On Jealousy in catholic relationships

[Reuben_J]

Though I did mention ‘principle’, I am not high on scholarly definition, so I would leave that to others to expound on. They are interesting subjects though.

I can only say that jealousy is a negative trait in Christianity, not because of anything, but because of the negative consequences it may result in.

On the other hand, one has to admit its existence as a reality. At some level, ironically it can be a positive thing, if it is being applied positively. After all, God did admit that He is also jealous.

So just watch out that it will not result in the negative.

On the positive side, jealousy can be overcome, if its causes, for example insecurity, are addressed. Thus a partner can play a role in achieving that.

 

[Vico]

It is so easy to be tempted into jealousy

We avoid sin, in the face of temptation, with acts of will simultaneously strengthened by the grace of the Holy Spirit. So the answer depends upon the individuals cooperation with grace.

 

[adgloriam]

Let’s not close the thread yet. I need some more time to think.

 

[Kathleen18]

Jealousy : " The Green-Eyed Monster." (Though why the eye has to be green, idk. But, I digress.) My friend, jealousy is a strange emotion. And a very dangerous one. It can manifest in some form with pride and anger. Which not only hurts one’s soul, but also physical, mental, and emotional health. I pray that whoever feels this emotion finds peace.

 

[Catfish]

Jealousy is an emotional feeling of insecurity as to the “beloved’s” true feelings towards oneself, that is, the beloved does not love you back or as much as you love him/her.

This can be caused by the beloved participating in behaviors such as outright flirting with others or ignoring wants and needs of first person, putting other people or matters before him/her.

It can also occur when first person is overly suspicious, due to upbringing, gossip, or previous betrayal in a prior relationship. In this case the first person will be suspicious of any and all partners, because of lack of self confidence. The beloved may not be aware that this person needs extra attention and reassurance to be trusting in a relationship.

And perhaps a lack of true feeling for the partner. When you really love someone you know the tie that binds is your own love for that person. Quite simply, no one else will do, no one else can attract you because your heart has already been captured, totally and forever.

I believe that being jealous is totally degrading and beneath you. Either you trust your partner as you expect to be trusted, or break up with him/her.

 

[Reuben_J]

As you said, there are different levels of jealousy. From a condition or bad experience to being unsure of one’s love.

The first condition may not be within one’s control if he/she has deep root causes for it. In that case, it is important for the partner to understand why his spouse is a jealous person, though the problem is it is difficult to know why. A counselor may be able to deduce that but usually between the couple themselves, it will only create problem and misunderstanding.

It is important not to do things which the partner does not like the spouse to do. And in time hopefully trust will be nurtured in the relationship so as to allow greater trust and overcome jealousy.

Our position should be one of compassion rather than condemnation.

Not sure about lack of love can cause jealousy though it probably can in some ways.

Jealousy is usually a fear of losing your loved one (to someone else).

It can be a positive behavior in that there is strong feeling that the marriage should prevail but bad where it can cause deterioration in relationship or where it can become very unreasonably restrictive.

People should not be afraid of being jealous but rather honestly own it and let the partner knows and then work it out for the betterment of the marriage.

 

[adgloriam]

@Catfish @Reuben_J Thanks for taking the time to reply. I appreciate your answers and thoughts.