and have worked in universities. Both spiritual, praying, Christian women. My friend had prayerfully changed her mind when asked to be a witness for my annulment after tentatively agreeing and only allowing the Tribunal her post office box at work for contact info. She had filtered me on Facebook and I didn’t even know she was getting remarried nor saw her wedding photos.

I am no longer on her Facebook. She is “deeply saddened” I have chosen to join a “vile” institution that “oppresses” women and gays. I am now, to her, part of a “cult” that hides pedophiles and keeps riches from the poor, among other canards. She knows no better. She feels her anger is righteous.

My friend is a thoughtful, smart, beautiful, giving, selfless, woman who has served in the Peace Corps twice and is an amazing person. She has an incredible heart. I believe her decision and her perspective is heart-breaking but serves to illustrate the harsh reality of society’s view of religion, Catholicism, pro-life values, and how deeply the culture of death has woven itself into our bright, thoughtful, Christian people.

Please, no advice. No hateful comments. No awful remarks about my friend. Please understand I’m sharing something deeply personal in order to help us understand what we are up against, and many of us already know. I want us to understand what it’s like to “on the other side,” as I had been until about four years ago. This is how people see us.

I don’t have any answers. I’m sad that she may not ever learn differently and isn’t going to learn it from me, evidently, as we’re “through.” One would think she would respect me enough to call and say, “Hey, I’m shocked as heck you’d join the Church. What’s up? Can we have a conversation?” Her defensiveness and unwillingness for dialogue is telling.

Use this somehow to further your prayer, compassion, and evangelism.

Please don’t use hateful words. Please, in this awful, awful climate, don’t widen that gap between “us” and “them.” Please find your own way to evangelize. We’re losing people. It hurts my heart.

I’m new to Catholicism and Christianity, so I’m not even sure I know what I’m talking about, but I have learned love from Jesus and I want to share and I keep seeing anger and deep hurt on both “sides.”

Anyway, hugs and love to everyone today. :grouphug:

Catie

No advice or hateful comments?!?!?!? That’s no fun!!!

It’s a shame but I pray to God that the Holy Spirit heals your friend her confusion.

 

[Faxero]

Your experience is entertaining and interesting. I have always been fascinated by stories like this.

Now, to clear up misconceptions concerning Catholicism:

Those who view the Catholic Church as misogynistic or anti-feminine can be referred to Mary, the mother of God, who is considered to be the 2nd most powerful creature in existence as per the hierarchy of creation formulated by the Church.

They can also look up a comprehensive list of the saints canonized by the Church and see the sizable number of females among them. Check out this blog, which is maintained by a Catholic researcher: mysticsofthechurch.com/

Although women are forbidden from becoming priests, bishops, and popes, they may still enter the religious life in the form of nuns and mother superiors.

All positions, no matter how meager, have their roles in developing society and the Kingdom of Heaven.

As for homosexual persons, the Vatican’s official website has numerous resources. This one stands out: vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_19861001_homosexual-persons_en.html

Female persons are honored within the Church. They may not have as much authority as certain male figures, but their sensibilities are valued nevertheless.

May all paths, no matter how dark, lead to Heaven.

 

[3DOCTORS]

It does sound as if this woman either had a bad experience personally with the Catholic Church or has bought into some common straw-man fallacies about the Church that are bandied about in liberal progressive circles and isn’t using critical thinking skills to examine those cliches more closely. Or a little of both. Archbishop Fulton Sheen said that many people who claim to hate the Catholic Church really hate what they think the Catholic Church is. Of course, we live in a time when the culture has shifted quite a bit, and her beliefs may be very sincerely held, erroneous though they are. Pray for her, be charitable if you run into her, and educate yourself on how to address the issues in case she reaches out to you.

 

[Anglewannabe]

She has an incredible heart.

I too am of the opinion that someone with an incredible heart would not cut you off due to a different religion. I am sure this woman does have good qualities, but the best quality to look for in a friend is someone to lead you to God’s truth, not guilt you for seeking it